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> The Suicide Solution, What Drives Us to End our Lives?
Under What Circumstances Would You Commit Suicide?
Under What Circumstances Would You Commit Suicide?
1. If I had a terminal disease. [ 7 ] ** [14.58%]
2. If I had no reason to go on living. [ 3 ] ** [6.25%]
3. If I considered the release of death preferable to the pain of life. [ 13 ] ** [27.08%]
4. Under circumstances other than the ones listed. [ 6 ] ** [12.50%]
5. I would never commit suicide. [ 19 ] ** [39.58%]
Total Votes: 54
  
nighttimer
post Dec 23 2005, 06:25 PM
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It's not exactly a cheery subject, but the apparent suicide of James Dungy, the 18-year-old son of football coach Tony Dungy of the Indianapolis Colts, has shaken the sports world. It is a grim reminder that during this season of happiness and joy there are many people who succumb to "the dark night of the soul" and decide to end their life.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2005/foot...n.ap/index.html

Why?

I cannot understand what it would take to drive a young man to kill himself. I can't begin to know what demons could drive someone to prefer the finality of death over the possibility of life.

I have a friend who twice attempted to commit suicide when she was a teenager. Once she took a overdose of pills and the second time she sat in a bathtub and slit her wrists. The scars are visible on her wrists to this day. The scars on her psyche are not as visible.

To this day, she looks upon the act of suicide as a dignified alternative than wasting away from a crippling disease or slipping into a degenerative mental state.

I see it as a permanent solution to a temporary situation. But what do I know?

The questions for debate:

1. Under what circumstance(s) would suicide be preferable to you than life?

2. Do you know anyone that committed suicide or tried to?

3. It seems to take a "celebrity" to get our attention about people taking their own lives. Is the act of suicide a underreported problem?
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Replies (40 - 47)
CME
post Jan 17 2006, 07:48 PM
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I came accross this discussion while searching for a way to commit suicide but make it look like an accident.

Over the last 5 years I have suffered from panic attacks which have worsened as time has passed. Every single aspect of my life has suffered. I used to be a really outgoing person, loved heading out and socialising ... I now sometimes find it hard to go into a shop myself to buy a newspaper. Unless I have plenty of alcohol prior to doing anything I tend not to socialise.
I have (had) a really good job but it has got to the point that I can no longer go to meetings, meet people etc and because of this I have recently been demoted, losing my privileges (company car, petrol allowance etc). This means I am going to really struggle to afford to get to work in the future. About a year ago I bought a house along with my brother, which we both live in, and again I cannot see myself been able to afford this. I have worked for the company since I left school. I am unqualified and know I will not get another job offering the same salary I am on now.
I saw my doctor about my problem a year and a half ago and despite some initial interviews I am still waiting to see someone to help me with my problem. A year and a half! I am from the UK and do not have private health insurance. Even if I started seeing someone tomorrow I think it is too late to salvage my career.

I cannot see any hope for the future whatsoever. I will loose my job meaning I will loose my house, letting my brother down. I cannot even apply for other jobs because of my condition. I think because I dislike the person i have become so much I end up taking it out on the people closest to me, I have pushed nearly all my family away through arguments and my total hatefullness.

I love my mother sister and girlfriend very very much and do not wish them to know I have committed suicide, this is why I want it to look like an accident. My brother would also get insurance if I died accidently.

I'm not sure why I wrote this here and i apologise for it being so scatty - thats just the way my head is at the moment.

I am not sure where I will go from here, I guess time will tell.

C
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Paladin Elspeth
post Jan 17 2006, 07:58 PM
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QUOTE(CME @ Jan 17 2006, 02:48 PM)
I came accross this discussion while searching for a way to commit suicide but make it look like an accident.

Over the last 5 years I have suffered from panic attacks which have worsened as time has passed.  Every single aspect of my life has suffered.  I used to be a really outgoing person, loved heading out and socialising ... I now sometimes find it hard to go into a shop myself to buy a newspaper.  Unless I have plenty of alcohol prior to doing anything I tend not to socialise.
I have (had) a really good job but it has got to the point that I can no longer go to meetings, meet people etc and because of this I have recently been demoted, losing my privileges (company car, petrol allowance etc).  This means I am going to really struggle to afford to get to work in the future.  About a year ago I bought a house along with my brother, which we both live in, and again I cannot see myself been able to afford this.  I have worked for the company since I left school.  I am unqualified and know I will not get another job offering the same salary I am on now.
I saw my doctor about my problem a year and a half ago and despite some initial interviews I am still waiting to see someone to help me with my problem.  A year and a half!  I am from the UK and do not have private health insurance.  Even if I started seeing someone tomorrow I think it is too late to salvage my career.

