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America's Debate _ Casual Conversation _ Real life headlines imitate The Onion's

Posted by: akaCG Jun 28 2012, 01:06 AM

First:

For those among us who are not familiar with The Onion, please familiarize yourself with it before you "play" in this thread:

Here's the Wiki article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_onion

And here's their website: http://www.theonion.com/

Second:

The purpose of this thread is for all of us to have lots of fun by posting hyperlinked real-life HEADLINES (and only headlines; i.e. no quoted excerpts and stuff) of real-life NEWS articles (not editorial/opinion/commentary/blog pieces) that are so absurd/ridiculous/uproariously humorous/etc. that they could have just as easily come from The Onion.

Third:

The subject matter of the articles/stories need not be related to politics, btw, although I wouldn't be surprised if it turns that most of them are. Kinda natural, what with this being a political debate site and all.

OK. Having taken care of the not-so-fun procedural stuff, let me start things off with ...

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/tv/showtracker/la-et-st-obama-alien-invasion-20120627,0,6297016.story




Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Jun 28 2012, 05:46 PM

http://www.stripes.com/news/n-korea-blasts-use-of-its-flag-in-us-s-korea-exercise-1.181257

In case it isn't readily apparent why this belongs in the Onion: http://www.gizmodo.com.au/2011/07/the-most-insane-north-korea-propaganda/.

Posted by: Curmudgeon Jun 28 2012, 11:39 PM

http://www.alan.com/2012/06/28/rand-paul-its-not-constitutional-just-because-the-supreme-court-says-so/

Posted by: akaCG Jun 29 2012, 01:37 AM

QUOTE(Curmudgeon @ Jun 28 2012, 07:39 PM) *
http://www.alan.com/2012/06/28/rand-paul-its-not-constitutional-just-because-the-supreme-court-says-so/

That's an "http://www.americasdebate.com/forums/index.php?s=&showtopic=21845&view=findpost&p=100008959", not a NEWS story.

FAIL.

Try again.


Posted by: Curmudgeon Jun 29 2012, 04:17 AM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Jun 28 2012, 09:37 PM) *
QUOTE(Curmudgeon @ Jun 28 2012, 07:39 PM) *
http://www.alan.com/2012/06/28/rand-paul-its-not-constitutional-just-because-the-supreme-court-says-so/

That's an "http://www.americasdebate.com/forums/index.php?s=&showtopic=21845&view=findpost&p=100008959", not a NEWS story.

FAIL.

Try again.

QUOTE
The purpose of this thread is for all of us to have lots of fun by posting hyperlinked real-life HEADLINES (and only headlines; i.e. no quoted excerpts and stuff) of real-life NEWS articles (not editorial/opinion/commentary/blog pieces) that are so absurd/ridiculous/uproariously humorous/etc. that they could have just as easily come from The Onion.


I thought this was a conversation and not a PASS/FAIL test to see if I could remain employed!

I heard the quotation on the television behind me and did a search for:
QUOTE
Rand Paul: It's Not Constitutional Just Because The Supreme Court Says So

The search returned 15,500,000 results. As you did not want us to quote excerpts, etc., I presumed that you wanted a straightforward one line unexplained link such as you usually post. Therefore I did not bother to search, read, and edit revery link on the Internet! If you think I intend to read through that many articles to find an article that meets your criteria, you have a very inflated opinion of my need to please your ego... I am certain that when I see the same article, headline, etc. repeated that many times that the idiot actually said "Just because a couple people on the Supreme Court declare something to be 'constitutional' does not make it so." http://paul.senate.gov/?p=press_release&id=562

OOPS! I researched it, found other links, quoted excerpts. Yep! I really am failing this stupid class teacher. Now why don't you take a beer to the teachers lounge and go on strike!

Posted by: BoF Jun 29 2012, 05:53 AM

QUOTE(Curmudgeon @ Jun 28 2012, 11:17 PM) *
QUOTE(akaCG @ Jun 28 2012, 09:37 PM) *
QUOTE(Curmudgeon @ Jun 28 2012, 07:39 PM) *
http://www.alan.com/2012/06/28/rand-paul-its-not-constitutional-just-because-the-supreme-court-says-so/

That's an "http://www.americasdebate.com/forums/index.php?s=&showtopic=21845&view=findpost&p=100008959", not a NEWS story.

FAIL.

Try again.

QUOTE
The purpose of this thread is for all of us to have lots of fun by posting hyperlinked real-life HEADLINES (and only headlines; i.e. no quoted excerpts and stuff) of real-life NEWS articles (not editorial/opinion/commentary/blog pieces) that are so absurd/ridiculous/uproariously humorous/etc. that they could have just as easily come from The Onion.


I thought this was a conversation and not a PASS/FAIL test to see if I could remain employed!

I heard the quotation on the television behind me and did a search for:
QUOTE
Rand Paul: It's Not Constitutional Just Because The Supreme Court Says So

The search returned 15,500,000 results. As you did not want us to quote excerpts, etc., I presumed that you wanted a straightforward one line unexplained link such as you usually post. Therefore I did not bother to search, read, and edit revery link on the Internet! If you think I intend to read through that many articles to find an article that meets your criteria, you have a very inflated opinion of my need to please your ego... I am certain that when I see the same article, headline, etc. repeated that many times that the idiot actually said "Just because a couple people on the Supreme Court declare something to be 'constitutional' does not make it so." http://paul.senate.gov/?p=press_release&id=562

OOPS! I researched it, found other links, quoted excerpts. Yep! I really am failing this stupid class teacher. Now why don't you take a beer to the teachers lounge and go on strike!

It's not hard to see the author taking his own thread down the crapper fairly soon.


Posted by: Curmudgeon Jun 29 2012, 07:18 AM

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/28/cnn-supreme-court-health-care-individual-mandate_n_1633950.html

My apologies to Rand Paul, perhaps he really thought the Supreme Court ruling was 7-2 against and not 5-4 in favor. (I did not hear that it had been misreported until circa 3:00 AM.)

My apologies also to akaCG amd other readers of this thread. I've been around long enough to know http://www.americasdebate.com/?page=rules#prohibited_items.

QUOTE(Rules: B II.)
Personal attacks, name-calling, or belittling another member. This includes telling other members to shut up or be quiet, as well as telling other members they are not qualified to post their opinions.

I took akaCG's remarks as a personal attack, and I should simply have reported them as such.

I've put in my time on the picket line... Time to switch from coffee, kick back, and think about having a beer. beer.gif

I'll check back for new posts when the cat comes home... beer.gif beer.gif beer.gif alien.gif hmmm.gif

N.B. Note to self... Tell Mitt Romney to switch channels for confirmation before he orders a nuclear attack on the San Andreas Fault to fight the previously mentioned alien invasion...

Posted by: akaCG Jun 30 2012, 06:51 PM

http://www.wivb.com/dpps/news/offbeat/inmates-to-test-new-locks-at-atlanta-jail-ob12-jgr_4213095


Posted by: akaCG Jul 4 2012, 10:20 AM

http://michiganradio.org/post/revitalizing-detroit-consider-zombies


Posted by: akaCG Jul 7 2012, 12:34 PM

http://updatednews.ca/2012/07/06/university-sues-student-for-graduating-too-quickly/


Posted by: Raptavio Jul 11 2012, 11:44 PM

http://euterpe-1641499.newsvine.com/_news/2012/06/23/12372898-bachmann-muslim-brotherhood-has-penetrated-the-us-government

Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Jul 12 2012, 11:34 PM

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/fifty-shades-grey-steak-sauce-assault-171428353.html

blink.gif

Edited to add: As a side note, I can't imagine what they were arguing over? Why can't you be a 27 year old drop dead gorgeous self-made billionaire who would inexplicably like me (excuse me, someone similar to me) and buy me lots of expensive stuff, even if I have the personality of a brown paper bag, and no discernible talent or intelligence?
(you have to read the book to "get it"...puts the c in craptastic, in my estimation, though I am elated that someone with such marginal writing ability could make a best-seller, gives me hope for my book...if I can ever finish it)

Posted by: AuthorMusician Jul 13 2012, 01:51 PM

QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ Jul 12 2012, 07:34 PM) *
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/fifty-shades-grey-steak-sauce-assault-171428353.html

blink.gif

Edited to add: As a side note, I can't imagine what they were arguing over? Why can't you be a 27 year old drop dead gorgeous self-made billionaire who would inexplicably like me (excuse me, someone similar to me) and buy me lots of expensive stuff, even if I have the personality of a brown paper bag, and no discernible talent or intelligence?
(you have to read the book to "get it"...puts the c in craptastic, in my estimation, though I am elated that someone with such marginal writing ability could make a best-seller, gives me hope for my book...if I can ever finish it)


Hilarious and appropriate. Have a little sauce with that piece of meat, eh? SNL did a good lampoon of the pornography masked as literature, ah, I mean the romance genre: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW-4Fn-d9OY

Admittedly, it does sell well. So does crack and meth.

Posted by: akaCG Jul 13 2012, 06:16 PM

http://www.newser.com/story/149955/town-assigns-easy-parking-spots-to-women.html


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Jul 13 2012, 06:23 PM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Jul 13 2012, 02:16 PM) *
http://www.newser.com/story/149955/town-assigns-easy-parking-spots-to-women.html


That's genius! laugh.gif

Posted by: akaCG Jul 15 2012, 03:13 AM

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20120714/DA00PDC02.html


Posted by: AuthorMusician Jul 16 2012, 09:11 PM

QUOTE(AuthorMusician @ Jul 13 2012, 09:51 AM) *
QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ Jul 12 2012, 07:34 PM) *
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/fifty-shades-grey-steak-sauce-assault-171428353.html

blink.gif

Edited to add: As a side note, I can't imagine what they were arguing over? Why can't you be a 27 year old drop dead gorgeous self-made billionaire who would inexplicably like me (excuse me, someone similar to me) and buy me lots of expensive stuff, even if I have the personality of a brown paper bag, and no discernible talent or intelligence?
(you have to read the book to "get it"...puts the c in craptastic, in my estimation, though I am elated that someone with such marginal writing ability could make a best-seller, gives me hope for my book...if I can ever finish it)


Hilarious and appropriate. Have a little sauce with that piece of meat, eh? SNL did a good lampoon of the pornography masked as literature, ah, I mean the romance genre: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW-4Fn-d9OY

Admittedly, it does sell well. So does crack and meth.


Here's the voice of Duke Nukem reading from Fifty Shades:

http://digg.com/newsbar/topnews/duke_nukem_reads_fifty_shades_of_grey

Not a headline, but comedians are having great fun with this trilogy.

Posted by: akaCG Jul 27 2012, 01:33 AM

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/pizza-robbery-slice-payment-578123


Posted by: Curmudgeon Jul 27 2012, 02:19 AM

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/breitbart-blogger-falsely-accuses-james-holmes-democrat-352595

Posted by: akaCG Jul 31 2012, 12:38 AM

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/man-hand-bitten-gator-charged-feeding-article-1.1124439


Posted by: Raptavio Aug 1 2012, 04:51 PM

http://theweek.com/article/index/231300/4-ways-mitt-romneys-foreign-tour-was-actually-a-success

Posted by: akaCG Aug 1 2012, 05:28 PM

A reminder, from the OP:

"... NEWS articles (not editorial/opinion/commentary/blog pieces) ..."

More challenging, no doubt. But that's part of the fun.

mrsparkle.gif


Posted by: Raptavio Aug 2 2012, 12:53 AM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Aug 1 2012, 12:28 PM) *
A reminder, from the OP:

"... NEWS articles (not editorial/opinion/commentary/blog pieces) ..."

More challenging, no doubt. But that's part of the fun.

mrsparkle.gif


Oh, you're right. My bad.

Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Aug 2 2012, 11:18 PM

http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/1-7m-thief-plays-cougar-card-lower-prison-120156279--abc-news-topstories.html.

blink.gif


Posted by: AuthorMusician Aug 3 2012, 12:32 AM

QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ Aug 2 2012, 07:18 PM) *
http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/1-7m-thief-plays-cougar-card-lower-prison-120156279--abc-news-topstories.html.

blink.gif


Here it is again! Double triple wow take, and enough disgust to fuel the city of New York for a year.

