The poll question: What is the best age to make a child aware of the
danger that exists with pedophiles and bad people?

1. What is the best way to inform a child about such dangers?

2. (If you are a parent) How cautious are you, when it comes to
protecting your child/ren from potential harm?

1. What is the best way to inform a child about such dangers?

I think the best way is to start at a very early age warning kids about potential dangers in a language they understand. The easiest old rule is don't talk to strangers. Also, we talk about private parts being private.

Many schools and television shows have good programs that work as good drills to play with your children. Remember Kindergarten Cop and the kids yelling stranger when they encountered a stranger at school? There is a similar drill having children scream no when they are asked to do something they are taught is wrong. (i.e. do you want to get in my car?)

2. (If you are a parent) How cautious are you, when it comes to
protecting your child/ren from potential harm?

I don't think I am super cautious. Yet we are much more cautious then our parents were. Our kids *(the oldest is six) rarely have permission to go out in the neighborhood without constant supervision. Despite our not being super careful, our lives don't have them out of the sight of one of four or five adults in our circle at any one time. (And we are two of those four or five.) The only exception is our daughter at school.

By starting young. Children should be bombarded from an early age about the dangers that surround them. Do not let the danger consume a child but let the warnings be serve and numerous enough that leaving room for questions will not be an option. It is a better way to let children know about the perils of being alive today if both the school system and the parents work in concert to reflect the message.

If the school (where children spend a majority of their waking hours on weekdays) is sending one message and children are given another by their parents, it can cause severe conflict. But to establish the groundwork of letting your children know about danger early and letting it be reinforced in school: a much better chance of your child recognizing and avoiding such dangers as pedophiles, kidnappers, etc.

I would say in and around 5. I would think at a younger age it should be more focused on staying with mommy or daddy when in the store..not to wander away alone etc.

I actually disagree with the stranger danger approach as it is considered ineffective and often promotes the wrong message. Besides most children are abducted or sexually abused by people they know or do not consider "strangers"

I think it is best to teach kids how to respond to certain scenarios. As in what is appropriate interactions and what is not. I also have spoken with my children and told them that if anyone ever tries to take them or make them go with them that they are to scream as loud as they can "you are not my mommy/daddy" I have also told them to look for and ask for help from "strangers" like a policeman, a mother with children or someone who works where they are at.

Just to give a real life example of how stranger danger fails..my daughters and I are in the elevator of my parents apt. we are riding with one of their neighbors who is no longer considered a "stranger" to my kids because we do encounter him often, he is a neighbor of their grandparents and we also greet him chat with him etc.
He is a large muscular biker and has massive skull and cross bone tattoos all over his arms. My youngest tells him....ohhhhh I like your tatoos and reaches out to touch the skull with a dagger in it's head. Thanks he responds I got that one in Nam.
Now I am not saying this guy is a bad guy he is actually really nice and I have no problem with my kids interacting with him...BUT he still is a stranger and he would fit the typical description of a bad scary guy perfectly and yet my children ar not the least bit weary or frightened of him.

I think it is not enough to just give kids a catchy phrase or a vague description of "bad" people. As we have seen unfortunately in the stories in the news kids get abused by people we often consider to be leaders in our communities.

The best age is as soon as they can understand the words that you're speaking to them. 2 or 3. And, this lesson needs to be reinforced consistently.

2. First, by telling them not to "go with strangers". Then, as they get older telling them the specifics of cases where predatory pedophiles have kidnapped, abused, and killed a child.

3. Extremely cautious. I have two high school students and I will not allow my teenage daughter to walk alone to school. And it's right down the street.

And finally, by not letting them attend the University of Wisconsin, Madison.

Apparently, that University doesn't have any problem employing convicted pedophiles. Our tax dollars at work....

O'Reilly interview

This thread is about children. By the time your two kids arrive at college they will be legal adults, not children. If they want to attend the University of Wisconsin, Madison, which they probably want after they've heard you and Bill O'Reilly trash UWM for several years, then the decision is up to them, not you.

You can only be what Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. called the "autocrat of the breakfast table," while at or near the breakfast table.

You could, of course, refuse to provide them finaicial assistance in such a "horrible" scenario.

