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> The new political joke thread, Post your jokes here(keep it clean)
Mike
post Mar 24 2005, 02:51 PM
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There were some database problems with the old political joke topic, and I had to close it.

The old topic is located here.

Please use this topic for all of your political jokes!

Mike
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akaCG
post Apr 26 2012, 06:09 PM
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"We should send the Statue of Liberty back to France. In her place, erect a giant Mary Poppins statue, umbrella and all, squatting in Nanny Bloomberg’s harbor. No more huddled masses yearning to breathe free. Yearning leads to striving and we can’t have that because it leads to disparate outcomes; huddling is bad for your posture; and breathing — free or otherwise — produces carbon dioxide which will harm Gaia."

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lo rez
post Apr 27 2012, 01:16 AM
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QUOTE
The Board of State Canvassers deadlocked 2-2 along party lines Thursday on whether Michiganians will get to vote in November on a repeal of the controversial emergency manager law — sparking angry shouts of "shame" and "fascists" from the audience.

...

Republicans cited the wrong font size on the title of the petitions circulated by Stand Up For Democracy, a coalition of groups that launched the petition campaign, as the reason for not approving the initiative for the ballot. Opponents gathered 203,238 signatures, roughly 40,000 more than needed to get a repeal question on the ballot.


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Bet they'd take the font size if they used Comic Sans.
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Paladin Elspeth
post Apr 28 2012, 02:10 PM
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QUOTE(lo rez @ Apr 26 2012, 09:16 PM) *
QUOTE
The Board of State Canvassers deadlocked 2-2 along party lines Thursday on whether Michiganians will get to vote in November on a repeal of the controversial emergency manager law — sparking angry shouts of "shame" and "fascists" from the audience.

...

Republicans cited the wrong font size on the title of the petitions circulated by Stand Up For Democracy, a coalition of groups that launched the petition campaign, as the reason for not approving the initiative for the ballot. Opponents gathered 203,238 signatures, roughly 40,000 more than needed to get a repeal question on the ballot.


Link

Bet they'd take the font size if they used Comic Sans.

Perhaps you'd have been funnier if you said "Chunky Monkey"? Sheesh.

Perhaps if it was happening in your state, Lo Rez, you wouldn't find it so damned funny, after 200,000+ signatures were thrown out due to a technicality about which typesetters testified that 14-point font was indeed used. Perhaps you wouldn't find it so damned funny if YOUR community was taken over by a fascist appointed by the governor, whose powers included dissolving the city council, closing schools, eliminating emergency services; all things you formerly had the power to vote for or against usurped by a little de facto dictator.

You've got a weird sense of humor in this instance.

If the will of the people (placing Public Act IV on the referendum for November's election) can be discarded in such a cavalier manner, just how robust can democracy be in this "land of the free and home of the brave"?

This post has been edited by Paladin Elspeth: Apr 28 2012, 02:25 PM
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Curmudgeon
post Apr 28 2012, 02:33 PM
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QUOTE(lo rez @ Apr 26 2012, 09:16 PM) *
Bet they'd take the font size if they used Comic Sans.

Neither Paladin Elspeth nor I were in the photograph or quoted in the article in The Detroit News that you linked to. We were however, both in the crowd.

Among the testimony that was presented was the fact that when the Michigan Constitution was drafted, movable type was set by hand, and their was felt there was no need to specify that a font had to be readable. It just needed the printer who set the type to attest to the font size before the petition was circulated. Ergo, any font deemed readable by the BOARD OF STATE CANVASSERS
would have been acceptable as long as it was in 14 point, all capitals, and certified to by a printer BEFORE the petition was circulated! It was a decision made strictly on a party line vote, and at least two members of the four member BOARD OF STATE CANVASSERS were perceived to have conflicts of interest.

Either PE or I will be starting a separate thread on this issue later today as we have time. We feel that this is a Constitutional issue, and not a political joke. We have other obligations at the moment.
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akaCG
post Apr 29 2012, 06:58 PM
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lo rez
post Apr 29 2012, 08:09 PM
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QUOTE(Curmudgeon @ Apr 28 2012, 09:33 AM) *
QUOTE(lo rez @ Apr 26 2012, 09:16 PM) *
Bet they'd take the font size if they used Comic Sans.

Neither Paladin Elspeth nor I were in the photograph or quoted in the article in The Detroit News that you linked to. We were however, both in the crowd.

Among the testimony that was presented was the fact that when the Michigan Constitution was drafted, movable type was set by hand, and their was felt there was no need to specify that a font had to be readable. It just needed the printer who set the type to attest to the font size before the petition was circulated. Ergo, any font deemed readable by the BOARD OF STATE CANVASSERS
would have been acceptable as long as it was in 14 point, all capitals, and certified to by a printer BEFORE the petition was circulated! It was a decision made strictly on a party line vote, and at least two members of the four member BOARD OF STATE CANVASSERS were perceived to have conflicts of interest.

Either PE or I will be starting a separate thread on this issue later today as we have time. We feel that this is a Constitutional issue, and not a political joke. We have other obligations at the moment.



I think a political party that is willing to shut down direct democracy over font size, especially when the issue kept off the ballot is practically the idea of democracy itself, deserves, at the very least, to be laughed out of office and forever denigrated in the eyes of the community.
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AuthorMusician
post Apr 29 2012, 09:09 PM
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QUOTE(lo rez @ Apr 29 2012, 04:09 PM) *
QUOTE(Curmudgeon @ Apr 28 2012, 09:33 AM) *
QUOTE(lo rez @ Apr 26 2012, 09:16 PM) *
Bet they'd take the font size if they used Comic Sans.