Posted by: Raptavio Aug 3 2012, 12:51 AM

By way of apology, an actual news headline:

http://www.cnn.com/2012/08/02/tech/social-media/facebook-fake-accounts/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Aug 3 2012, 06:50 PM

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/lifeguard-gets-2-600-bill-rescuing-boy-surf-130832240.html.


Posted by: akaCG Aug 3 2012, 08:17 PM

http://toronto.ctvnews.ca/women-claim-hairy-legs-profiling-in-new-g20-lawsuit-1.899456


Posted by: Bikerdad Aug 3 2012, 08:19 PM

http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5jtHdpkLISOfR7QY2SK6JyNzQ9LtQ?docId=CNG.609d35a1b6918562d4a9e90f12ffcf90.951

Posted by: Bikerdad Aug 10 2012, 05:08 PM

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/city_kos_good_vibrations_Rtc8Up7hrIGqlC63E3J1fK

annnnnd another one:

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/family-four-bears-breaks-cabin-drink-100-beers-181034427.html

Posted by: Bikerdad Aug 13 2012, 07:59 PM

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/aug/13/kangaroo-escapes-fox-boar-germany

Posted by: Bikerdad Aug 21 2012, 05:26 PM

http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=752063

Posted by: Bikerdad Aug 23 2012, 03:50 PM

http://www.clickorlando.com/news/Lab-tech-parties-with-escaped-monkeys/-/1637132/16224040/-/format/rss_2.0/-/12ybs92z/-/index.html

This is why they don't allow banana nog in laboratories.

Posted by: akaCG Aug 24 2012, 03:42 PM

http://www.icelandreview.com/icelandreview/daily_news/Seven_Year_Old_Wins_Iceland_Ram_Groping_Contest_0_392724.news.aspx


Posted by: akaCG Aug 26 2012, 11:26 PM

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2193333/Man-convicted-molesting-dead-deer-shooting-horse-sex-assaulted-female-cop-shoplifting-Walmart.html

Bonus:
This happened in Wisconsin, where The Onion was founded.

Posted by: akaCG Aug 30 2012, 10:11 PM

http://www.thecrimson.com/article/2012/8/30/academic-dishonesty-ad-board/


Posted by: akaCG Sep 6 2012, 01:42 AM

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2012/09/monica-lewinskys-former-rabbi-to-deliver-benediction-after-bill-clinton-speaks-at-dnc/


Posted by: akaCG Sep 12 2012, 01:14 PM

"http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/9520245/British-designed-skyscraper-resembles-big-pants-say-angry-Chinese.html"

From the article:

QUOTE
...
Some were more risqué with their critiques, pointing out that London’s phallus-like “Little Cucumber” — Norman Foster’s 30 St Mary Axe or Gherkin project— would fit snuggly inside Suzhou’s Gate to the East.
...

Yup. Its shape and dimensions would indeed be just about a perfect fit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/30_St_Mary_Axe


Posted by: Raptavio Sep 15 2012, 08:20 PM

http://www.buzzfeed.com/rosiegray/rick-santorum-says-smart-people-will-never-be-on

And this one's actually a news headline.

EDIT; fixed URL

Posted by: Bikerdad Sep 20 2012, 05:59 PM

http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2012/09/study-global-finance-is-one-big-guesstimate.html?mid=google&google_editors_picks=true

Posted by: Bikerdad Sep 21 2012, 10:14 PM

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/u-postal-asking-floridians-stop-crashing-post-offices-213551323.html

Posted by: akaCG Sep 22 2012, 06:06 PM

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/21/lawn-sign-deer-attack-obama_n_1904722.html?utm_hp_ref=elections-2012

ps:
"Republican lawn signs in the neighborhood were left untouched by the deer." laugh.gif


Posted by: akaCG Sep 27 2012, 07:10 PM

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/driveon/post/2012/09/police-bust-ends-free-sex-after-nine-car-washes/1?morestories=obnetwork#.UGJXno1lQgd


Posted by: Bikerdad Sep 27 2012, 11:49 PM

This one's a tough one. Does it belong here, or in "News That Isn't A Shock" question.gif

http://www.cnn.com/2012/09/26/health/alcohol-enemas/

Posted by: akaCG Sep 28 2012, 10:43 PM

http://www.cnn.com/2012/09/28/world/iran-news-agency-duped/index.html


Posted by: Curmudgeon Sep 29 2012, 04:37 AM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Sep 22 2012, 02:06 PM) *
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/21/lawn-sign-deer-attack-obama_n_1904722.html?utm_hp_ref=elections-2012

ps:
"Republican lawn signs in the neighborhood were left untouched by the deer." :lol:

Fascinating... Was the attack deer a registered voter with an appropriate photo ID?

Posted by: akaCG Oct 7 2012, 08:21 PM

http://www.news.com.au/national/labor-goes-all-apple-maps-on-the-female-body/story-fndo4eg9-1226487346103


Posted by: lo rez Oct 8 2012, 09:42 PM

http://www.kcna.co.jp/item/2012/201210/news04/20121004-33ee.html

Posted by: Bikerdad Oct 9 2012, 05:30 PM

http://now.msn.com/larry-greenfield-sues-matchmaking-agencies-for-failed-love-life

rolleyes.gif

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/914455-man-in-a-giant-hamster-wheel-sinks-on-voyage-across-irish-sea#ixzz28p9XRwW9

Posted by: akaCG Oct 13 2012, 01:23 AM

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/10/12/entertainment-us-usa-campaign-muppets-idUSBRE89B1E020121012


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Oct 14 2012, 01:05 PM

http://news.yahoo.com/italys-secret-anti-mob-weapon-witness-protection-110156636.html.


Posted by: akaCG Oct 16 2012, 09:43 PM

http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2012/10/16/honey-boo-boo-wants-barack-obama-to-be-president-boo-boo-for-bo


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Oct 18 2012, 12:39 PM


http://news.yahoo.com/taliban-demands-unbiased-coverage-attempted-murder-14-old-190221609.html.


Posted by: akaCG Oct 18 2012, 01:38 PM

http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/10/17/jimmy-kimmel-stumbles-on-time-travelling-pundits-after-asking-people-who-won-the-debate-hours-before-it-aired/


Posted by: Amlord Oct 18 2012, 02:44 PM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Oct 18 2012, 09:38 AM) *
http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/10/17/jimmy-kimmel-stumbles-on-time-travelling-pundits-after-asking-people-who-won-the-debate-hours-before-it-aired/

Yes, Romney was much stronger in next week's foreign policy debate than even I expected...

Posted by: akaCG Oct 18 2012, 03:52 PM

QUOTE(Amlord @ Oct 18 2012, 10:44 AM) *
QUOTE(akaCG @ Oct 18 2012, 09:38 AM) *
http://news.nationalpost.com/2012/10/17/jimmy-kimmel-stumbles-on-time-travelling-pundits-after-asking-people-who-won-the-debate-hours-before-it-aired/

Yes, Romney was much stronger in next week's foreign policy debate than even I expected...

laugh.gif

ps:

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/nationnow/2011/09/faster-than-the-speed-of-light-neutrino-jokes-light-up-twittersphere.html


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Oct 19 2012, 03:02 PM

http://news.yahoo.com/north-korea-says-fire-south-leaflets-dropped-052751567.html.


Posted by: AuthorMusician Oct 19 2012, 03:25 PM

QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ Oct 18 2012, 08:39 AM) *
http://news.yahoo.com/taliban-demands-unbiased-coverage-attempted-murder-14-old-190221609.html.


Now that story is truly Onion-worthy. How dare anyone bad mouth terrorists who shoot school girls, and where is the sense of fair play? Equal time folks, equal time.

Terrorists are merely misunderstood hoodlums and murderers. We need to give them the love, right between their eyes.


Posted by: Bikerdad Oct 26 2012, 06:01 AM

http://www.10tv.com/content/stories/apexchange/2012/10/24/us--burglar-shot-lawsuit.html

Posted by: Bikerdad Oct 30 2012, 10:51 PM

http://www.businessweek.com/videos/2012-10-30/obama-we-leave-nobody-behind

Ambassador Stevens could not be reached for comment.

Posted by: Paladin Elspeth Oct 30 2012, 11:14 PM

QUOTE(Bikerdad @ Oct 30 2012, 06:51 PM) *
http://www.businessweek.com/videos/2012-10-30/obama-we-leave-nobody-behind

Ambassador Stevens could not be reached for comment.

President Obama was at Andrews Air Force base when the body of Ambassador Stevens arrived. The context of your headline comes from a speech President Obama made to the Red Cross.

How tasteful of you.

Posted by: Curmudgeon Oct 31 2012, 12:32 AM

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/ex-fema-director-michael-brown-criticizes-obama-reacting-202803013.html

QUOTE
"Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job" was named on Thursday as U.S. President George W. Bush's most memorable phrase of 2005. ( http://www.commondreams.org/headlines05/1230-01.htm )

Posted by: akaCG Nov 2 2012, 05:23 PM

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1112/83159.html


Posted by: Bikerdad Nov 2 2012, 07:33 PM

http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/biden-theres-never-been-day-last-four-years-ive-been-proud-be-his-vice-president_660130.html

oopsie.

Posted by: AuthorMusician Nov 2 2012, 07:51 PM

QUOTE(Curmudgeon @ Oct 30 2012, 08:32 PM) *
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/ex-fema-director-michael-brown-criticizes-obama-reacting-202803013.html
QUOTE
"Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job" was named on Thursday as U.S. President George W. Bush's most memorable phrase of 2005. ( http://www.commondreams.org/headlines05/1230-01.htm )



Wow, that story reads exactly like an Onion lampoon. Now he's a talk radio guy! People have to be wondering why.

Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Nov 5 2012, 03:54 PM

http://tundratabloids.com/2012/11/german-former-neo-nazi-who-fought-for-the-taliban-now-has-buyers-remorse.html.


Posted by: Curmudgeon Nov 6 2012, 12:36 AM

PE was complaining that she was looking for something on http://www.beliefnet.com/and was overwhelmed by ads for a political candidate whose campaign seems to be willing to pay for even a prayer of a chance...

We started to discuss whether or not it represented a legal conflict, and she pointed out that as it was a dot-com, ergo it was likely a commercial venture and not a religous organization. So, for curiosity, I clicked on it and found myself at a page with a fascinating legal disclaimer:

QUOTE
Warning: Belief-O-Matic™ assumes no legal liability for the ultimate fate of your soul.

Posted by: akaCG Nov 6 2012, 10:42 PM

http://bocanewsnow.com/2012/11/06/woman-wearing-mit-shirt-banned-from-voting-in-boca-raton/


Posted by: lo rez Nov 7 2012, 08:55 PM

http://www.salon.com/2012/11/07/fema_disaster_center_shuttered_due_to_weather/

Posted by: akaCG Nov 9 2012, 01:35 PM

http://tampa.cbslocal.com/2012/11/07/police-robbery-thwarted-after-chinese-restaurant-workers-fail-to-understand-demands/


Posted by: Bikerdad Nov 15 2012, 01:53 AM

http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2012/11/13/garofalo-unaware-25-year-marriage

Some things REALLY stay in Vegas!

btw, there's a lesson here guys: don't drink too much in Vegas, you might end up married to somebody like Garofalo and not even know it....

Posted by: Raptavio Nov 15 2012, 04:18 AM

http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2012/11/georgia-senate-gets-52-minute-briefing-united-nations-takeover

Posted by: AuthorMusician Nov 15 2012, 03:07 PM

QUOTE(Bikerdad @ Nov 14 2012, 09:53 PM) *
http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2012/11/13/garofalo-unaware-25-year-marriage

Some things REALLY stay in Vegas!

btw, there's a lesson here guys: don't drink too much in Vegas, you might end up married to somebody like Garofalo and not even know it....


The real humor in this story is how insanely stupid the laws about marriage are in Nevada. You can get married at a drive-in chapel from a cab? Nothing has to be signed? Aha! There's where same-sex marriage can happen!

New Onion headline: Nevada Cheapens Traditional Marriage, and Nobody Cares

Posted by: Curmudgeon Nov 15 2012, 04:26 PM

QUOTE(Bikerdad @ Nov 14 2012, 08:53 PM) *
http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2012/11/13/garofalo-unaware-25-year-marriage

Some things REALLY stay in Vegas!

btw, there's a lesson here guys: don't drink too much in Vegas, you might end up married to somebody like Garofalo and not even know it....

That reminded me: I had a bachelor co-worker who was known for such non-pragmatic actions in his personal life as leaning a ladder against a tree branch, and then cutting off the branch.

