Real life headlines imitate The Onion's

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Real life headlines imitate The Onion's

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akaCG View Member Profile	Jun 28 2012, 01:06 AM Post #1
Advanced Senior Contributor August 2012 Group: Sponsors Posts: 4,846 Member No.: 10,787 Joined: November-25-09 Gender: Male Politics: Conservative Party affiliation: Independent	First: For those among us who are not familiar with The Onion, please familiarize yourself with it before you "play" in this thread: Here's the Wiki article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_onion And here's their website: http://www.theonion.com/ Second: The purpose of this thread is for all of us to have lots of fun by posting hyperlinked real-life HEADLINES (and only headlines; i.e. no quoted excerpts and stuff) of real-life NEWS articles (not editorial/opinion/commentary/blog pieces) that are so absurd/ridiculous/uproariously humorous/etc. that they could have just as easily come from The Onion. Third: The subject matter of the articles/stories need not be related to politics, btw, although I wouldn't be surprised if it turns that most of them are. Kinda natural, what with this being a political debate site and all. OK. Having taken care of the not-so-fun procedural stuff, let me start things off with ... "Poll gives Obama edge over Romney on alien invasion"

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Replies (40 - 59)

Bikerdad View Member Profile	Sep 21 2012, 10:14 PM Post #41
Advanced Senior Contributor Group: Members Posts: 2,830 Member No.: 715 Joined: May-8-03 Gender: Male Politics: Undisclosed Party affiliation: Undisclosed	U.S. Postal Service asks Floridians to stop crashing into post offices

akaCG View Member Profile	Sep 22 2012, 06:06 PM Post #42
Advanced Senior Contributor August 2012 Group: Sponsors Posts: 4,846 Member No.: 10,787 Joined: November-25-09 Gender: Male Politics: Conservative Party affiliation: Independent	"Obama Lawn Sign Attacked By Deer" ps: "Republican lawn signs in the neighborhood were left untouched by the deer."

akaCG View Member Profile	Sep 27 2012, 07:10 PM Post #43
Advanced Senior Contributor August 2012 Group: Sponsors Posts: 4,846 Member No.: 10,787 Joined: November-25-09 Gender: Male Politics: Conservative Party affiliation: Independent	"Police bust ends 'free sex after nine car washes'"

Bikerdad View Member Profile	Sep 27 2012, 11:49 PM Post #44
Advanced Senior Contributor Group: Members Posts: 2,830 Member No.: 715 Joined: May-8-03 Gender: Male Politics: Undisclosed Party affiliation: Undisclosed	This one's a tough one. Does it belong here, or in "News That Isn't A Shock" Experts: Alcohol enemas 'extremely dangerous'

akaCG View Member Profile	Sep 28 2012, 10:43 PM Post #45
Advanced Senior Contributor August 2012 Group: Sponsors Posts: 4,846 Member No.: 10,787 Joined: November-25-09 Gender: Male Politics: Conservative Party affiliation: Independent	"Iran's news agency portrays satirical Onion story as its own"

Curmudgeon View Member Profile	Sep 29 2012, 04:37 AM Post #46
I am an unpaid protester! August 1, 2003 Group: Sponsors Posts: 1,192 Member No.: 729 Joined: May-14-03 From: Michigan Gender: Male Politics: Liberal Party affiliation: Democrat	QUOTE(akaCG @ Sep 22 2012, 02:06 PM) "Obama Lawn Sign Attacked By Deer" ps: "Republican lawn signs in the neighborhood were left untouched by the deer." :lol: Fascinating... Was the attack deer a registered voter with an appropriate photo ID? This post has been edited by Curmudgeon: Sep 29 2012, 04:38 AM

akaCG View Member Profile	Oct 7 2012, 08:21 PM Post #47
Advanced Senior Contributor August 2012 Group: Sponsors Posts: 4,846 Member No.: 10,787 Joined: November-25-09 Gender: Male Politics: Conservative Party affiliation: Independent	"Labor goes all Apple Maps on the female body"

lo rez View Member Profile	Oct 8 2012, 09:42 PM Post #48
Senior Contributor Group: Members Posts: 388 Member No.: 10,616 Joined: August-8-09 From: Minneapolis, MN Gender: Male Politics: Liberal Party affiliation: Independent	Title of Labor Hero Awarded to Lathe No. 26 at Pyongyang Textile Machine Factory

Bikerdad View Member Profile	Oct 9 2012, 05:30 PM Post #49
Advanced Senior Contributor Group: Members Posts: 2,830 Member No.: 715 Joined: May-8-03 Gender: Male Politics: Undisclosed Party affiliation: Undisclosed	Lovelorn millionaire sues matchmakers for 12 years of dating fails Man in a giant hamster wheel sinks on voyage across Irish Sea

akaCG View Member Profile	Oct 13 2012, 01:23 AM Post #50
Advanced Senior Contributor August 2012 Group: Sponsors Posts: 4,846 Member No.: 10,787 Joined: November-25-09 Gender: Male Politics: Conservative Party affiliation: Independent	"'Million Muppet March' planned to defend U.S. backing for PBS"

