Full Version: Coaching kids
Next week I begin my second season coaching my daughter's CYO basketball team. The team did ok last year, but it was my first year and many of the girls' first year in organized basketball.
This year, I hope to teach them more skills for basketball and continue my "lessons in life" lectures: practice makes perfect, being prepared, respecting others, stuff like that.
The girls are fifth graders, 11 years old.
Anyhow, I was wondering:
Do you have experience working with kids or coaching kids?
How do you relate to kids (other than your own) that are much younger than yourself?
This year, I hope to teach them more skills for basketball and continue my "lessons in life" lectures: practice makes perfect, being prepared, respecting others, stuff like that.
The girls are fifth graders, 11 years old.
Anyhow, I was wondering:
Do you have experience working with kids or coaching kids?
How do you relate to kids (other than your own) that are much younger than yourself?
Many years ago when I was still in college my best friend from childhood and I coached a little league baseball team for kids 7-9 years old. The kids were absolutely delightful, the parents a royal pain in the rear end. I spent more time explaining to dads why I wasn't teaching their 8 year old son how to throw a screw ball than I did telling the young man to just try and get the ball somewhere close to the plate. 
We did ok, our team won more than it lost and most importantly, every kid got a chance to play in every game. One thing we did do during that summer was to take the kids along with some of the dads to a couple of Denver Bears baseball games and show them how the "big guys" were doing the same things on the field that they were being taught to do in practice. I think it helped them gain an appreciation for the game itself.
We did ok, our team won more than it lost and most importantly, every kid got a chance to play in every game. One thing we did do during that summer was to take the kids along with some of the dads to a couple of Denver Bears baseball games and show them how the "big guys" were doing the same things on the field that they were being taught to do in practice. I think it helped them gain an appreciation for the game itself.
I don't have any athletic coaching experience, but I have a TON of experience working with kids as a dance teacher and care provider.
I've always ADORED kids...it started when my sister was born and I've never let up! I have worked with kids ranging from newborns to high school, but most often I find myself enjoying the company of preschoolers and early elementary kids. I'm a kid at heart in so many ways, so it's easy to relate to them. Before I had my daughter, I watched children's TV shows and movies regularly (woke up at 7 almost every day in college just to watch Sesame Street...I must be insane). Kids have always adored me, as well. I guess it certainly makes it easier to relate to them when they're clinging to your legs within five minutes of meeting them!
The best way to relate to them is to be friendly, silly, and really pay attention to them. I think kids are put off by adults when they get the sense that they aren't really being listened to...kids are damn smart and they know when someone isn't enjoying their company!
I think it's great that you're coaching kids! My hubby's best friend is the teen director and a Boys and Girls Club and he also coaches youth basketball programs through the Club (and outside of the club). Hubby has always had an interest in coaching high school football as a career (once he finishes up in the miltary). It takes a special kind of person with a lot of tolerance and a lot of love to go around to coach kids (especially in those pre-teen/teenage years).
I've always ADORED kids...it started when my sister was born and I've never let up! I have worked with kids ranging from newborns to high school, but most often I find myself enjoying the company of preschoolers and early elementary kids. I'm a kid at heart in so many ways, so it's easy to relate to them. Before I had my daughter, I watched children's TV shows and movies regularly (woke up at 7 almost every day in college just to watch Sesame Street...I must be insane). Kids have always adored me, as well. I guess it certainly makes it easier to relate to them when they're clinging to your legs within five minutes of meeting them!
The best way to relate to them is to be friendly, silly, and really pay attention to them. I think kids are put off by adults when they get the sense that they aren't really being listened to...kids are damn smart and they know when someone isn't enjoying their company!
I think it's great that you're coaching kids! My hubby's best friend is the teen director and a Boys and Girls Club and he also coaches youth basketball programs through the Club (and outside of the club). Hubby has always had an interest in coaching high school football as a career (once he finishes up in the miltary). It takes a special kind of person with a lot of tolerance and a lot of love to go around to coach kids (especially in those pre-teen/teenage years).
I've been coaching high school athletics for fourteen years. I coach indoor track(coed), girls' outdoor track and girls' volleyball. I think I have a total of perhaps 28 seasons worth of experience. Here is my improptu list of advice:
1.) At the outset of the season put forth some rules of teamwork, attendance and attitude. This primary set of expectations should be your bible for the rest of the season. DO NOT make any exceptions to these expectations. Parents may make excuses for attendance. Kids may have bad days, etc... It does not matter what the excuse, you do not want to bend. I say this not because I am an authoritarian coach! I say this because the biggest expectation kids have of their coaches is that they are fair. If you stick to your expectations the kids may get angry when it doesn't go their way but they will ALL love you for for even-handedness and fairness. By adhering to the same standards they will get their first taste of "team" and belonging before the first game or competition.