When I asked if he had ever been married, he told me:
QUOTE(former co-worker)
I don't know. I flew to Las Vegas on vacation once and sat next to a young woman. We drank all the way there, and the next day we woke up in the same hotel room with wedding rings on. She looked at me and said, "I came here to get a divorce."

He did mention that he had to hire an attorney who told him the cost of an annullment in Las Vegas was more expensive than the cost of a divorce...

Posted by: Bikerdad Nov 15 2012, 05:58 PM

QUOTE(AuthorMusician @ Nov 15 2012, 10:07 AM) *
QUOTE(Bikerdad @ Nov 14 2012, 09:53 PM) *
http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2012/11/13/garofalo-unaware-25-year-marriage

Some things REALLY stay in Vegas!

btw, there's a lesson here guys: don't drink too much in Vegas, you might end up married to somebody like Garofalo and not even know it....


The real humor in this story is how insanely stupid the laws about marriage are in Nevada. You can get married at a drive-in chapel from a cab? Nothing has to be signed? Aha! There's where same-sex marriage can happen!
Nope. Nevada's voters amended their Constitution to "marriage = one man + one woman, only". And it is slightly more challenging than you represent. A marriage license must be signed by the couple and by the officiating individual, after the license is secured from the marriage license office (bureau?) at the county clerk's office. You can also get married in mid-air, surrounded by the Flying Elvi if you have the stones and the dough to do it.

What does it matter whether you're in a cab, church, temple, mosque, bar, or dangling under a parachute? And why should the government care?

QUOTE
New Onion headline: Nevada Cheapens Traditional Marriage, and Nobody Cares
That's such old news that most folks don't remember how many people would run off to Reno to get a divorce. Admittedly, I never understood why folks would go to Vegas to get married, yet go to Reno for a divorce, but that's the way it was. "Quickie" divorces, Reno style. Of course, the "no-fault divorce" revolution cut the legs out from under the Reno divorce industry.

Posted by: AuthorMusician Nov 16 2012, 02:39 AM

QUOTE(Bikerdad @ Nov 15 2012, 01:58 PM) *
QUOTE(AuthorMusician @ Nov 15 2012, 10:07 AM) *
QUOTE(Bikerdad @ Nov 14 2012, 09:53 PM) *
http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2012/11/13/garofalo-unaware-25-year-marriage

Some things REALLY stay in Vegas!

btw, there's a lesson here guys: don't drink too much in Vegas, you might end up married to somebody like Garofalo and not even know it....


The real humor in this story is how insanely stupid the laws about marriage are in Nevada. You can get married at a drive-in chapel from a cab? Nothing has to be signed? Aha! There's where same-sex marriage can happen!
Nope. Nevada's voters amended their Constitution to "marriage = one man + one woman, only". And it is slightly more challenging than you represent. A marriage license must be signed by the couple and by the officiating individual, after the license is secured from the marriage license office (bureau?) at the county clerk's office. You can also get married in mid-air, surrounded by the Flying Elvi if you have the stones and the dough to do it.

What does it matter whether you're in a cab, church, temple, mosque, bar, or dangling under a parachute? And why should the government care?

QUOTE
New Onion headline: Nevada Cheapens Traditional Marriage, and Nobody Cares
That's such old news that most folks don't remember how many people would run off to Reno to get a divorce. Admittedly, I never understood why folks would go to Vegas to get married, yet go to Reno for a divorce, but that's the way it was. "Quickie" divorces, Reno style. Of course, the "no-fault divorce" revolution cut the legs out from under the Reno divorce industry.


It is really old news, as was B's take on it. Nevertheless, B's headline was not an Onion. I suggested one that actually fits.

But that's not surprising, is it? You think that anything that makes a vocal activist look bad is Onion material. It is not.

Meanwhile, Nevada has walked all over the institution of marriage, and nobody noticed.

Kinda makes the whole argument moot, eh?

Posted by: Curmudgeon Nov 16 2012, 03:01 AM

QUOTE(Bikerdad @ Nov 15 2012, 12:58 PM) *
What does it matter whether you're in a cab, church, temple, mosque, bar, or dangling under a parachute? And why should the government care?

op cit. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jumping_the_broomstick, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-law_marriage_in_the_United_States
The government cares because when a man and a woman marry, it is quite common for the marriage to create children. Someone has to be responsible for feeding, clothing, and educating those children. When couples divorce, someone has to be responsible to continue to care for the children. It is not in the best interest of the state for property settlements from a divorce to be settled by who is faster on the draw and has a better aim. The churches used to keep such records (Priests were trained to read and write.), and that is why they became involved in performing the ceremony. Performing the ceremony in the church likely facilitated things more for the priest than for the couple. (I am recalling a marriage ceremony where a forty foot tall painting of Jesus split in half to allow the priest to make his grand entrance or exit and loudly slammed back together after he had stepped through the opening.)

The http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reverend_Moonused to perform multiple marriages at the same time.

My personal belief is that marriage does not consist of the ceremony alone, or the ritual. Marriage is ultimately a relationship that develops over a period of time between the individuals. I would not care to live in the marriage that my parents had. My first wife's parents considered themselves married thirty years after her father moved to a city 150 miles away and only came home once a year to sign the joint income tax return. I wanted to talk to the man across the street a few days ago, and I knocked on his front door. His wife told me, "Knock on the garage window. That's where he lives." I made no comment, and I walked toward the garage where the door opened as I approached...

Posted by: Bikerdad Nov 16 2012, 07:35 AM

QUOTE(Curmudgeon @ Nov 15 2012, 10:01 PM) *
QUOTE(Bikerdad @ Nov 15 2012, 12:58 PM) *
What does it matter whether you're in a cab, church, temple, mosque, bar, or dangling under a parachute? And why should the government care?

op cit. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jumping_the_broomstick, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-law_marriage_in_the_United_States" target="_blank">Common-law marriage in the United States
</a>
The government cares because when a man and a woman marry, it is quite common for the marriage to create children.
Curmudgeon, my apologies. What I was referring to was the LOCATION of the ceremony, in response to AM's apparent issues with a a cab at a drive-up chapel being the venue. flowers.gif

Posted by: akaCG Nov 17 2012, 10:19 PM

http://blog.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2012/11/16/taliban_accidentally_ccs_everybody_on_its_mailing_list


Posted by: Aquilla Nov 19 2012, 06:35 AM

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_NUDITY_BAN?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2012-11-18-15-45-34

QUOTE
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- San Francisco may be getting ready to shed its image as a city where anything goes, including clothing.

City lawmakers are scheduled to vote Tuesday on an ordinance that would prohibit nudity in most public places, a blanket ban that represents an escalation of a two-year tiff between a devoted group of men who strut their stuff through the city's famously gay Castro District and the supervisor who represents the area.

Supervisor Scott Wiener's proposal would make it illegal for a person over the age of 5 to "expose his or her genitals, perineum or anal region on any public street, sidewalk, street median, parklet or plaza" or while using public transit.



Gotta love San Francisco....... I wonder how they'll vote on the Wiener ban..... hmmm.gif


Aquilla

Posted by: akaCG Nov 24 2012, 10:29 PM

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2236797/German-lawyer-claims-38DD-girlfriend-tried-smother-death-breasts.html?ito=feeds-newsxml


Posted by: Bikerdad Nov 26 2012, 09:29 PM

http://gawker.com/5941037

Posted by: CruisingRam Nov 28 2012, 02:16 PM

http://blogs.wsj.com/scene/2012/11/28/peoples-daily-quotes-the-onion-kim-jong-eun-sexiest-man-alive/

Poeples Daily of north Korea doesn't realize Onion is making fun of the dear leader.

Posted by: Aquilla Nov 30 2012, 06:50 PM

More from our friends in the DPRK...

http://www.kcna.co.jp/index-e.htm

They're not making this stuff up folks! They even have drawings of this critter....

http://navercast.naver.com/contents.nhn?contents_id=7922&path=%7C458%7C539%7C&leafId=806

Gotta love those people... wub.gif

Aquilla

Posted by: akaCG Dec 8 2012, 03:10 AM

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/middle-east/meet-operative-pp0277-a-secret-agent--or-just-a-vulture-hungry-for-dead-camel-8393578.html


Posted by: akaCG Dec 13 2012, 03:43 PM

http://rt.com/news/rocket-m75-perfume-gaza-809/


Posted by: Bikerdad Dec 14 2012, 05:40 AM

http://lasvegas.cbslocal.com/2012/12/12/border-patrol-smugglers-use-cannon-to-launch-cans-of-marijuana-into-us/



Posted by: Aquilla Dec 14 2012, 06:40 AM

QUOTE(Bikerdad @ Dec 13 2012, 11:40 PM) *
http://lasvegas.cbslocal.com/2012/12/12/border-patrol-smugglers-use-cannon-to-launch-cans-of-marijuana-into-us/



Perhaps the smugglers received technical help http://www.spudtech.com/. Thisd takes food fights to a whole new level. laugh.gif


Aquilla

Posted by: Bikerdad Dec 17 2012, 01:02 AM

Viewing online pornography 'can make you lose your memory'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2248923/Watching-internet-porn-cause-memory-loss.html#ixzz2FGb2MWd8
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Posted by: Bikerdad Dec 19 2012, 02:11 AM

http://www.presstv.ir/detail/2012/12/18/278706/israeli-squads-tied-to-newtown-carnage/

sour.gif

Posted by: Bikerdad Jan 3 2013, 12:08 AM

Aaaannd another one:

http://mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/01/02/al-jazeera-said-to-be-acquiring-current-tv/?smid=tw-share

QUOTE
Al Jazeera on Wednesday completed a deal to take over Current TV, the low-rated cable channel that was founded by Al Gore and his business partners seven years ago.


That's Al Jazeera, funded by gobs and gobs of oil money. Putting lotsa money into the pocket of the anthropogenic global warming alarmist, Al Gore.

Posted by: Bikerdad Jan 25 2013, 09:19 PM

From The Atlantic : http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2013/01/do-not-try-to-recreate-this-16th-century-german-cat-bomb-at-home/272458/

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/austria/9820517/Lego-accused-of-racism-with-Star-Wars-set.html Yes folks, Jabba the Hut's crib is racist!

Posted by: Ringwraith Jan 25 2013, 09:40 PM

QUOTE(Bikerdad @ Dec 16 2012, 08:02 PM) *
Viewing online pornography 'can make you lose your memory'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2248923/Watching-internet-porn-cause-memory-loss.html#ixzz2FGb2MWd8
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook


This explains why men always forget birthdays, anniversary's and Valentines Day!

Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Jan 26 2013, 12:14 PM

QUOTE(Ringwraith @ Jan 25 2013, 04:40 PM) *
QUOTE(Bikerdad @ Dec 16 2012, 08:02 PM) *
Viewing online pornography 'can make you lose your memory'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2248923/Watching-internet-porn-cause-memory-loss.html#ixzz2FGb2MWd8
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook


This explains why men always forget birthdays, anniversary's and Valentines Day!


laugh.gif It does explain a lot!

Posted by: Curmudgeon Feb 4 2013, 05:28 AM

http://smd12364.newsvine.com/_news/2013/02/03/16826312-not-even-a-gun-range-had-enough-good-guys-with-a-gun-to-stop-one-bad-guy-with-a-gun

And yet another http://news.yahoo.com/man-charged-fatal-shooting-ex-seal-author-150201265.htmlto a story we will be hearing too much about

Posted by: akaCG Feb 6 2013, 01:20 AM

http://www.today.com/moms/second-graders-spell-check-nfl-players-tweets-1B8242018


Posted by: BoF Feb 7 2013, 09:47 PM

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/06/steve-pearce-state-of-the-union_n_2633217.html

Posted by: akaCG Feb 8 2013, 12:48 AM

QUOTE(BoF @ Feb 7 2013, 04:47 PM) *
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/06/steve-pearce-state-of-the-union_n_2633217.html

That was pretty funny.

Furthermore, ...