Neither Paladin Elspeth nor I were in the photograph or quoted in the article in The Detroit News that you linked to. We were however, both in the crowd.

Among the testimony that was presented was the fact that when the Michigan Constitution was drafted, movable type was set by hand, and their was felt there was no need to specify that a font had to be readable. It just needed the printer who set the type to attest to the font size before the petition was circulated. Ergo, any font deemed readable by the BOARD OF STATE CANVASSERS
would have been acceptable as long as it was in 14 point, all capitals, and certified to by a printer BEFORE the petition was circulated! It was a decision made strictly on a party line vote, and at least two members of the four member BOARD OF STATE CANVASSERS were perceived to have conflicts of interest.

Either PE or I will be starting a separate thread on this issue later today as we have time. We feel that this is a Constitutional issue, and not a political joke. We have other obligations at the moment.



I think a political party that is willing to shut down direct democracy over font size, especially when the issue kept off the ballot is practically the idea of democracy itself, deserves, at the very least, to be laughed out of office and forever denigrated in the eyes of the community.


Heh, I like the point about the constitutional rule going back before computers and desktop publishing, automated printing, POD and online issues of magazines and newspapers. This tells me that the conservatives in Michigan are indeed stuck in the way-back machine during the time Mark Twain went bankrupt by investing in type setting machines. Yeah, those newfangled ideas will never catch on!

Certified by a printer whose occupation went obsolete a hundred years or more ago -- must have come from a mind soaked in formaldehyde and then reanimated by that magic energy, electricity! OMG, what won't they think of next.

But really, that part of the Michigan State Constitution needs to be rethunked [sic on purpose].

This post has been edited by AuthorMusician: Apr 29 2012, 09:11 PM
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akaCG
post Apr 30 2012, 07:48 PM
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What is Elizabeth Warren's Cherokee/Delaware tribal name?

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BoF
post Apr 30 2012, 07:55 PM
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QUOTE(akaCG @ Apr 30 2012, 02:48 PM) *

Of course.

Here’s akaCG’s latest quintessential use of the joke thread as propaganda dump for the National Review.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha …

Edited to add:

If the bird had not flown away with the last laugh, this wouldn't be so funny.

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/highschool-p...-165717961.html

This post has been edited by BoF: Apr 30 2012, 10:33 PM
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akaCG
post May 2 2012, 02:22 PM
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"Hey girl, it's Paul Ryan."

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akaCG
post May 3 2012, 05:43 PM
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"The Life of Julia": "From Womb to Tomb".

Suggested musical background (from the Eurythmics album "1984: For the Love of Big Brother"): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zILzkYHeWT8

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BoF
post May 3 2012, 07:28 PM
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QUOTE(akaCG @ May 2 2012, 09:22 AM) *

Do girls love guys with zombie eyes? A "spitball" hurled at Congressman Paul Ryan.

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akaCG
post May 4 2012, 04:20 AM
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"I'm still part red [wo]man deep inside"

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akaCG
post May 6 2012, 02:42 AM
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"Martin Luther King dreamed of a day when men would be judged not on the color of their skin but on the content of their great-great-great-grandmother’s wedding-license application. And now it’s here!"

EDITED TO ADD:

"The Times When You Saw Only One Set Of Footprints Are When POTUS Carried You."

EDITED TO FIX the link to the "The Times When You Saw Only One Set Of Footprints Are When POTUS Carried You." bit just above.


This post has been edited by akaCG: May 6 2012, 02:43 AM
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akaCG
post May 7 2012, 03:27 PM
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Q:
What explains the dismally low ratings of former Democratic Governor of New York Eliot Spitzer's show (other than its being on Al Gore's CurrentTV cable channel, that is)?

A:
"Eliot Spitzer is used to paying for his audience. TV doesn’t allow that."


Bonus:

Top 21 members of Congress who resemble Muppet characters.

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akaCG
post May 9 2012, 06:49 PM
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Possible campaign slogans for Federal Inmate 11593-051, who received 40% of the votes in yesterday's Democratic Presidential primary election in West Virginia (President Obama got 60%):


"HOPE. CHANGE. FREE CARTON OF NEWPORTS"

"A chicken in every pot, and a file in every cake"

"Recommended by 2 out 3 Illinois ex-governors"

"FORWARD - single file"

"A Tunnel to the 21st Century"

"Sledgehammer-ready projects"


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lo rez
post May 9 2012, 06:59 PM
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"So humble and unassuming, he didn't even vote for himself. Also, he is not allowed to vote."
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akaCG
post May 12 2012, 03:30 AM
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What do you get when you cross the Laffer Curve with Jon Lovitz?

EDITED TO ADD:

TIME magazine cover, covering what it thinks are the important issues of our time.

vs.

TIME magazine cover, if it actually covered the important issues of our time.

EDITED TO ADD:

"Give it another year or so and that Canberra conversation will be responsible for the fire-bombing of Dresden."

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akaCG
post May 13 2012, 03:21 PM
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Government Issues Study of a Study About Studies.

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Mrs. Pigpen
post May 14 2012, 11:25 AM
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QUOTE(akaCG @ May 13 2012, 11:21 AM) *


Shouldn't this be under news that doesn't shock you.....

For some reason this reminds me of a study I read about while in college, someone was given a five year grant to find out if placing algae-eating fish in a pond would decrease the amount of algae. Shocka: It did! (of course any further exploration into the impact of those fish on other flora and fauna in the aforementioned 'ecosystem' would require subsequent grants...)

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