1. What is the best way to inform a child about such dangers?

In the program I went thru (and have continuing training in thru the Catholic Church) the 5 steps are:

Step 1 Know the warning signs

Step 2 Control access

Step 3 Monitor all programs

Step 4 Be aware

Step 5 Communicate your concerns

This is from an adult's point of view on how we can protect children. Kids need to be protected but they don't need to be frightened into not talking to anyone ever again. The key for your own children is Number 2: Control Access.

Don't let your kids be alone with adults. If they are in a group setting, make sure there are multiple adults and that the kids are not alone with only one of them.

From a kid's point of view, they need to be taught that some parts of their body only belong to them. Others should not see them nor touch them. They should be taught to tell about what happens when they are with others and if they are not open, something could be suspicious. I always ask my kids about what they did and who they were with, and they are only 10 and 6.

2. (If you are a parent) How cautious are you, when it comes to protecting your child/ren from potential harm?

I'll never forget the day my daughter was born and a janitor whom I had never seen before or since warned me to keep her safe. "Don't leave her with her uncles" "Don't leave her with your parents" "Don't leave her with anyone!"

I am not nearly that paranoid. Their mother nearly is, however. For the longest time, she would not allow them to play in the backyard, which is fenced and gated, unless she was out there the whole time with them. It makes sense if they are 4, but by the time they are 8 or 9, they are just looking for some space.

No kids, so I'll just answer the first one.

What is the best way to inform a child about such dangers?

I think someone else already mentioned that the "stranger danger" hype is misleading -- most kids who get abused or molested are victims of people they know or are even related to. I think children should be taught from the earliest babyhood that their private parts are not to be touched by anybody but Mommy or Daddy, and that if somebody else touches them, Mommy or Daddy should be told immediately, no matter what the other person says might happen.

I am forty years old and have met a stunning number of people who were inappropriately touched in some way in childhood -- either by a sibling, a friend, another relative, etc. I don't think this lesson can be too strongly emphasized.

What is the best way to inform a child about such dangers?

As soon as my daughter was able to start learning her body parts, she learned where her "private areas" were. I did this in the hopes that it would remove some of the mystery and fascination children tend to apply to the unknown. I also did not want any kind of negative association with these areas. Right along with that went the whole you, me and daddy only business.

I've also told her it's okay to talk to strangers when mommy or daddy are right there with you, but never when you are alone. This stemmed from being in stores where perfectly nice people would say hello or ask her age and she would just stare at me because they were a stranger. So I guess we had to mix in some polite teaching. I felt it was important to start at that time telling her because someone looks nice doesn't mean they are nice and because someone looks scary doesn't mean they are bad. So because you don't know for sure, you shouldn't talk to any stranger when you are alone.

There are also many resources for parents to turn to. One in particular is the Berenstain Bears Learn About Strangers Book. I feel it gives kids something to focus on (cartoon pictures, characters they know) while you are trying to impart a serious lesson.

Like every other aspect of parenting, it's a tight rope act. It's very difficult to teach children the things they need to know without scaring them away from all the good experiences you want them to have. I frequently feel like a circus performer. I do think it's very important to stay age, or more importantly, maturity appropriate. Very few people besides the parent will be able to decide what that is.

(If you are a parent) How cautious are you, when it comes to protecting your child/ren from potential harm?

My daughter is only 4 but already I get anxious about her safety in the future. Hopefully I will be able to temper my own fear and keep her safe while helping her learn to keep herself safe.

I foresee her friends having to come to my house to play just so I can keep my fingernails and she can interact with other kids outside of school. So, for good of for bad, I think I personally am going to be on the spastic side of protection.

I would say that it should occur where they have some degree of independence from you. This may vary from ages 6-10, but there isn't a magical age where that kicks in IMHO. Some six year olds have better judgment than those who are a year or two older than them. When you decide to allow your child to stay at sleep-overs or to go to the park by themselves, then that is when that kind of thing should occur.



We are very cautious, especially knowing that most cases occur within families, not necessarily from some guy out on release or something. You just take simple measures such as forbidding the closing of doors and frequently checking up on them. Since my kids are only 1 & 2, I can't say that I've had to do a whole lot in that regard. We have a small circle of family that we visit and since my wife is a counselor, she is very familiar with any covert "grooming" tactics and that kind of thing.