I would like to thank you for providing the perfect opportunity to post a reminder of one of the rules of this thread (which I'm quite sure that you, as a long-time and in good standing member of ad.gif who has repeatedly demonstrated that you are a person who believes quite strongly in the value of not only following rules but of pointing out violations thereof in "chapter and verse" fashion, can appreciate), which I included in thehttp://www.americasdebate.com/forums/index.php?s=&showtopic=21845&view=findpost&p=100008959 (bolding mine):

"The purpose of this thread is for all of us to have lots of fun by posting hyperlinked real-life HEADLINES (and only headlines; i.e. no quoted excerpts and stuff) of real-life NEWS articles (not editorial/opinion/commentary/blog pieces) that are so absurd/ridiculous/uproariously humorous/etc. that they could have just as easily come from The Onion."

One way to determine, quite easily, that an article fails to satisfy the above requirement is to look for editorializing(s) on the part its author. Examples thereof are bits like the following, excerpted from the piece you linked above (italics in the original):
QUOTE
...
New Mexico Republican Steve Pearce will not be in attendance at next week's joint address to Congress by President Barack Obama, because of the stuff about these chickens that's just too important, man.
...
So Pearce ... I mean, come on ... he's got to be there. ...
...
Oh, totally. ...
...
... the address will probably not suffer from his absence, so whatever, no biggie.
...


flowers.gif


Posted by: Aquilla Feb 8 2013, 01:10 AM

Ah, akaCG, I'm inclined to cut BoF a little slack on this one. It's only natural that he'd stand in solidarity with his brother and sister chickens, expecially the old hens. Not really sure why the Congressman has to waste his time with this nonsense anyway. Col. Sanders! We miss you man! laugh.gif

Aquilla

Posted by: BoF Feb 8 2013, 07:54 PM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Feb 7 2013, 06:48 PM) *
QUOTE(BoF @ Feb 7 2013, 04:47 PM) *
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/06/steve-pearce-state-of-the-union_n_2633217.html

That was pretty funny.

Furthermore, ...

I would like to thank you for providing the perfect opportunity to post a reminder of one of the rules of this thread (which I'm quite sure that you, as a long-time and in good standing member of ad.gif who has repeatedly demonstrated that you are a person who believes quite strongly in the value of not only following rules but of pointing out violations thereof in "chapter and verse" fashion, can appreciate), which I included in thehttp://www.americasdebate.com/forums/index.php?s=&showtopic=21845&view=findpost&p=100008959 (bolding mine):

"The purpose of this thread is for all of us to have lots of fun by posting hyperlinked real-life HEADLINES (and only headlines; i.e. no quoted excerpts and stuff) of real-life NEWS articles (not editorial/opinion/commentary/blog pieces) that are so absurd/ridiculous/uproariously humorous/etc. that they could have just as easily come from The Onion."

One way to determine, quite easily, that an article fails to satisfy the above requirement is to look for editorializing(s) on the part its author. Examples thereof are bits like the following, excerpted from the piece you linked above (italics in the original):
QUOTE
...
New Mexico Republican Steve Pearce will not be in attendance at next week's joint address to Congress by President Barack Obama, because of the stuff about these chickens that's just too important, man.
...
So Pearce ... I mean, come on ... he's got to be there. ...
...
Oh, totally. ...
...
... the address will probably not suffer from his absence, so whatever, no biggie.
...

Yawn! sleeping.gif

Posted by: Bikerdad Feb 8 2013, 08:46 PM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Feb 7 2013, 07:48 PM) *
QUOTE(BoF @ Feb 7 2013, 04:47 PM) *
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/06/steve-pearce-state-of-the-union_n_2633217.html

That was pretty funny.

Furthermore, ...

I would like to thank you for providing the perfect opportunity to post a reminder of one of the rules of this thread (which I'm quite sure that you, as a long-time and in good standing member of ad.gif who has repeatedly demonstrated that you are a person who believes quite strongly in the value of not only following rules but of pointing out violations thereof in "chapter and verse" fashion, can appreciate), which I included in thehttp://www.americasdebate.com/forums/index.php?s=&showtopic=21845&view=findpost&p=100008959 (bolding mine):

"The purpose of this thread is for all of us to have lots of fun by posting hyperlinked real-life HEADLINES (and only headlines; i.e. no quoted excerpts and stuff) of real-life NEWS articles (not editorial/opinion/commentary/blog pieces) that are so absurd/ridiculous/uproariously humorous/etc. that they could have just as easily come from The Onion."

One way to determine, quite easily, that an article fails to satisfy the above requirement is to look for editorializing(s) on the part its author. Examples thereof are bits like the following, excerpted from the piece you linked above (italics in the original):
QUOTE
...
New Mexico Republican Steve Pearce will not be in attendance at next week's joint address to Congress by President Barack Obama, because of the stuff about these chickens that's just too important, man.
...
So Pearce ... I mean, come on ... he's got to be there. ...
...
Oh, totally. ...
...
... the address will probably not suffer from his absence, so whatever, no biggie.
...


flowers.gif

Well, I think I've got to side with BoF on this one as well. The headline sounds like it's straight from the Onion. That's the requirement, whether the underlying article or not satisfies the criteria.

Now, had the chickens called at 3:00 AM, I'm sure that President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton would have been on top of it. devil.gif

Posted by: akaCG Feb 8 2013, 11:13 PM

QUOTE(Bikerdad @ Feb 8 2013, 03:46 PM) *
...
Well, I think I've got to side with BoF on this one as well. The headline sounds like it's straight from the Onion. That's the requirement, whether the underlying article or not satisfies the criteria.
...

In the OP, I clearly specified that there are not 1, not 2, but 3 requirements:

1. HEADLINES only.

2. The underlying article has to be a straight NEWS story, i.e. not an opinion/commentary piece.

3. The headline has to be ONION-like.

As I had occasion (thankfully, a rare event) to explain http://www.americasdebate.com/forums/index.php?s=&showtopic=21845&view=findpost&p=100010562, the reason I included the second requirement is because it makes things more challenging. Finding opinion/commentary pieces with humorous headlines (especially ones ridiculing politicians) is like shooting fish in a barrel, or picking reeeally low-hanging fruit. What's the fun in that?

Posted by: Bikerdad Feb 8 2013, 11:38 PM

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/manhattan/menage_lie_gal_is_guilty_t06rAB4K6hLT2vt63k3UVM

Posted by: akaCG Feb 9 2013, 12:10 AM

Thank you, "BD".

The thread is now back on track.

thumbsup.gif

ps:
Even the "banana mogul"'s last name - Hoey - fits the news story in an ONION-like sort of way!

thumbsup.gif thumbsup.gif


Posted by: akaCG Feb 11 2013, 04:52 PM

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/horsemeat-found-in-british-supermarkets-may-be-donkey-8489030.html


Posted by: Bikerdad Feb 11 2013, 06:55 PM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Feb 11 2013, 11:52 AM) *
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/horsemeat-found-in-british-supermarkets-may-be-donkey-8489030.html


Shrek could not be reached for comment.

Posted by: akaCG Feb 12 2013, 01:14 AM

QUOTE(Bikerdad @ Feb 11 2013, 01:55 PM) *
QUOTE(akaCG @ Feb 11 2013, 11:52 AM) *
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/horsemeat-found-in-british-supermarkets-may-be-donkey-8489030.html

Shrek could not be reached for comment.

No doubt he's wracked with guilt about not being more insistent in warning his best friends Donkey and Dragon that naming four of their kids Bananas, Peanut, Parfait and Èclair was a bad idea.

EDITED TO ADD:

http://todayhealth.today.com/_news/2013/02/06/16857579-ow-pubic-hair-grooming-injuries-on-the-rise-researchers-find?chromedomain=vitals


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Feb 12 2013, 11:23 AM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Feb 11 2013, 08:14 PM) *
http://todayhealth.today.com/_news/2013/02/06/16857579-ow-pubic-hair-grooming-injuries-on-the-rise-researchers-find?chromedomain=vitals


The emergency room for a grooming injury?
Wow, that's one heck of an injury. Were they using a straight razor for their naughty bits? blink.gif

Posted by: Aquilla Feb 12 2013, 03:16 PM

QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ Feb 12 2013, 05:23 AM) *
QUOTE(akaCG @ Feb 11 2013, 08:14 PM) *
http://todayhealth.today.com/_news/2013/02/06/16857579-ow-pubic-hair-grooming-injuries-on-the-rise-researchers-find?chromedomain=vitals


The emergency room for a grooming injury?
Wow, that's one heck of an injury. Were they using a straight razor for their naughty bits? blink.gif



I think this might be traced to the usage of "assault curling irons" by the civilian population.

Aquilla

Posted by: Amlord Feb 12 2013, 06:47 PM

QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ Feb 12 2013, 06:23 AM) *
QUOTE(akaCG @ Feb 11 2013, 08:14 PM) *
http://todayhealth.today.com/_news/2013/02/06/16857579-ow-pubic-hair-grooming-injuries-on-the-rise-researchers-find?chromedomain=vitals


The emergency room for a grooming injury?
Wow, that's one heck of an injury. Were they using a straight razor for their naughty bits? blink.gif


QUOTE
Shaving razors were the culprit in 83 percent of the injuries, with cuts being most common result. Scissors were used in nearly 22 percent of injuries, and hot wax led to 1.4 percent of the harm.

Scissors? who uses scissors? Apparently 22 percent of "groomers"...

Posted by: CruisingRam Feb 13 2013, 02:45 PM

How about real life sites that imitate the Onion from other countries?

Love news biscuit!

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2012/09/19/rally-driver-admits-he-has-no-idea-what-co-driver-is-talking-about/

Posted by: JohnfrmCleveland Feb 13 2013, 02:55 PM

QUOTE(Amlord @ Feb 12 2013, 01:47 PM) *
QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ Feb 12 2013, 06:23 AM) *
QUOTE(akaCG @ Feb 11 2013, 08:14 PM) *
http://todayhealth.today.com/_news/2013/02/06/16857579-ow-pubic-hair-grooming-injuries-on-the-rise-researchers-find?chromedomain=vitals


The emergency room for a grooming injury?
Wow, that's one heck of an injury. Were they using a straight razor for their naughty bits? blink.gif


QUOTE
Shaving razors were the culprit in 83 percent of the injuries, with cuts being most common result. Scissors were used in nearly 22 percent of injuries, and hot wax led to 1.4 percent of the harm.

Scissors? who uses scissors? Apparently 22 percent of "groomers"...


That's why I use a mechanical epilator.

Posted by: akaCG Feb 13 2013, 04:00 PM

QUOTE(CruisingRam @ Feb 13 2013, 09:45 AM) *
How about real life sites that imitate the Onion from other countries?
...

That would belong in a thread titled something like "Hilarious stories from Onion-like sites in other countries", which doesn't exist.

Feel free to start one.

Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Feb 13 2013, 05:53 PM

QUOTE(JohnfrmCleveland @ Feb 13 2013, 09:55 AM) *
That's why I use a mechanical epilator.


QUOTE(akaCG @ Feb 13 2013, 11:00 AM) *
That would belong in a thread titled something like "Hilarious stories from Onion-like sites in other countries"...


I think we can combine these ideas.
I'm sure there are interrogation facilities in other countries (the DPRK, perhaps a Turkish prison somewhere..) that employ mechanical epilators with accompanying fun stories!
(or at least sound like they are using them) ph34r.gif

Posted by: akaCG Feb 21 2013, 02:31 PM

http://www.scienceworldreport.com/articles/5073/20130220/why-women-talk-more-men-language-protein.htm


Posted by: Bikerdad Feb 21 2013, 06:43 PM

http://charlotte.cbslocal.com/2013/02/20/let-em-rip-study-finds-passengers-farting-mid-flight-healthy/

Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Feb 21 2013, 10:52 PM

QUOTE(Bikerdad @ Feb 21 2013, 01:43 PM) *
http://charlotte.cbslocal.com/2013/02/20/let-em-rip-study-finds-passengers-farting-mid-flight-healthy/


From the study (I assume this was government funded ermm.gif)
QUOTE
Despite giving the all-clear for passengers to “just let it go,” researchers warned that pilots shouldn’t let one rip while in the cockpit.

“On the one hand, if the pilot restrains a fart, all the drawbacks previously mentioned, including impaired concentration, may affect his abilities to control the plane,” researchers said in the study, according to AFP. “On the other hand, if he lets go of the fart, his co-pilot may be affected by its odor, which again reduces safety onboard the flight.”


mellow.gif

Edited to add:
QUOTE(akaCG @ Feb 21 2013, 09:31 AM) *
http://www.scienceworldreport.com/articles/5073/20130220/why-women-talk-more-men-language-protein.htm


Does "talking" include writing? This might explain why I have 6,790 posts.