Mrs. Pigpen View Member Profile	Oct 14 2012, 01:05 PM Post #51
Carpe noctum June 2003 Group: Moderators Posts: 7,328 Member No.: 598 Joined: March-12-03 Gender: Female Politics: Slightly Conservative Party affiliation: Independent	Italy's secret anti-mob weapon: witness protection.

akaCG View Member Profile	Oct 16 2012, 09:43 PM Post #52
Advanced Senior Contributor August 2012 Group: Sponsors Posts: 4,846 Member No.: 10,787 Joined: November-25-09 Gender: Male Politics: Conservative Party affiliation: Independent	"Honey Boo Boo Wants Barack Obama to Be President"

Mrs. Pigpen View Member Profile	Oct 18 2012, 12:39 PM Post #53
Carpe noctum June 2003 Group: Moderators Posts: 7,328 Member No.: 598 Joined: March-12-03 Gender: Female Politics: Slightly Conservative Party affiliation: Independent	Taliban Demands Unbiased Coverage of Its Attempted Murder of a 14-Year-Old Girl.

akaCG View Member Profile	Oct 18 2012, 01:38 PM Post #54
Advanced Senior Contributor August 2012 Group: Sponsors Posts: 4,846 Member No.: 10,787 Joined: November-25-09 Gender: Male Politics: Conservative Party affiliation: Independent	"Jimmy Kimmel asks L.A. who won the debate hours before it aired — stumbles on group of time-travelling pundits"

Amlord View Member Profile	Oct 18 2012, 02:44 PM Post #55
The Roaring Lion Group: Moderators Posts: 5,884 Member No.: 572 Joined: March-4-03 From: Cleveland suburbs, OH Gender: Male Politics: Conservative Party affiliation: Republican	QUOTE(akaCG @ Oct 18 2012, 09:38 AM) "Jimmy Kimmel asks L.A. who won the debate hours before it aired — stumbles on group of time-travelling pundits" Yes, Romney was much stronger in next week's foreign policy debate than even I expected...

akaCG View Member Profile	Oct 18 2012, 03:52 PM Post #56
Advanced Senior Contributor August 2012 Group: Sponsors Posts: 4,846 Member No.: 10,787 Joined: November-25-09 Gender: Male Politics: Conservative Party affiliation: Independent	QUOTE(Amlord @ Oct 18 2012, 10:44 AM) QUOTE(akaCG @ Oct 18 2012, 09:38 AM) "Jimmy Kimmel asks L.A. who won the debate hours before it aired — stumbles on group of time-travelling pundits" Yes, Romney was much stronger in next week's foreign policy debate than even I expected... ps: "We don't allow faster than light neutrinos in here," said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar.

Mrs. Pigpen View Member Profile	Oct 19 2012, 03:02 PM Post #57
Carpe noctum June 2003 Group: Moderators Posts: 7,328 Member No.: 598 Joined: March-12-03 Gender: Female Politics: Slightly Conservative Party affiliation: Independent	North Korea threatens South over propaganda balloons.

AuthorMusician View Member Profile	Oct 19 2012, 03:25 PM Post #58
Glasses and journalism work for me. November 2003 Group: Sponsors Posts: 6,351 Member No.: 297 Joined: December-1-02 From: Blueberry Hill Gender: Male Politics: Liberal Party affiliation: Democrat	QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ Oct 18 2012, 08:39 AM) Taliban Demands Unbiased Coverage of Its Attempted Murder of a 14-Year-Old Girl. Now that story is truly Onion-worthy. How dare anyone bad mouth terrorists who shoot school girls, and where is the sense of fair play? Equal time folks, equal time. Terrorists are merely misunderstood hoodlums and murderers. We need to give them the love, right between their eyes.

Bikerdad View Member Profile	Oct 26 2012, 06:01 AM Post #59
Advanced Senior Contributor Group: Members Posts: 2,830 Member No.: 715 Joined: May-8-03 Gender: Male Politics: Undisclosed Party affiliation: Undisclosed	Suspect in burglary sues homeowner who shot him

Bikerdad View Member Profile	Oct 30 2012, 10:51 PM Post #60
Advanced Senior Contributor Group: Members Posts: 2,830 Member No.: 715 Joined: May-8-03 Gender: Male Politics: Undisclosed Party affiliation: Undisclosed	Obama: "We leave nobody behind." Ambassador Stevens could not be reached for comment.

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