I cannot see any hope for the future whatsoever.  I will loose my job meaning I will loose my house, letting my brother down.  I cannot even apply for other jobs because of my condition.  I think because I dislike the person i have become so much I end up taking it out on the people closest to me,  I have pushed nearly all my family away through arguments and my total hatefullness.

I love my mother sister and girlfriend very very much and do not wish them to know I have committed suicide, this is why I want it to look like an accident.  My brother would also get insurance if I died accidently.

I'm not sure why I wrote this here and i apologise for it being so scatty - thats just the way my head is at the moment.

I am not sure where I will go from here,  I guess time will tell.

C
*




CME,

Your life is worth so much more than the sum total of its parts. And you are very capable of change, when you have the right stimulus.

But when you can't find within yourself the strength it takes to make a change, and when the options you have seem very limited and unacceptable, you can still reach out to others for help. I reached out to others and it changed my life enough that I hung in there. I will be celebrating my 53rd birthday this year, and I've been through some rough stuff: my sons were kidnapped by their father and I was unable to raise them, the deaths of my parents, being fired from a job, going through a divorce, being widowed once, and being diagnosed with cancer last year.

Please talk to a psychologist or a religious person (Correction: a spiritual person or a person of faith)--make it somebody who doesn't know you and your family--and talk about your life. Sometimes it just helps to talk. What have you got to lose?

And stick around in AD--there's always something interesting to talk about here--you are most certainly welcome.

I will be thinking about you and praying for you. flowers.gif

This post has been edited by Paladin Elspeth: Jan 17 2006, 08:39 PM
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redliner1989
post Jan 17 2006, 10:09 PM
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QUOTE
I saw my doctor about my problem a year and a half ago and despite some initial interviews I am still waiting to see someone to help me with my problem. A year and a half! I am from the UK and do not have private health insurance. Even if I started seeing someone tomorrow I think it is too late to salvage my career.


Does your Country have the equivalent to our "Americans with disabilities" Act? If so you might be protected at work and to some extent with your Real Estate.

Check with your local City Government, they would have the information.

Are you a Veteran, if so the Military might be able to help.

Do you attend a church? See if they have help available.

Check these sources out. There is help out there, but sometimes it's simply hard to find.

Even if you are not a member of a Church, they often have people who specialize in these types of issues, free and on a non religious basis.

I for years volunteered in a Lutheran support group for Divorced and Separated individuals. I was not Lutheran, and a good number of participants were not religious. We simply did not care, we just wanted to help.

My best to you.

Red
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Lek
post Jan 17 2006, 11:43 PM
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The questions for debate:

1. Under what circumstance(s) would suicide be preferable to you than life?

2. Do you know anyone that committed suicide or tried to?

3. It seems to take a "celebrity" to get our attention about people taking their

I tried to commit suicide. I am 63 yrs old, Ph.D., Veitnam Vet, CPT(USAR) '69-70'. I came back changed and fought the system for 30+yrs. At 12yrs, I got delayed reaction Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, then severe depression, then an even dozen whistle blowing actions (against the system), with severe repercussions. But I didn't lose or get caught bad; just didn't win.

End result: I knew I was human garbage, that my neighbors had sent me to a place of "soul rape", and that they knew nothing of "reality?".

The world became a black hole with nothing to grab onto and only the option of "free falling to nowhere forever". From that point, suicide was as natural and normal as a yawn, and the reasonable reaction to ALL.

That's what it was like. That's why I tried.

I stopped when someone asked a question I had to answer. I am still trying to answer it. It is important enough to take a suicide time out. But if I find the answer?

Who knows? Then, maybe it's back to suicide, maybe the answer says go on.....

Celebrity has no meaning to em at all!
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Korimyr the Rat
post Jan 31 2006, 06:02 PM
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QUOTE(nighttimer @ Dec 23 2005, 11:25 AM)
1. Under what circumstance(s) would suicide be preferable to you than life?

2.  Do you know anyone that committed suicide or tried to?

*


1: Having commited an act of irredeemable dishonor. Becoming totally dependent upon others for care. Knowing that I am becoming senile and being unable to prevent it. Being a burden upon my family without being able to contribute back. Facing the prospect of a lengthy prison term, in a situation where I can't force my jailers to kill me instead.

Probably a couple others I haven't thought of yet. Certainly none of those conditions apply to me at the present.