Posted by: akaCG Mar 6 2013, 09:49 AM

http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2013/03/05/oberlin_college_kkk_sighting_police_suggest_that_eyewitness_may_have_mistaken.ht
ml


Posted by: akaCG Mar 28 2013, 06:34 PM

http://blog.al.com/wire/2013/03/post_44.html


Posted by: akaCG Apr 1 2013, 12:10 AM

http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2013/03/31/easter-bunny-on-motorcycle-stopped-on-southland-freeway-for-not-wearing-helmet/


Posted by: akaCG Apr 9 2013, 03:57 PM

http://news.yahoo.com/mali-france-camel-first-one-eaten-154033365.html


Posted by: akaCG May 17 2013, 02:49 AM

http://thehill.com/blogs/floor-action/house/300115-dems-propose-james-bond-solution-to-gun-violence?utm_source=buffer&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Buffer&utm_content=bufferab441


Posted by: Bikerdad May 17 2013, 03:22 AM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Mar 31 2013, 06:10 PM) *
http://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2013/03/31/easter-bunny-on-motorcycle-stopped-on-southland-freeway-for-not-wearing-helmet/
Of course he wasn't wearing a helmet, his ears wouldn't fit!

Posted by: akaCG Jun 20 2013, 03:21 PM

http://news.ie.msn.com/morris-the-cat-runs-for-mayor-in-mexico-25#image=1

Related:

QUOTE
...
... In the border city of Ciudad Juarez, “Chon the Donkey” is running for office.

In Tepic on the Pacific coast, “Tina the Chicken” is scratching around for votes.

In Puebla, “Maya the Cat” is looking for votes, too. So is “Tintan the Dog” in Oaxaca City.

...

In a town beset by drug violence and corruption scandals, the feline’s campaign slogan is this: “Tired of Voting for Rats? Vote for a Cat.”

“He sleeps almost all day and does nothing, and that fits the profile of a politician,” says Camacho.
...
Morris, who has his own website, Twitter account and Facebook page, has become more popular in social networks than the five humans running for mayor.

... election officials in Veracruz are so worried that Morris might actually win that they asked voters this week not to waste their vote on a cat.

Link: http://www.kansascity.com/2013/06/19/4301927/mexican-cat-running-for-mayor.html

http://www.chicagonow.com/quark-in-the-road/files/2013/06/cheshire.jpg.


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Jun 22 2013, 12:49 PM

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/10132391/Riot-after-Chinese-teachers-try-to-stop-pupils-cheating.html.

QUOTE
By late afternoon, the invigilators were trapped in a set of school offices, as groups of students pelted the windows with rocks. Outside, an angry mob of more than 2,000 people had gathered to vent its rage, smashing cars and chanting: "We want fairness. There is no fairness if you do not let us cheat."


Posted by: nebraska29 Jul 6 2013, 06:41 PM

http://www.theonion.com/articles/gop-we-support-our-nations-11-million-latino-crimi,32784/


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Jul 6 2013, 07:37 PM

QUOTE(nebraska29 @ Jul 6 2013, 02:41 PM) *
http://www.theonion.com/articles/gop-we-support-our-nations-11-million-latino-crimi,32784/



That actually IS the Onion.

Posted by: akaCG Jul 7 2013, 11:39 PM

http://www.digitalspy.com/odd/news/a495951/woman-marries-600-year-old-bridge-hes-sensual-kind-and-handsome.html

ps:

h/t Tim Blair's hilarious "http://blogs.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/timblair/index.php/dailytelegraph/comments/in_brickness_and_in_health/" piece.

Posted by: akaCG Jul 18 2013, 09:55 AM

http://host.madison.com/wsj/news/local/govt-and-politics/mayor-proposes-city-motto-square-miles-surrounded-by-reality/article_b47d7157-1f82-50bd-a18f-babcc4271b9f.html


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Jul 18 2013, 10:09 AM

http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/world/18042129/suspected-boston-bomber-on-cover-of-rolling-stone-magazine/.

"(Rolling Stone) Wanna see my picture on the cover
(Stone) Wanna buy five copies for my mother (I want one!)
(Stone) Wanna see my smilin' face
On the cover of the Rolling Stone
On the cover of the Rolling Stone

(Man, I don't know why we ain't on the cover, Baby)
(We're beautiful people)
(I ain't kiddin', why, we would make a beautiful cover
(Fresh shot, right up front, man)
(I can see it now, we'll be up on the front)"

wacko.gif ermm.gif mad.gif

Posted by: Curmudgeon Jul 18 2013, 05:13 PM

http://tv.yahoo.com/news/queen-wants-royal-baby-hurry-vacation-164000140.html

QUOTE
Britain's ruling monarch was asked by a schoolgirl at a public event whether she was hoping for a boy or a girl. "I don't think I mind," she replied. But she then added, "I would very much like it to arrive. I'm going on holiday."

Posted by: akaCG Jul 18 2013, 05:38 PM

http://www.koin.com/2013/07/17/vancouver-man-who-fired-gun-cites-biden-in-defense/


Posted by: akaCG Jul 20 2013, 01:09 AM

http://www.ktxs.com/news/national/disaster-plan-required-for-magicians-rabbit/-/14769504/20891884/-/6p44hu/-/index.html


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Jul 20 2013, 01:21 AM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Jul 19 2013, 09:09 PM) *
http://www.ktxs.com/news/national/disaster-plan-required-for-magicians-rabbit/-/14769504/20891884/-/6p44hu/-/index.html


He will save him with his https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/What's_Opera,_Doc%3F!
(magic helmet?)
Yes! Magic helmet...

Posted by: Curmudgeon Jul 20 2013, 05:37 AM

http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/bride-tosses-bouquet-giant-human-slingshot-145404067.html

QUOTE
We wanted to rent a mechanical bull because that's how we met, on the back of a mechanical bull at Western bar. We thought it would be funny to have that at the wedding. But we did the human slingshot instead.

Posted by: akaCG Jul 22 2013, 05:29 PM

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2373071/MSNBC-host-Melissa-Harris-Perry-wears-tampon-earrings-protest-security-measures-Texas-abortion-bill.html


Posted by: akaCG Jul 23 2013, 09:31 PM

http://www.salon.com/2013/07/23/weiner_cops_to_carlos_danger_sexts/


Posted by: Bikerdad Jul 24 2013, 03:56 AM

http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2012/03/19/bloomberg-strikes-again-nyc-bans-food-donations-to-the-homeless/

Posted by: JohnfrmCleveland Jul 25 2013, 03:00 AM

http://news.yahoo.com/ap-exclusive-pakistans-hero-burka-avenger-150123809.html

QUOTE
Meet Burka Avenger: a mild-mannered teacher with secret martial arts skills who uses a flowing black burka to hide her identity as she fights local thugs seeking to shut down the girls' school where she works.

Posted by: akaCG Jul 26 2013, 11:50 PM

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2013/07/25/obama_a_lot_of_reporters_told_me_my_ideas_sound_great.html

EDITED TO ADD:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/turkey/10203935/Turkey-clears-bird-of-spying-for-Israel.html

Posted by: JohnfrmCleveland Jul 27 2013, 05:09 PM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Jul 26 2013, 07:50 PM) *
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/turkey/10203935/Turkey-clears-bird-of-spying-for-Israel.html


You beat me to it.

The http://www.timesofisrael.com/turkey-clears-bird-fingered-as-israeli-spy/ claims that there were other, similar claims before this:

QUOTE
Israeli use of non-human spies is apparently a large concern in the Middle East. In May of 2012, authorities in Ankara dissected a European bee-eater after becoming concerned that it was carrying an Israeli listening device, and in December an eagle with an Israeli tag in Sudan was captured and touted as a Mossad spy.

In 2010, an Egyptian official said Israel-controlled sharks could be involved in a number of attacks on tourists in the Red Sea.



Posted by: Hobbes Jul 27 2013, 05:27 PM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Jul 23 2013, 04:31 PM) *
http://www.salon.com/2013/07/23/weiner_cops_to_carlos_danger_sexts/


I think http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEa_zFTyN8Ewould have been a more appropriate moniker.

Posted by: akaCG Jul 29 2013, 09:23 PM

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/uk-fire-brigade-attribute-rise-in-handcuff-related-emergency-calls-to-fifty-shades-of-grey/article13476931/


Posted by: akaCG Aug 17 2013, 07:46 PM

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2013/08/15/212327280/zoo-in-china-swaps-lion-for-dog-hopes-no-one-notices



http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-obama-rodeo-mask-clowns-20130814,0,962290.story

Posted by: akaCG Sep 9 2013, 10:23 PM

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2013/09/john-kerry-promises-unbelievably-small-u-s-strike-against-syria/


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Sep 10 2013, 01:00 AM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Sep 9 2013, 06:23 PM) *
http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2013/09/john-kerry-promises-unbelievably-small-u-s-strike-against-syria/


laugh.gif Perhaps a verbal attack. Or a hard stare.
(I'll vote for that)

Posted by: akaCG Sep 10 2013, 01:54 AM

QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ Sep 9 2013, 09:00 PM) *
QUOTE(akaCG @ Sep 9 2013, 06:23 PM) *
http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2013/09/john-kerry-promises-unbelievably-small-u-s-strike-against-syria/


laugh.gif Perhaps a verbal attack. Or a hard stare.
...

What came to my mind when I read that headline is: pin prick.

Alternatively, ...

Fighting Anthrax with Botox.


Posted by: CruisingRam Sep 10 2013, 03:06 AM

http://www.examiner.com/article/george-zimmerman-arrested-for-threatening-wife-with-a-gun

Posted by: akaCG Sep 16 2013, 02:34 PM

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/E/EU_ODD_RUSSIA_KANT_QUARREL?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2013-09-16-06-34-00


Posted by: akaCG Sep 21 2013, 12:22 PM

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-24185342


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Sep 21 2013, 12:37 PM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Sep 21 2013, 08:22 AM) *
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-24185342


blink.gif
From the article:
QUOTE
authorities would "not permit hoarding of essential commodities, or any faults in the production and distribution process."


I wonder if that applies to the stores, too? And what number is considered "hoarding"? ermm.gif

Posted by: akaCG Sep 21 2013, 04:16 PM

QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ Sep 21 2013, 08:37 AM) *
...
... what number is considered "hoarding"? ermm.gif

In this particular case, ...

= quantity that impedes backlog elimination.


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Sep 23 2013, 06:27 PM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Sep 21 2013, 12:16 PM) *
QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ Sep 21 2013, 08:37 AM) *
...
... what number is considered "hoarding"? ermm.gif

In this particular case, ...

= quantity that impedes backlog elimination.


I'd say it's a good thing they can still use the bidet...but the water services are nationalized, and probably rationed too.

Should be good for coastal properties near the sea! (though, those will probably be subject to rationing also)

http://health.yahoo.net/articles/obesity/obese-2-year-old-gets-weight-loss-surgery.

Posted by: Amlord Sep 23 2013, 09:00 PM

While we're on the subject of toilet humor:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2385168/London-Fatberg-weighing-15-TONNES-blocking-sewers.html

QUOTE
A lump of fat the size of a double decker bus has been discovered clogging a London sewer.
The Fatberg, described as 15 tonnes of festering food mixed with wet wipes and a host of other disgusting ephemera, was found blocking pipes under Kingston in south London.
The revolting mass caused sewage flows through the pipes to be reduced to five per cent of normal capacity and was created by people pouring cooking oils down the drain and flushing sanitary products.


YUM!

