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> Real life headlines imitate The Onion's
akaCG
post Jun 28 2012, 01:06 AM
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First:

For those among us who are not familiar with The Onion, please familiarize yourself with it before you "play" in this thread:

Here's the Wiki article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_onion

And here's their website: http://www.theonion.com/

Second:

The purpose of this thread is for all of us to have lots of fun by posting hyperlinked real-life HEADLINES (and only headlines; i.e. no quoted excerpts and stuff) of real-life NEWS articles (not editorial/opinion/commentary/blog pieces) that are so absurd/ridiculous/uproariously humorous/etc. that they could have just as easily come from The Onion.

Third:

The subject matter of the articles/stories need not be related to politics, btw, although I wouldn't be surprised if it turns that most of them are. Kinda natural, what with this being a political debate site and all.

OK. Having taken care of the not-so-fun procedural stuff, let me start things off with ...

"Poll gives Obama edge over Romney on alien invasion"
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Raptavio
post Aug 1 2012, 04:51 PM
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4 ways Mitt Romney's foreign tour was actually a success
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akaCG
post Aug 1 2012, 05:28 PM
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A reminder, from the OP:

"... NEWS articles (not editorial/opinion/commentary/blog pieces) ..."

More challenging, no doubt. But that's part of the fun.

mrsparkle.gif
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Raptavio
post Aug 2 2012, 12:53 AM
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QUOTE(akaCG @ Aug 1 2012, 12:28 PM) *
A reminder, from the OP:

"... NEWS articles (not editorial/opinion/commentary/blog pieces) ..."

More challenging, no doubt. But that's part of the fun.

mrsparkle.gif


Oh, you're right. My bad.
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Mrs. Pigpen
post Aug 2 2012, 11:18 PM
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Thief Plays the 'Cougar' Card to Lower Prison Sentence.

blink.gif

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AuthorMusician
post Aug 3 2012, 12:32 AM
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QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ Aug 2 2012, 07:18 PM) *
Thief Plays the 'Cougar' Card to Lower Prison Sentence.

blink.gif


Here it is again! Double triple wow take, and enough disgust to fuel the city of New York for a year.
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Raptavio
post Aug 3 2012, 12:51 AM
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By way of apology, an actual news headline:

83 million Facebook accounts are fakes and dupes
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Mrs. Pigpen
post Aug 3 2012, 06:50 PM
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Lifeguard gets $2,600 bill after rescuing boy from surf.
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akaCG
post Aug 3 2012, 08:17 PM
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"Women claim 'hairy legs' profiling in new G20 lawsuit"
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Bikerdad
post Aug 3 2012, 08:19 PM
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Belarus expels Sweden's envoy after teddy bear incident.
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Bikerdad
post Aug 10 2012, 05:08 PM
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City officials pull the plug on vibrator giveaway, leaving thousands dissatisfied - NY Post

annnnnd another one:

Four bears break into cabin; drink 100 beers

This post has been edited by Bikerdad: Aug 10 2012, 08:55 PM
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Bikerdad
post Aug 13 2012, 07:59 PM
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Kangaroo escapes with help of fox and boar.
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Bikerdad
post Aug 21 2012, 05:26 PM
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Porn group: filming to halt during syphilis probe
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Bikerdad
post Aug 23 2012, 03:50 PM
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Lab tech parties with escaped monkeys

This is why they don't allow banana nog in laboratories.
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akaCG
post Aug 24 2012, 03:42 PM
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"Seven-Year-Old Wins Iceland Ram Groping Contest"
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akaCG
post Aug 26 2012, 11:26 PM
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"Man convicted of molesting a dead deer and shooting a horse to have sex with it assaulted female cop after shoplifting from Walmart"

Bonus:
This happened in Wisconsin, where The Onion was founded.

This post has been edited by akaCG: Aug 26 2012, 11:27 PM
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akaCG
post Aug 30 2012, 10:11 PM
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"Harvard Investigates "Unprecedented" Academic Dishonesty Case: Nearly half of more than 250 students in "Introduction to Congress" are under investigation"
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akaCG
post Sep 6 2012, 01:42 AM
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"Monica Lewinsky’s Former Rabbi To Deliver Benediction After Bill Clinton Speaks At DNC"
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akaCG
post Sep 12 2012, 01:14 PM
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"British-designed skyscraper resembles big pants, say angry Chinese"

From the article:
QUOTE
...
Some were more risqué with their critiques, pointing out that London’s phallus-like “Little Cucumber” — Norman Foster’s 30 St Mary Axe or Gherkin project— would fit snuggly inside Suzhou’s Gate to the East.
...

Yup. Its shape and dimensions would indeed be just about a perfect fit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/30_St_Mary_Axe
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Raptavio
post Sep 15 2012, 08:20 PM
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Rick Santorum: Conservatives Will "Never Have The Elite, Smart People On Our Side"

And this one's actually a news headline.

EDIT; fixed URL

This post has been edited by Raptavio: Sep 15 2012, 08:21 PM
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Bikerdad
post Sep 20 2012, 05:59 PM
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Confidential Study Reveals Global Finance Is One Big Guesstimate
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