(LOL, Cruising Ram! )

If a tree falls in the forest....those in denial will trip over it, and Smokey the Bear will round up the usual suspects.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...

You must have voted for Bush

Crazy is as crazy....

Crazy is as crazy....lOoK!!! PuPpiES!

wILL YoU bE My fRIENd?
aAUUGH cLOWNS


I'm not gonna try it, Give it to Mike. Mike will........

I'm not gonna try it, Give it to Mike. Mike will........ dance the can can and you'll soon forget all your worries...

~

Cry havoc and unleash the...

Cry havoc- and unleash the ...... Puppies of peace

(call back to old thread)

It was a dark and stormy night....

It was a dark and stormy night....
(But don't take my word for it!)

YOU HAVE BEEN PRE-QUALIFIED TO...

You have been pre-qualified to ....

Join the Army, or the Air Force, or the Marines, or the Navy, but please god, just pick and choose one, because, see, we need some folks, and we don't have that draft thingy and......

If I have told you once, I have told you a thousand times......

If I have told you once, I have told you a thousand times......don't exaggerate! (Thanks mom!)

Next:

Never leave your password where someone...

Never leave your password where someone.... will log on to your work computer, leave a message for the whole hospital to read, where they describe the fact that you really are gender confused, and your next vacation will be spent in Colorado in a "special" hospital where they specialize in "changes" and send it to the CEO of the hospital as a "joke" (true story that one LOL)

God I am so bored....

God I am so bored.... said George W Bush to Tony Blair. "Who can we invade next?"


~


Tony Blair said....

God I am so bored.... said George W Bush to Tony Blair. "Who can we invade next?"


~


Tony Blair said...."We'll always have Paris."

--------------------------

Don't take any wooden nickels, and...

Don't take any wooden nickels, and... try to use them to play Pac Man!

Two roads diverged in a wood...

were obviously designed by a woman.


********************************************************


I saw John Kerry the other day and I...

I saw John Kerry the other day and I...


thanked him for his service to our country.


If you can't convince them with facts, . . .

If you can't convince them with facts, . . .

... than maybe I can convince them with lies.


If you pick your nose ...

If you pick your nose ... and find gold, then don't tell any one else!!!!


~


A man with a dog walks into a bar and....

A man with a dog walks into a bar and....find Garfield, Odie, John and Arlene sitting at a table sipping beers.

The difference between dogs and cats is...

The difference between dogs and cats is...

... obvious to anyone who has ever been bitten by both a tabby cat and a Rottweiler.

This is not the end. This is not even the beginning of the end. It is, perhaps...

just too darn confusing to say that this end of this beginning has an end at all.


Don't fire 'til you see...

Don't fire 'til you see...

Al Sharpton


A bird in the hand is worth ...

...a lot if it is a California Condor, a Peregrine Falcon, or a Bald Eagle. Thems is good eatin'!


One small step for man...

One small step for man...

... can lead to gales of laughter if you tied his shoelaces together beforehand.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was....

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was....

....with that "friendly" girl from Babylon.


Do on to others...

Do on to others...
results when you lock people outside for the night.

Any fool can make a rule...

Any fool can make a rule... that fools other fools easily fooled by rules, for if the uncool fool's aim is to rule fools, any fool in-or-out-of-school knows that fools drool for fool rules.


Life is nothing but a ...

Life is nothing but a ... beautiful melody. Except the lyrics make you want to tear your hair out. (Oh, wait, that isn't life...that's the 'small world' ride at Disneyland)


-------------------------

Youth is wasted on the......

Youth is wasted on the......

Impotent.

Beauty is only skin deep........

. . . but stupidity goes straight down to the bone.


You can lead a horse to water . . .

You can lead a horse to water . . .if you happen to be a horse trainer or
the Messiah....I mean, cmon, whose ever tried to get a horse to follow him to a
nearby river....unless your name is Jesus, good luck to ya with that one.


The best thing to do when in-laws arrive is.........

The best thing to do when in-laws arrive is.........


to put that demo surround-sound CD on full blast of the landing jet airliner.


If I told you once, I told you a million times, don't . . .

And mom, five years after your death, I didn't expect to have to say this again...

And mom, five years after your death, I didn't expect to have to say this again... but would you QUIT ZAPPING THE TV!!!


~


Free us Oh Lord from the wrath of the...

Free us Oh Lord from the wrath of the... people you created who have forgotten you also invented the sense of humor.




Just when you thought it was safe to..........