Posted by: akaCG Sep 24 2013, 01:09 AM

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/vegetarian-eats-meat-falls-pregnant-with-triplets/story-fnet08ck-1226709927137


Posted by: akaCG Sep 30 2013, 07:48 PM

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2436551/A-weatherman-breaks-tears-vows-NEVER-fly-grim-climate-change-report.html


Posted by: akaCG Oct 2 2013, 08:10 PM

Just when you think that the level of partisan acrimony in our country couldn't possibly get any worse, ...

http://bigstory.ap.org/article/honorary-feline-mayor-attacked-dog-recovering


Posted by: Bikerdad Oct 9 2013, 01:35 PM

http://www.thecourier.com/Issues/2013/Oct/08/ar_news_100813_story2.asp?d=100813_story2,2013,Oct,08&c=n

Posted by: akaCG Oct 9 2013, 05:21 PM

http://washington.cbslocal.com/2013/10/09/one-man-militia-cleaning-up-national-mall-for-vets-with-park-service-furloughed/


Posted by: akaCG Oct 11 2013, 10:35 PM

A two-fer:

http://news.yahoo.com/azerbaijan-announces-election-winner-vote-093515821.html

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/msnbc-president-wants-investigation-fox-647852


Posted by: akaCG Oct 20 2013, 04:39 PM

http://now.msn.com/leighton-buzzard-removes-john-lawsons-circus-posters-because-of-coulrophobia


Posted by: akaCG Oct 25 2013, 11:43 PM

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/25/alan-grayson-martin-bashir_n_4165026.html


Posted by: Ringwraith Oct 26 2013, 10:27 PM

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/10/26/georgia-man-runs-into-burning-home-to-get-beer/?intcmp=latestnews

Posted by: akaCG Oct 29 2013, 02:52 PM

http://www.abajournal.com/news/article/did_law_profs_get_a_satanic_pay_raise_as_retaliation_for_union_activities/


Posted by: akaCG Oct 30 2013, 11:43 PM

http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/30/us/new-york-health-department-website/index.html


Posted by: Hobbes Oct 31 2013, 12:12 AM

QUOTE(Bikerdad @ Oct 9 2013, 08:35 AM) *
http://www.thecourier.com/Issues/2013/Oct/08/ar_news_100813_story2.asp?d=100813_story2,2013,Oct,08&c=n


Cool! What can 'legally' happen to a dead man. Were you to rob a bank, wouldn't that be the ultimate alibi? Even if that fails, there is certainly no point in incarcerating a dead person, is there? If they did incarcerate you, couldn't you just climb into a hearse and demand to be taken to a cemetery? Also, couldn't get sued for anything...after all, you're dead! How do you 'legally' sue a dead person?




Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Oct 31 2013, 02:11 AM

QUOTE(Hobbes @ Oct 30 2013, 08:12 PM) *
QUOTE(Bikerdad @ Oct 9 2013, 08:35 AM) *
http://www.thecourier.com/Issues/2013/Oct/08/ar_news_100813_story2.asp?d=100813_story2,2013,Oct,08&c=n


Cool! What can 'legally' happen to a dead man. Were you to rob a bank, wouldn't that be the ultimate alibi? Even if that fails, there is certainly no point in incarcerating a dead person, is there? If they did incarcerate you, couldn't you just climb into a hearse and demand to be taken to a cemetery? Also, couldn't get sued for anything...after all, you're dead! How do you 'legally' sue a dead person?


Bet he STILL isn't safe from taxes.

Posted by: Bikerdad Nov 2 2013, 05:42 AM

http://video.foxnews.com/v/2794036440001/gutfeld-does-owning-a-gun-make-you-a-racist/

Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Nov 3 2013, 06:05 PM

http://www.nbcnews.com/entertainment/britney-spears-music-used-drive-away-somali-pirates-8C11488068

Seems a bit like torturing oneself.

Posted by: akaCG Nov 7 2013, 12:26 PM

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/06/joe-biden-marty-walsh_n_4228588.html


Posted by: akaCG Nov 8 2013, 06:30 PM

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-57610988-504083/sheep-stolen-from-village-named-wool/


Posted by: lo rez Nov 8 2013, 08:00 PM

QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ Nov 3 2013, 12:05 PM) *
http://www.nbcnews.com/entertainment/britney-spears-music-used-drive-away-somali-pirates-8C11488068

Seems a bit like torturing oneself.


along the same lines - http://gizmodo.com/australian-authorities-seize-katy-perrys-new-album-de-1459446198

Posted by: akaCG Nov 21 2013, 04:12 PM

http://news.yahoo.com/libya-mp-says-grenade-her-bag-self-defence-213531757.html


Posted by: Ringwraith Nov 27 2013, 12:13 AM

http://www.spokesman.com/blogs/outdoors/2013/nov/26/roadkill-its-whats-dinner-montana/

Posted by: Bikerdad Nov 27 2013, 06:21 AM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Nov 8 2013, 01:30 PM) *
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-57610988-504083/sheep-stolen-from-village-named-wool/

Which raises the question, is the sheep named "Wool", or the village? (No, I didn't click the link, that would take the fun out of guessing....)

Posted by: akaCG Dec 4 2013, 08:31 PM

http://www.nationaljournal.com/health-care/forget-about-the-price-tag-wins-obamacare-video-contest-20131204


Posted by: akaCG Dec 7 2013, 02:45 PM

http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10860772.Stolen_prosthetic_arm_discovered_in_a_second_hand_shop/


Posted by: akaCG Dec 12 2013, 06:16 PM

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/man-claims-440-pound-iron-shoes-cure-back-pain-article-1.1543194


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Dec 12 2013, 08:24 PM

http://www.policymic.com/articles/76273/5-reasons-china-s-smog-is-good-for-the-chinese-people-according-to-china

Posted by: akaCG Dec 13 2013, 12:34 AM

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/11/us/men-with-pelvic-pain-find-a-path-to-treatment-blocked-by-a-gynecology-board.html?ref=science&_r=0


Posted by: akaCG Dec 21 2013, 12:43 AM

http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/local/Police-Make-Obamacare-Heroin-Bust-in-Massachusetts-236745621.html


Posted by: Bikerdad Dec 24 2013, 01:35 AM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Dec 20 2013, 07:43 PM) *
http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/local/Police-Make-Obamacare-Heroin-Bust-in-Massachusetts-236745621.html

Aww man, it looks like I had Obamacare all wrong. I had it pegged as something that was supposed to be as addictive as crack, and now I find out it's heroin instead!

bummer dude!

Posted by: akaCG Jan 1 2014, 04:58 AM

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2530646/I-forced-survive-bread-water-Russian-prison-didnt-serve-vegetarian-alternative-says-freed-British-Greenpeace-activist.html


Posted by: Bikerdad Jan 5 2014, 09:24 AM

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2014/01/04/nc-councilman-authors-resignation-letter-in-klingon/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+foxnews%2Fpolitics+%28Internal+-+Politics+-+Text%29

Posted by: Bikerdad Jan 23 2014, 11:41 PM

South Dakota Moves To Legalize Killing Abortion Providers
courtesy of http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2011/02/south-dakota-hb-1171-legalize-killing-abortion-providers?page=2

Posted by: Bikerdad Jan 28 2014, 03:34 AM

http://news.msn.com/offbeat/flatulent-cows-start-fire-at-german-dairy-farm




Posted by: Paladin Elspeth Mar 10 2014, 05:38 PM

Senate Intelligence Committee Accuses CIA of Spying huh.gif

But it's apparently quite serious: http://wallstcheatsheet.com/politics/senate-intelligence-committee-accuses-cia-of-spying.html/?ref=YF

Posted by: Curmudgeon Mar 12 2014, 04:47 PM

While I was looking for something unrelated, http://www.drugalcoholtest.com/Marijuana-Drug-Testing-Cards-p-16133.html.

QUOTE
The ill effects of Marijuana does not last only for 7-8 hours but has long term effects on the whole body. Its effects are both physiological and physiological.

Posted by: akaCG Mar 15 2014, 05:26 PM

http://www.newser.com/story/183801/suicide-bomber-misfires-while-parking-kills-only-himself.html

ps:
Maybe he was driving a http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fR4fdXvmbZo.


Posted by: Paladin Elspeth Mar 20 2014, 06:15 PM

Susanne Atanus, Who Blames Gay Rights For Tornadoes, Wins GOP Nomination For Congress: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/19/susanne-atanus-congress-_n_4993555.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

Funny how the Almighty didn't send one to San Francisco... rolleyes.gif

It should have been followed by Tooth Fairy Comes in Second

Posted by: Curmudgeon Mar 31 2014, 03:36 AM

http://www.npr.org/blogs/alltechconsidered/2014/03/26/294329011/how-a-frosty-one-can-stop-you-from-checking-your-smartphone?utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=20140330&utm_source=mostemailed

In an effort to return people drinking in bars to the practice of speaking face to face, someone has apparently developed a beer glass which will tip over if it is not sitting on a cell phone. I would suspect that it's function can likely be bypassed easily by holding the beer glass in one hand and the cell phone in the other. Then again, I have never tried to raise a beer beer.gif glass and use a sell phone at the same time, so I may be wrong.

Posted by: akaCG Apr 17 2014, 01:09 AM

http://gawker.com/income-inequality-institute-will-pay-paul-krugman-25-0-1563245534


Posted by: akaCG May 2 2014, 10:00 PM

http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/former-congressman-bonior-longtime-liberal-on-capitol-hill-discovers-the-profit-motive/2014/04/26/3d99e3a2-c9a3-11e3-95f7-7ecdde72d2ea_story.html


Posted by: akaCG May 13 2014, 12:30 AM

http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2014/05/10/eleanor_clift_ambassador_stevens_wasnt_murdered_he_died_of_smoke_inhalation.html
#.U2-u5jPWcNs.twitter

ps:
For any of you who are not aware of/familiar with Ms. Clift: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eleanor_Clift


EDITED TO ADD:

http://www.thefrisky.com/2014-05-08/true-story-im-a-travel-writer-who-has-never-had-a-vacation-hookup/

ps:
http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/laughing/roflmao.gif


Posted by: AuthorMusician May 16 2014, 06:31 PM

http://www.wkrn.com/story/25520232/cat-saves-4-year-old-california-boy-from-vicious-dog-attack
Caught on a couple of home surveillance cameras. This makes the term attack cat not so much of a joke.

Posted by: Hobbes May 16 2014, 08:41 PM

QUOTE(AuthorMusician @ May 16 2014, 01:31 PM) *
http://www.wkrn.com/story/25520232/cat-saves-4-year-old-california-boy-from-vicious-dog-attack
Caught on a couple of home surveillance cameras. This makes the term attack cat not so much of a joke.


Saw that yesterday....GREAT story!

Posted by: akaCG May 16 2014, 11:54 PM

http://www.realclearscience.com/blog/2014/05/nba_players_arent_as_short_as_they_seem.html


Posted by: akaCG May 28 2014, 10:55 AM

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2014/05/22/Crocodile-injured-by-falling-accountant-during-circus-bus-accident-in-Russia/9611400761483/


Posted by: akaCG Jun 2 2014, 11:14 AM

http://www.theage.com.au/world/french-town-begs-for-a-mcdonalds-20140530-zrsjp.html


Posted by: akaCG Jun 12 2014, 08:59 PM

http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/story/25762814/polk-woman-named-crystal-metheny-arrested-for-firing-offensive-missile


Posted by: akaCG Jun 21 2014, 03:24 PM

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2620789/Wanted-hermit-Must-like-solitude-prepared-dispense-wisdom-salary-included-wont-spend-council-seek-official-cave-dweller.html


Posted by: Bikerdad Jun 22 2014, 08:20 PM

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/hillary-clinton-says-she-isnt-142020491.html

hmmm.gif

rolleyes.gif


Posted by: akaCG Jun 23 2014, 09:42 PM

http://www.news.com.au/world/us-exchange-student-pulled-from-tubingen-university-marble-vagina/story-fndir2ev-1226963283491

EDITED TO ADD, because I simply can't resist doing so:

Oh, the vagaries of a trimester semester abroad!


Posted by: Bikerdad Jun 24 2014, 12:59 PM

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/10920198/Greenpeace-executive-flies-250-miles-to-work.html

Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Jun 24 2014, 01:03 PM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Jun 23 2014, 05:42 PM) *
http://www.news.com.au/world/us-exchange-student-pulled-from-tubingen-university-marble-vagina/story-fndir2ev-1226963283491

EDITED TO ADD, because I simply can't resist doing so:

Oh, the vagaries of a trimester semester abroad!



It's a boy!!

Posted by: akaCG Jun 25 2014, 01:54 AM

QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ Jun 24 2014, 09:03 AM) *
QUOTE(akaCG @ Jun 23 2014, 05:42 PM) *
http://www.news.com.au/world/us-exchange-student-pulled-from-tubingen-university-marble-vagina/story-fndir2ev-1226963283491

EDITED TO ADD, because I simply can't resist doing so:

Oh, the vagaries of a trimester semester abroad!

