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> The new political joke thread, Post your jokes here(keep it clean)
Mike
post Mar 24 2005, 02:51 PM
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There were some database problems with the old political joke topic, and I had to close it.

The old topic is located here.

Please use this topic for all of your political jokes!

Mike
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AuthorMusician
post Feb 8 2017, 11:22 AM
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The Joke's On Conservatives Who Love Lady Gaga For Not Getting Political

I'm pretty sure Tony Bennett had something to do with this turn from meat dresses to greater use of subtle messages wrapped in high quality performance. That's how to handle a bad romance while keeping on the right track -- speak to the subconscious minds in order to persuade the conscious mind.

One commenter quipped that her entire body of work is political. There's the long-term joke on the artistically challenged.

This post has been edited by AuthorMusician: Feb 8 2017, 11:25 AM
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akaCG
post Feb 8 2017, 03:17 PM
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TRUMP: Media has been under-covering terrorist attacks. So dishonest!

MEDIA: Liar! Here's a whole bunch of them, just in the past couple of years, that we did cover!

TRUMP: http://diepresse.com/images/uploads/6/b/2/...88214440417.jpg

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akaCG
post Feb 17 2017, 02:16 AM
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"Your City on Socialism. Your Hospital on Socialism. Your Politician on Socialism."

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akaCG
post Feb 19 2017, 01:32 AM
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Ten score, nine years, eight months and four days ago (i.e. on June 14, 1807), ...

"Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle. The real extent of this state of misinformation is known only to those who are in situations to confront facts within their knolege with the lies of the day."
--- Führer Thomas Jefferson

ps:
June 14 is also ... Donald J. Trump's birthday! Ssssspooky!

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akaCG
post Feb 21 2017, 03:38 PM
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Move over, Atkins, WeightWatchers et al.! Make room for ... ¡Dieta de Venezuela!

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akaCG
post Feb 23 2017, 03:15 AM
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"THEY TOLD ME THE TRUMP ERA WOULD BE A FASCIST ONE, MARKED BY INFORMERS AND PUNISHMENT FOR FREE SPEECH. AND THEY WERE RIGHT!"

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akaCG
post Apr 14 2017, 11:20 PM
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"What did we blow up?"

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akaCG
post Apr 22 2017, 04:35 PM
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Some hilarious gems from Sean Spicier's Twitter feed over the past couple of weeks:

“The President secured the release of an American imprisoned in Egypt for 3 years, all without the need for a late night cash drop.”

“The President will visit Wisconsin today. If anyone from the Clinton campaign needs directions on how to get there, let me know.”

“To honor the great work Russia did in the Kansas special election, the President will dine on borscht and virgin White Russians tonight.”

“In response to last night's air strikes, the Syrian government started a new social media campaign: #BringBackBarack”

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akaCG
post Apr 26 2017, 11:55 PM
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It's Tuesday, so here's a twofer:

"In an effort to be more & more like Hitler, the President spoke at the Holocaust Days of Remembrance event"

"Everyone keeps leaving out the best part of the President's first 100 days: It's not Hillary's first 100 days"


EDITED TO ADD:

This Day in History: April 22, 2017

A whole bunch of people all over the world, in commemoration of the 147th anniversary of Lenin's birthday, marched in protest of Capitalism ruining the planet and somesuch.

This post has been edited by akaCG: Apr 26 2017, 11:56 PM
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akaCG
post Apr 29 2017, 09:28 PM
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"That moment you find out that Dolph Lundgren is exponentially more qualified to be called a scientist than Bill Nye is"

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akaCG
post May 12 2017, 12:12 PM
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"Firing Comey is 100% proof of a coverup, but hiding a private server in a bathroom and deleting 30K emails is standard operating procedure"

"Today's the 1 week Anniversary of the House passed AHCA. Since then, no Republicans have been arrested for throwing grandma off the cliff."

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akaCG
post May 15 2017, 12:52 AM
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"With the budget in mind, the President's considering a female FBI Director. Paying her 71% of the normal salary will help with the wall."



Even on Mother's Day, Sean Spicier is hard at work:

"Anyone know what time the "Mom Voted Trump So I'm Skipping Mother's Day" March starts?"

"The entire administration would like to wish a very special Mother's Day to the mother of all mothers: Mother Russia"
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akaCG
post May 18 2017, 12:09 PM
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BREAKING: "The President will invite former Director Mueller to meet on the nearest tarmac to share grandkid photos and tell golf stories"

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akaCG
post Jun 2 2017, 11:39 PM
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"ISIS Condemns Kathy Griffin For Cultural Appropriation"

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