Last night on Countdown Allison Stewart, substituting for Keith Olbermann, said:



I thought the statement, I've included as part of my signature, was funny as much for what it didn’t say as what it did.

This is supposed to be a fun thread. The person who completes the current sentence must provide a sentence for someone else to complete. The sentence can be original or something someone else, in this case Allison Stewart, said. Complete the sentence after the three dots.

“Karl Rove is not guilty of leaking the latest Harry Potter book’s plot,” but…

“Karl Rove is not guilty of leaking the latest Harry Potter book’s plot,” but…

...but he is in fact the Half Blood Prince.

Do you mean like that?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"The chances of anything coming from Mars, are a million to one" he said...

"The chances of anything coming from Mars, are a million to one" he said...

"...But this is the third little green man I've seen today buying lottery tickets."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Travelers no longer have to wait thirty minutes after landing at Reagan International Airport, but...

Travelers no longer have to wait thirty minutes after landing at Reagan International Airport, but... mandatory strip searches are now part of the security check.


*****************************************************************


There comes a time in every person's life that they must...

admit to cross dressing and have a serious chat with their spouse.

Eeyore didn't give us a sentence to complete, so here's one:

People who live in glass houses . . .

People who live in glass houses . . . Should be in good physical shape or buy thick curtains for the sake of their neighbors.

When confronted with a telemarketer claiming that they are calling to "give" you something (thus this is not a sales call so no-call list laws do not apply), you should...

Initiate phone sex with them and see how quickly they hang up..(always worked for me in getting telemarketers off the phone)


If at first you don't succeed.... then

If at first you don't succeed... then hire Karl Rove.


In light of his Second Stage Review, a comprehensive analysis of the Department of Homeland Security, Secretary Chertoff unveiled that he would...

initiate a color code alert program that would not clash with his winter wardrobe..


After a hard day at the office, Laura Bush likes to....

After a hard day at the office, Laura Bush likes to....get George to take his bath, put on his nighties and then read him a stowwy.




Should you find yourself confronted by a superior force it is wise to...

Should you find yourself confronted by a superior force it is wise to... suggest to them that they may not wish to go home bragging of a Pyrrhic victory; then beat a hasty retreat while they are checking their dictionary.





I overheard a woman say, "All I need to be happy is two swords and a Q-tip," so I...

I overheard a woman say, "All I need to be happy is two swords and a Q-tip," so I... suggested she hang out with Kid Rock, Tommy Lee, and Karl Rove.


Were Bill Clinton Secretary General of the UN, President Bush would probably...

Were Bill Clinton Secretary General of the UN, President Bush would probably... still do whatever Karl and Donald told him to do.

When somebody loves you, it's no good unless they love you ....

When somebody loves you, it's no good unless they love you .... for your money and your fast cars.


Do not eat the yellow snow, because......

Do not eat the yellow snow, because......you will just never again be satisfied anything less.


Ever just stop to think and ...

Ever just stop to think and... thereby confirm that you are not a politician.

A bird in the hand is worth.....

A bird in the hand is worth..... setting free


~


No Luke, I am your....

....father's financial advisor. See a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, your father came to me looking to diversify his portfolio. I suggested that he start looking into defense contractors and interstellar enginerring corporations. See, both of those industries were in a bit of a slump before the Emperor consolidated power and took over. Buy low, sell high, that's my motto. Anyhow, he made a killing off of them. Whoops, bad analogy. Hey, can I interest you in some mutual funds?




---------------------------------------

Can anyone show me directions to the....

Can anyone show me directions to the.... Information Highway?

-----------------------------------

Teach a man to fish ..........

Teach a man to fish... and you've given him something to do for homespun photo ops after his inherited wealth has bought him political power and position.


It is better to light a candle...

Teach a man to fish .......... so he will starve when the fishery crashes.


A little knowledge is a dangerous thing ...

and cheaper than buying a box of chocolates.

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing ...

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing ... to give a psychotic cybernetic brain controlling a Martian War Machine

~

I love the smell of...

I love the smell of... ....napalm in the morning.

Roses are to capitalism, as weeds are to....

Roses are to capitalism, as weeds are to.... capitalism, depending on who can market them the best.

Never get involved in a land war in...

Teach a man to fish... and he will soon be divorced.


All your base....

All your base....belong to George Steinbrenner.


You can lead a horse to water.....

We kinda skipped this one, so...

Never get involved in a land war in... an effort to boost your ratings.


Now back to ringwraith's

You can lead a horse to water...

You can lead a horse to water...

...your tomatoes, but don't be surprised if they taste funny.

Once upon a time, there were three...

Once upon a time, there were three...


. . . branches of US government, but now it's all trunk.



Pack up your troubles and . . .

Pack up your troubles and . . .

... smile, but remember that you'll ruin a set of perfectly good luggage.

We, the people, ...

We, the people... of AD, do declare ourselves to always be right, even when we are wrong.

~

I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll...

I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll... incur a large fine, or be locked up in a correctional facility to protect me from my own foolishness.



Always beware of......

Always beware of......
...politicians who talk and lawyers who don't.


To be or not to be, that......

Always beware of being too cautious!


If I had known how much they disliked Jello.....

If I had known how much they disliked Jello.....

I wouldn't have worn the white shirt.

_______________________________________


Kids are obviously smarter than adults because ....

Hey, we skipped the red herring!

To be or not to be, that...... that is a problem wasps just don't think about...

Now back to your regular programming:


Kids are obviously smarter than adults because ....

Kids are obviously smarter than adults because .... they know that they have a lot to learn.

My sweet sister Susie sells....

My sweet sister sells.. slightly smoked swisher sweet cigars.


I came, I saw, I......

"I came, I saw, I ran for Senator."-Hillary Clinton.

So the President looked me straight in the eye and said...

CP

So the President looked me straight in the eye and said...I really didn't fall off my mountain bike--Condi pushed me.

As my grandmother used to say, "Smart is where the skin is rubbed off"...

"Smart is where the skin is rubbed off"...

. . . wise is where the callous has grown.


In times like these, it is best to remember . . .

In times like these, it is best to remember . . .

... er .... no, it's gone.

Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power ...

Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power... leads to Microsoft.


~


Is that a pistol in your pocket or...

Is that a pistol in your pocket or...

...no, that is a pistol...and you're not happy to see me at all...ok, ok, ok. I'll have the rest of the money by Tuesday, I swear.

If a train bound for Memphis from Chicago is traveling at 60 MPH, and another train bound for New York City from Milwaukee is traveling at 80 MPH.......

Than, in the words of Elmer Fudd,"Never the twains shall meet."

Winning isn't everything........

Winning isn't everything...which is why we enjoy banging our heads against the wall known as America's Debate.

Next up:

We hold these truths to be self-evident...

We hold these truths to be self evident...
that life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are all subject to drastic change while the Congress is in session.

"Fools rush in, where..."

Fool rush in, where... Drinks are 1 buck and the women scantily clad

If a tree falls in the forest....