It's a boy!!

http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk203/kittiekatnbabies/smiley/ROFLMAO-1.gif#roflmao%20gifs%20100x74


Posted by: Bikerdad Jun 26 2014, 01:29 PM

http://www.campusreform.org/?ID=5712

Okay, this one leaves me with a single question: Is there any hope left for our country?

http://www.govexec.com/federal-news/fedblog/2014/06/epa-employees-told-stop-pooping-hallway/87223/

Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Jun 26 2014, 02:03 PM

QUOTE(Bikerdad @ Jun 26 2014, 09:29 AM) *
Okay, this one leaves me with a single question: Is there any hope left for our country?

http://www.govexec.com/federal-news/fedblog/2014/06/epa-employees-told-stop-pooping-hallway/87223/


Think more glass-is-half-full. I smell a new job creation program!

Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Jun 29 2014, 01:21 PM

This picture should be in the Onion:

https://twitter.com/Kimrenne/status/481769534794133504/photo/1


For context, no, this isn't a military drill.
This photo was taken when ROK forces were hunting down a crazed, armed soldier who had killed several soldiers.

Maybe it was taken when he was holed up at the elementary school:

http://m.yna.co.kr/mob2/en/contents_en.jsp?cid=AEN20140622002500320&domain=3&ctype=A&site=0100000000

blink.gif wacko.gif ermm.gif

Posted by: Bikerdad Jun 30 2014, 02:53 PM

http://kluv.cbslocal.com/2014/06/30/the-secretary-of-the-air-force-gets-airsick/

ooh, ooh, got another one:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-26...l#ixzz369Q5lZxM/

Posted by: Bikerdad Jul 3 2014, 04:46 AM

http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2014/07/02/berkeley-plans-to-provide-free-weed-for-low-income-patients-marijuana-pot-collectives-dispensaries/

Posted by: akaCG Jul 4 2014, 12:05 AM

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2014/07/vet-finally-gets-va-appointment-two-years-after-his-death/


Posted by: akaCG Jul 6 2014, 06:33 PM

http://www.jamestownsun.com/content/fired-employee-sues-paint-company-over-racist-paint-names


Posted by: Bikerdad Jul 7 2014, 11:16 PM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Jul 6 2014, 12:33 PM) *
http://www.jamestownsun.com/content/fired-employee-sues-paint-company-over-racist-paint-names

meh, my headline on this one is better. See above. thumbsup.gif

Posted by: akaCG Jul 10 2014, 01:16 PM

http://www.slate.com/blogs/wild_things/2014/07/08/solar_power_plants_burning_birds_usfws_report_on_california_facilities_and.html


Posted by: akaCG Jul 15 2014, 01:17 PM

http://washingtonexaminer.com/survey-washingtonians-trust-media-most-neighbors-least-in-the-u.s./article/2550813


Posted by: akaCG Jul 30 2014, 12:24 AM

http://www.wptv.com/news/local-news/yall-come-ornl-bows-to-southern-pride_75723471


Posted by: akaCG Aug 1 2014, 01:32 PM

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/india/11002990/India-employs-men-in-ape-suits-to-drive-away-parliaments-monkeys.html


Posted by: Bikerdad Aug 1 2014, 11:41 PM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Aug 1 2014, 07:32 AM) *
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/india/11002990/India-employs-men-in-ape-suits-to-drive-away-parliaments-monkeys.html


I'm a little confused on this. If India's Parliament is anything like our Congress, I don't see how men in ape suits are going to drive away the legislators. shifty.gif

Posted by: akaCG Aug 7 2014, 12:27 AM

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2716106/Gardeners-Question-Time-caught-race-row.html


Posted by: akaCG Aug 12 2014, 05:34 PM

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/dc-news-crew-robbed-while-reporting-on-sketchy-neighborhoods/


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Aug 12 2014, 07:11 PM

http://www.navytimes.com/article/20140804/NEWS/308110012/Cowpens-bizarre-cruise

Not only the title, but the whole article should be a work of satire. Unbelieveable, disgraceful, and deeply depressing. ermm.gif

But I can't resist a punchline:

Guess it was Destiny.

Posted by: akaCG Sep 6 2014, 10:18 PM

http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2014/09/holyoke_hooker_takes_hookah.html


Posted by: Bikerdad Sep 20 2014, 06:20 AM

http://www.kutv.com/news/features/top-stories/stories/Polygamist-women-dressed-in-ninja-costumes-attacked-two-adults-in-West-Jordan-police-say-41660.shtml#.VB0bwfldUdG

Posted by: akaCG Sep 22 2014, 01:22 PM

http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/article/Thousands-of-stray-Chihuahuas-roam-Bay-Area-5768179.php


Posted by: akaCG Sep 29 2014, 06:17 PM

http://www.bdlive.co.za/national/health/2014/09/29/state-pulls-back-on-circumcision-device


Posted by: Bikerdad Sep 30 2014, 01:07 AM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Sep 29 2014, 12:17 PM) *
http://www.bdlive.co.za/national/health/2014/09/29/state-pulls-back-on-circumcision-device

w00t.gif

Posted by: akaCG Sep 30 2014, 06:40 PM


http://www.trust.org/item/20140929190322-v2j66/

http://www.latimes.com/food/dailydish/la-dd-beer-pipeline-20140926-story.html


Posted by: Bikerdad Sep 30 2014, 06:44 PM

http://www.thelocal.ch/20140925/study-sounds-death-knell-for-swiss-cow-bells

Posted by: Bikerdad Oct 9 2014, 09:46 AM

http://pagesix.com/2014/10/08/obama-slams-republicans-as-party-of-billionaires/

but wait... it gets better...

President Obama blasted Republicans as the party of “billionaires” on Tuesday while mingling with high-rollers at the $26 million estate of Rich Richman — yes, that’s his real name — in Greenwich, Conn.

Richman, who built his $10 billion company developing rental housing, lives in the Conyers Farm area, where the minimum lot size is 10 acres.
...
“If Republicans win, we know who they’ll be fighting for,” Obama said. “Once again, the interests of billionaires will come before the needs of the middle class.”



Posted by: akaCG Oct 11 2014, 04:57 PM

http://www.cnbc.com/id/102078398


Posted by: akaCG Oct 15 2014, 10:43 PM

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/professional-clown-club-attacks-american-740768


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Oct 16 2014, 03:00 PM

http://www.businessinsider.com/who-is-clipboard-guy-2014-10

It's fine! It's fine! Ebola is actually difficult to catch and he is not having any direct contact.

unsure.gif

Posted by: akaCG Oct 17 2014, 01:07 PM

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/390425/students-transgender-woman-cant-be-diversity-officer-because-shes-white-man-now


Posted by: Bikerdad Oct 17 2014, 11:49 PM

http://twitchy.com/2014/10/17/upset-conservative-group-american-commitment-wins-moveon-video-contest-in-a-landslide/

Posted by: akaCG Oct 22 2014, 10:49 PM

http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2014/10/22/white-house-fundraiser-qas-off-limits-due-to-heisenberg-principle/


Posted by: akaCG Oct 26 2014, 12:38 PM

http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2014/10/24/358364942/european-scientists-conclude-that-distant-comet-smells-terrible


Posted by: akaCG Oct 30 2014, 02:28 AM

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/11192385/Sex-with-21-women-lowers-risk-of-prostate-cancer-academics-find.html

ps:
Note to self: "Every now and then, the science IS settled!"


Posted by: Bikerdad Nov 4 2014, 02:12 AM

Man Immediately Regrets Jumping Onto A Dead Whale Being Eaten By Great White Sharks

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/man-regrets-jumping-onto-whale-being-eaten-by-sharks-2014-11#ixzz3I3tnqxNY

Posted by: JohnfrmCleveland Nov 7 2014, 04:50 PM

http://insider.foxnews.com/2014/11/06/cops-quadruple-amputee-run-person-interest-parents-murders

Posted by: Bikerdad Nov 11 2014, 06:11 AM

Technically not a news headline, although it is straight up reporting:

http://m.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/duped-by-innocence-project-milwaukee-man-now-free-b99386015z1-281852841.html

Nothing funny about it though....

Posted by: akaCG Nov 17 2014, 05:11 PM

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/nsw/pregnant-men-new-statistics-reveal-men-have-given-birth-to-54-babies-in-australia/story-fni0cx12-1227124085631?nk=17fb76449ef3a568ef13a3a641861010



EDITED TO ADD:

http://www.bbc.com/news/technology-30054140

Posted by: akaCG Nov 19 2014, 05:54 PM

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/Walmart-motorized-scooter-steak-theft-573214


Posted by: akaCG Nov 23 2014, 02:59 PM

http://boston.cbslocal.com/2014/11/22/police-naked-suspect-assaults-elderly-man-after-falling-from-airport-ceiling/


Posted by: Bikerdad Nov 26 2014, 06:13 AM

*** NOTICE: THIS WORD IS AGAINST THE RULES. FAILURE TO REMOVE IT WILL RESULT IN A STRIKE. *** Kieu, Gay Porn Fan, Arrested On Variety Of Felony Charges

Hey, THAT's the guy's name.

Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Nov 26 2014, 01:22 PM

http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/world/2014/11/182_168637.html


Posted by: akaCG Nov 27 2014, 01:00 AM

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2848699/Boy-today-girl-tomorrow-Teenager-bi-gender-boyfriend-says-loves-wakes-Ryan-Ria.html


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Nov 27 2014, 01:45 AM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Nov 26 2014, 08:00 PM) *
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2848699/Boy-today-girl-tomorrow-Teenager-bi-gender-boyfriend-says-loves-wakes-Ryan-Ria.html


Wow. Looking at the photos when he is dressed like a man he looks like a woman dressed like a man, and when he's dressed like a woman he looks like a man dressed like a woman.

Strange times indeed. I'm a cis-gendered demi-sexual. That means normal monogamous person, in new speak.

Posted by: akaCG Dec 12 2014, 02:51 AM

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/12/10/college-president-sorry-for-saying-all-lives-matter/


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Dec 14 2014, 08:49 PM

http://blogs.wsj.com/law/2014/12/04/tommy-the-chimp-loses-bid-for-habeas-corpus/

Posted by: akaCG Dec 16 2014, 05:55 PM

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2014/12/16/hero-mom-calls-into-cspan-to-berate-her-arguing-pundit-sons/


Posted by: akaCG Dec 19 2014, 10:50 AM

http://time.com/3639778/blind-boy-cane-noodle-dakota-nafzinger/


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Dec 31 2014, 02:51 PM

http://thisainthell.us/blog/?p=57351

Posted by: akaCG Dec 31 2014, 04:52 PM

http://www.hngn.com/articles/55706/20141230/breastfeeding-prostitution-ring-busted-china.htm


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Dec 31 2014, 06:17 PM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Dec 31 2014, 11:52 AM) *
http://www.hngn.com/articles/55706/20141230/breastfeeding-prostitution-ring-busted-china.htm


I have another!

http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/world/2014/10/182_166496.html.


Posted by: AuthorMusician Dec 31 2014, 09:22 PM

QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ Dec 31 2014, 02:17 PM) *
QUOTE(akaCG @ Dec 31 2014, 11:52 AM) *
http://www.hngn.com/articles/55706/20141230/breastfeeding-prostitution-ring-busted-china.htm


I have another!

http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/world/2014/10/182_166496.html.

I don't think The Onion would sniff that, too real and way, way, way too weird. But then I had an acquaintance in high school who worked the hotel in that little town of 10,000, so maybe not so unusual, eh?

Meanwhile, people have been buying powdered caffeine online and overdosing themselves to death, one while trying to improve his workout routine.

Heard about it today on Morning Edition, NPR. Onion headline?

Idiotic Health Nut Proves Caffeine Has Zero Tolerance For Him

Or:

Supreme Court Knocks Down Legal Pot, Keeps Killer Caffeine Legal

I wouldn't be surprised.