2: I know several people who tried, but only two who succeeded. I tried it once myself-- for reasons not on the above list-- but survived because of a ridiculously unlikely coincidence. I choose to believe that I was spared for a reason.
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A worried Dane
post Nov 7 2006, 08:37 PM
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First of all my deepest sympathies to you CME, I truly hope thereīll be a light shining in your life soon. And be open about it, donīt hide your feelings and thoughts, they only get worse in hiding, but talk to people near you, this is an important step towards feeling better about your life. You might just be surprised over their reaction and willingness to help, and find that they wonīt judge you half as hard as you judge yourself.

1. Under what circumstance(s) would suicide be preferable to you than life?
None, except for terminal disease ( but regretably it is for relatives illegal in my country to terminate a sick persons life).
The reason being, that it can not be completely ruled out, that the problems which made you kill yourself, does end with the demise of your body. If I was absolutely convinced, that dying is like switching of the lights, I might have considered it. Relief, no more pain, oblivion, like a never ending sleep. Bliss, huh?
What if the problems, which are almost always rooted very deeply in a persons soul, persists? Only now you are cut off from doing anything about it, at least in this life we can act upon our problems, change our ways or immigrate, talk to people etc.
2. Do you know anyone that committed suicide or tried to?
My mother and my oldest sister both took their own life, and Iīd like to think they now have eternal peace , but to the best of my interlectual ability and pure reason, I cannot make myself believe it to be as easy as that. I donīt believe suicide solves anything, but only makes things worse (not to mention the grieving and traumatized relatives and friends). I believe oneīs problems are there for a reason, namely for you to solve them, and in doing so progress and develop as a human being. And a good start would be if you begin with ruling suicide out as an option for a solution, then youīll eventually force yourself to look elsewhere for means.
3. It seems to take a "celebrity" to get our attention about people taking their own lives. Is the act of suicide a underreported problem?
Yes, definitely, in Denmark as well! I have been standing with my suicidal sister, who just recovered from a drug overdose, uttering that she will try it again just as soon as we leave her alone, and when calling the police for help, they just named a few institutions I could try to give a call, and hung up on me. Me and my other sister felt totally abandoned by society in our desperate situation, and we didnīt feel there was anywhere we could turn for help, and eventually my oldest sister succeeded in killing herself. We all knew it would happen, and dispite every effort, it wasnīt possible to stop.
Considering the size of the problem (DK with a population of 5 mill., has 700+ suicides per year, making it equivalent and over the number of people killed in traffic), not much is being done by the authorities. There are suicide 24 hour open phones, all run by volunteers, and in the mental hospitals they offer almost only a bunch of drugs, which make you become a living zombie.
It seems in this case as other cases, that society chooses to favor the wellfunctioning, successfull and well off people, leaving the weak, poor, homeless, mentally ill to svim around in their own dirt.

This post has been edited by A worried Dane: Nov 8 2006, 01:14 AM
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Hobbes
post Nov 8 2006, 12:15 AM
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1. Under what circumstance(s) would suicide be preferable to you than life?

I can't imagine any for me. It would have to be a feeling of utter hopelessness and depression, and I can't imagine myself getting to that point. Too optimistic, I guess---or just too stubborn. There's always something that can be done to improve any situation, and there's always something to look forward to. I also learned from my mom's funeral that most people in such a situation probably don't have the slightest idea how many people care about them, which is a shame, because if they knew that, they'd probably not go down that path.

2. Do you know anyone that committed suicide or tried to?

My mother took her life, and one of my cousins. My mother had attempted to before, but I didn't know what to do about it. My cousin was in his late teens (much like Tony Dungy's son), and it was over a girl.

3. It seems to take a "celebrity" to get our attention about people taking their own lives. Is the act of suicide a underreported problem?

See above...I think so. It kind of surprises me to think that two of my relatives have done so, yet I suspect I am not in that unusual a situation. I think it is more common than most people suspect.
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SNAKE
post Nov 20 2006, 11:10 AM
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In 1985, Oct 26, at 7:00 am, I lost my best friend, my sister. She took her life, and left behind two young boys who have grown into fine men with families of their own. Why'd she do it? I've spent 21 years trying to answer this question, and still can't. She also left three brothers(I'm the oldest) who loved her very much, and parents that have never gotten over it.

What I know for sure...she lived in pain 24/7 from the time she was 13 to the time of her death, at 32. They never found out what caused her pains...first it was a brain tumor...then epilepsy. But I guess whatever led to it had to be bad.

Was she right in taking her life? I don't know...I do know I've had a hole in my heart since she's been gone. I just hope she found peace. But why do people do it...take their lives...unless we can get nside their heads...we'll never know.



SNAKE
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