Posted by: akaCG Jan 24 2015, 11:15 PM

http://abcnews.go.com/Weird/wireStory/german-court-upholds-mans-pee-standing-28405657


Posted by: Bikerdad Feb 4 2015, 01:43 AM

http://www.channel3000.com/news/Woman-with-kangaroo-asked-to-leave-McDonald-s/31070084

Posted by: akaCG Feb 6 2015, 02:39 PM

http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/jan/29/city-of-melbourne-prepares-to-see-some-emails-lovely-as-its-trees


Posted by: akaCG Feb 9 2015, 10:05 PM

http://www.mediaite.com/tv/eric-holder-refuses-to-quack-like-a-duck-for-melissa-harris-perry/


Posted by: Bikerdad Feb 9 2015, 11:44 PM

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/02/09/german-court-rules-synagogue-firebombing-an-act-of-protest.html


Posted by: akaCG Feb 19 2015, 08:53 PM

http://lasvegas.cbslocal.com/2015/02/19/utah-court-allows-woman-to-sue-herself-for-wrongful-death-of-her-husband/



EDITED TO ADD:

http://www.stripes.com/news/europe/germany-s-army-used-broomsticks-instead-of-guns-during-nato-exercise-1.330513

Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Feb 20 2015, 01:27 PM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Feb 19 2015, 03:53 PM) *
http://lasvegas.cbslocal.com/2015/02/19/utah-court-allows-woman-to-sue-herself-for-wrongful-death-of-her-husband/


A woman's injured self sues her insured self.

This is like some odd combination of Catch 22 and Girl, Interrupted.

Posted by: Gray Seal Feb 20 2015, 06:11 PM

Can you picture testimony in the trial?

Driver: I am guilty of bad judgement. I was way out of bounds. It was all my fault. There is no excuse for my behavior.

Lawyer defending her client: No, no, no. You are being way too tough on yourself. Accidents happen. You could not foresee the accident. Give yourself a break.

Posted by: Curmudgeon Feb 22 2015, 06:14 AM

http://themindunleashed.org/2015/02/officials-declare-eating-healthy-mental-disorder.html

Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Mar 1 2015, 01:12 PM

http://www.irishexaminer.com/examviral/real-life/video-watch-a-would-be-robber-knock-himself-out-with-a-brick-in-louth-314833.html.

Posted by: AuthorMusician Mar 1 2015, 05:55 PM

QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ Mar 1 2015, 09:12 AM) *
http://www.irishexaminer.com/examviral/real-life/video-watch-a-would-be-robber-knock-himself-out-with-a-brick-in-louth-314833.html.

I had a nice laugh over one of the video titles, The Thick with the Brick, an allusion to Jethro Tull's album, Thick as a Brick.

Committing crime is stupid to begin with, but not understanding fundamental physics makes it especially pointless. So kids, stay in school and pay attention, eh? Who knows, maybe someday you'll be able to afford your own luxury car and be on the other side of the brick, meaning not bonking yourself silly but parking near your mansion in the glade.

Posted by: akaCG Mar 3 2015, 12:24 PM

http://www.cnn.com/2015/03/01/opinion/brazile-hillary-clinton-woman-2016/index.html


Posted by: akaCG Mar 21 2015, 05:41 PM

http://www.popularmechanics.com/culture/a14648/tank-delivers-pro-jeremy-clarkson-petition-to-bbc-video/


Posted by: Paladin Elspeth Apr 4 2015, 05:26 PM

Kansas bans poor people from spending welfare on cruise ships,
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/04/kansas-welfare_n_7001116.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

Posted by: Bikerdad Apr 7 2015, 05:59 PM

http://www.bostonherald.com/business/business_markets/2015/04/business_protocol_in_the_office_just_say_no_to_being_like_joe

Posted by: akaCG Apr 21 2015, 08:20 PM

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=c5d_1429637853


Posted by: Curmudgeon Apr 24 2015, 05:44 AM

http://nypost.com/2015/04/23/strippers-liven-up-funerals-with-erotic-dancing-in-rural-china/

Posted by: Curmudgeon May 6 2015, 09:43 PM

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/wal-mart-jade-helm-15



----------------------------------------------------------------------

QUOTE
€œFollow me below the dingledoodle squiggliedKosagnocchi dividerthingie fold after a word from our sponsor (brillig in Top Comments)
( http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/05/06/1382863/-KOSacks-and-the-Orange-Cloud-Street-Prophets-Coffe%20-Hour )

Posted by: akaCG May 8 2015, 08:06 PM

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/australia/11582733/Strange-outer-space-signal-that-baffled-Australian-scientists-turns-out-to-be-microwave-oven.html


Posted by: Curmudgeon May 15 2015, 05:14 AM

http://bgr.com/2015/05/14/doctor-leaves-cellphone-patient-stomach-jordan-gynecologist/#

From the story:

QUOTE
Sound crazy? Sure, but recall a 2014 Washington Post article which notes that surgeons inadvertently leave "surgical items" inside of patients about "once in every 5,500 to 7,000 surgeries."

From a http://gulfnews.com/news/mena/jordan/jordanian-gynaecologist-leaves-cell-phone-in-patient-s-abdomen-1.1510190in the story:
QUOTE
Hanan's case echoed in the Jordanian parliament, where the parliament member Salim Al Bataynah urged the Jordanian government to resign as a result of this scandal. "In countries which show respect to their nations, and following such scandals, governments usually resign," he was quoted as saying. "The parliament should show responsibility and be on the level of the case."

That's right, in America, the doctor would likely be sued. In Jordan, the doctor's mistake was cause to call for the government to be restructured!

Posted by: akaCG May 21 2015, 06:27 PM

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-05-21/sheep-verbal-abuse-war-words/6481068#.VV1VOKjYEtN.twitter


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen May 22 2015, 07:52 PM

QUOTE(akaCG @ May 21 2015, 02:27 PM) *
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-05-21/sheep-verbal-abuse-war-words/6481068#.VV1VOKjYEtN.twitter


Lol! Well….since this is casual conversation, your post reminds me of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcE5aDTszrY.

Some sheep stand up for their rights! laugh.gif

Posted by: AuthorMusician May 23 2015, 10:40 AM

QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ May 22 2015, 03:52 PM) *
QUOTE(akaCG @ May 21 2015, 02:27 PM) *
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-05-21/sheep-verbal-abuse-war-words/6481068#.VV1VOKjYEtN.twitter


Lol! Well….since this is casual conversation, your post reminds me of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcE5aDTszrY.

Some sheep stand up for their rights! laugh.gif

Funny, especially how the sheep make noise with their mouths closed or full of grass. Natural ventriloquists.

Posted by: Curmudgeon May 25 2015, 08:50 PM

https://www.yahoo.com/tech/google-files-patent-for-smart-teddy-bear-that-119617355219.html

Posted by: AuthorMusician May 26 2015, 10:14 AM

QUOTE(Curmudgeon @ May 25 2015, 04:50 PM) *
https://www.yahoo.com/tech/google-files-patent-for-smart-teddy-bear-that-119617355219.html

What next, creepy clown controllers?

I don't need the teddy bear. I already have a couple of fur bags that control the doorman at the Ritz too much. On the plus side, I get some extra exercise.

Posted by: Curmudgeon May 27 2015, 10:55 AM

QUOTE(AuthorMusician @ May 26 2015, 05:14 AM) *
What next, creepy clown controllers?

I don't need the teddy bear. I already have a couple of fur bags that control the doorman at the Ritz too much. On the plus side, I get some extra exercise.

Here is a link to a story of a young man with too much money who apparently did not understand the term, "Watch Dog."

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/chinese-heir-buys-apple-watches-for-dog-163153148.html

edited to add (from the same link):
QUOTE
The dog reportedly lives a lavish lifestyle.

Posted by: Bikerdad May 27 2015, 09:12 PM

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-los-angeles-minimum-wage-unions-20150526-story.html

Posted by: Curmudgeon May 28 2015, 02:52 PM

A link from The Daily Kos that dropped into my mailbox:

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/05/22/1386821/-A-good-many-Republican-presidential-candidates-posed-for-pictures-with-a-child-molester

Posted by: Bikerdad May 28 2015, 04:40 PM

QUOTE(Curmudgeon @ May 28 2015, 08:52 AM) *
A link from The Daily Kos that dropped into my mailbox:

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/05/22/1386821/-A-good-many-Republican-presidential-candidates-posed-for-pictures-with-a-child-molester


Not to be confused with http://gotnews.com/top-gay-activist-charged-child-rape-major-democrat-donor/

Democrat Presidents and Vice Presidents posing for pictures with a child molester, having said child molester over to the White House more than 6 times, and hoovering up money from said child molester.... Democrat Presidential candidates, senators, governors, and other poobahs have all paid tribute to Bean. Note: Duggar was 15 years old at the time, had nothing whatsoever to do with politics much less activism over sexuality. Bean? 64 and co founder of the Human Rights Campaign, the largest gay activist group in the world.






Back to more casual topics:

http://www.express.co.uk/news/weird/578609/Man-accidentally-sex-wife-identical-twin-sister-Las-Vegas-Reddit

Posted by: akaCG May 28 2015, 07:47 PM

http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/article/2565164?utm_content=bufferea13e&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer

ps:
Made me think of a photo of the same sculpture, but with the man's and woman's positions reversed, with a caption that reads:"Er, excuse me! My eyes are up HERE, pal!" laugh.gif


Posted by: Bikerdad May 29 2015, 02:49 PM

http://thelibertarianrepublic.com/college-students-rank-george-w-bush-more-evil-than-stalin-and-mao/


Posted by: akaCG Jun 27 2015, 10:48 PM

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/cnn-mistakes-sex-toy-flag-805574



Posted by: akaCG Jul 4 2015, 03:07 PM

http://www.cbc.ca/news/trending/the-world-s-tallest-cow-dies-after-a-lifetime-of-photoshop-accusations-1.3134026


Posted by: Bikerdad Jul 16 2015, 05:00 AM

http://www.nbcnews.com/watch/nbc-news/shark-killed-in-traffic-crash-461876803848

Posted by: akaCG Jul 18 2015, 10:34 PM

"http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2015/07/government-it-official-ran-law-enforcement-data-systems-for-years-with-faked-degrees/"


Posted by: Curmudgeon Jul 21 2015, 05:57 PM

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/pope-francis-leading-the-new-american-socialist-revolution-2015-07-20?siteid=yhoof2

The story says in part:

QUOTE
Pope Francis is not just leading a "Second American Revolution," he is rallying people across the Earth, middle class as well as poor, inciting billions to rise up in a global economic revolution, one that could suddenly sweep the planet, like the 1789 French storming the Bastille.


And this headline just popped up: http://www.examiner.com/article/will-killer-robots-act-like-men-or-women-it-matters

Posted by: Hobbes Jul 22 2015, 05:04 AM

QUOTE(Mrs. Pigpen @ May 22 2015, 02:52 PM) *
QUOTE(akaCG @ May 21 2015, 02:27 PM) *
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-05-21/sheep-verbal-abuse-war-words/6481068#.VV1VOKjYEtN.twitter


Lol! Well….since this is casual conversation, your post reminds me of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcE5aDTszrY.

Some sheep stand up for their rights! laugh.gif


I had https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlYlNF30bVg in mind too

Posted by: akaCG Jul 22 2015, 06:41 PM

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/a-man-just-won-the-world-championship-in-french-scrabble-without-understanding-a-word-of-french_55ae88efe4b08f57d5d2aa0b


Posted by: akaCG Jul 31 2015, 01:07 PM

http://blogs.rollcall.com/hill-blotter/congressional-couches-test-positive-for-toxic-retardant/?dcz=



Posted by: Curmudgeon Aug 4 2015, 05:11 AM

http://mashable.com/2015/08/03/ted-cruz-bacon-machine-gun/

And what the media focused on was:

QUOTE
The gun is actually a semi-automatic, not a machine gun.

Posted by: AuthorMusician Aug 4 2015, 03:38 PM

QUOTE(Curmudgeon @ Aug 4 2015, 01:11 AM) *
http://mashable.com/2015/08/03/ted-cruz-bacon-machine-gun/

And what the media focused on was:
QUOTE
The gun is actually a semi-automatic, not a machine gun.

This falls in line with waging war using cast iron fry pans heated over campfires to club the enemy. And this clown wants to be the Commander in Chief? rolleyes.gif


Posted by: akaCG Aug 4 2015, 04:08 PM

"http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/2015-08/03/hitchbot-usa-vandalised-philadelphia"


Posted by: akaCG Aug 15 2015, 06:53 PM

"http://time.com/3992153/thai-tattoo-artist-sak-yant-khachon-cherdchoo-murder/"


Posted by: Mrs. Pigpen Aug 18 2015, 07:35 PM

QUOTE(akaCG @ Aug 15 2015, 02:53 PM) *
"http://time.com/3992153/thai-tattoo-artist-sak-yant-khachon-cherdchoo-murder/"


You'd think he might've had an inkling of what was going to happen.

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