2.) Go into practices and competitons with a game plan. Get an idea of the drills, exercises etc.. and the amount of time they will take. Let the kids know in advance what they will be doing, how long they will be doing it and, most important, what it will do for them as an athlete and as a team. Giving meaning and direction to the practices is instructive in countless ways.
a. it teaches focus (how much longer do I have to keep this up?)
b. it gives small, achievable goals and teaches goal setting
c. it models good organization and competency for the kids
3.) Challenge the kids physically and emotionally. WARNING Do not be a drill instructor. Make sure that the challenge is commensurate with the skills/age of the kids. The best challenges are measurable and repeatable. Example:
run the mile and get each kid's time. Next week run it again (after practicing running and tellign them they are practicing for running). Let THEM write down their times because ownership is important. By the end of the season they will have measurable successes. This is only limited by your imagination as a coach and basic rules of safety
It is important that, at the end of the season the kids have a way of looking back and seeing how they have a.) improved athletically and b.) become a team.
4.) Be knowledgable! Get a book about the sport. Enlist the help of someone with specific knowledge. Ask questions!!! Kids and parents alike will adore you for your attention to detail, willingness to study and learn and your desire to bring the best experience to the kids and the team. As kmsouthern said, "..kids are damn smart.." They want a coach to lead, to provide structure and to teach them something about life in which they have an immediate interest.
5.) Be schizophrenic! You have to wear many hats to be a coach. For some you are parent (because home isn't going so well), counselor, friend, coach or psychologist. Obviously, with different age groups the gravity of this changes.
No matter the age of the athletes though, all coaches have the need to play a variety of roles. The athletes must respect you as a leader and adult. They must love you as a mentor. Finally, they must fear you just a little bit.
I know that this last part is often met with debate but hear me out. A coach is in a unique relationship. One of your main suties is to have the athletes recognize their strengths and weaknesses and learn about themselves (and others) through the process. One of the best ways, in my opinion, that a coach can do this is by providing tough, but not impossible challenges to his/her athletes. In order to do this the coach becomes necessarily associated with the challenges they offer to their team. If kids don't occassionally say to themselves, "Oh man, what's coach gonna do if we mess up? How hard is practice going to be? etc..", then it is likely that you aren't challenging them enough. And as I always say (ok, so I just made it up but i'm keeping it) "challenge is the fertilizer, your team the garden" Also, realize that sometimes YOU may be impetus for the bonding of your team. (see #1) When the rules do not bend the kids will turn to eachother for support, advice and comraderie.
corollary to #1 and #5: you want your team to like eachother more than they like you..no matter how much that might hurt your feelings. They won't be growing up with you.....
6.) Have more fun than they are having
edited to fix only those typos I found...and I added my corollary
1.) At the outset of the season put forth some rules of teamwork, attendance and attitude. This primary set of expectations should be your bible for the rest of the season. DO NOT make any exceptions to these expectations. Parents may make excuses for attendance. Kids may have bad days, etc... It does not matter what the excuse, you do not want to bend. I say this not because I am an authoritarian coach! I say this because the biggest expectation kids have of their coaches is that they are fair. If you stick to your expectations the kids may get angry when it doesn't go their way but they will ALL love you for for even-handedness and fairness. By adhering to the same standards they will get their first taste of "team" and belonging before the first game or competition.
2.) Go into practices and competitons with a game plan. Get an idea of the drills, exercises etc.. and the amount of time they will take. Let the kids know in advance what they will be doing, how long they will be doing it and, most important, what it will do for them as an athlete and as a team. Giving meaning and direction to the practices is instructive in countless ways.
a. it teaches focus (how much longer do I have to keep this up?)
b. it gives small, achievable goals and teaches goal setting
c. it models good organization and competency for the kids
3.) Challenge the kids physically and emotionally. WARNING Do not be a drill instructor. Make sure that the challenge is commensurate with the skills/age of the kids. The best challenges are measurable and repeatable. Example:
run the mile and get each kid's time. Next week run it again (after practicing running and tellign them they are practicing for running). Let THEM write down their times because ownership is important. By the end of the season they will have measurable successes. This is only limited by your imagination as a coach and basic rules of safety
It is important that, at the end of the season the kids have a way of looking back and seeing how they have a.) improved athletically and b.) become a team.4.) Be knowledgable! Get a book about the sport. Enlist the help of someone with specific knowledge. Ask questions!!! Kids and parents alike will adore you for your attention to detail, willingness to study and learn and your desire to bring the best experience to the kids and the team. As kmsouthern said, "..kids are damn smart.." They want a coach to lead, to provide structure and to teach them something about life in which they have an immediate interest.
5.) Be schizophrenic! You have to wear many hats to be a coach. For some you are parent (because home isn't going so well), counselor, friend, coach or psychologist. Obviously, with different age groups the gravity of this changes.
No matter the age of the athletes though, all coaches have the need to play a variety of roles. The athletes must respect you as a leader and adult. They must love you as a mentor. Finally, they must fear you just a little bit.
I know that this last part is often met with debate but hear me out. A coach is in a unique relationship. One of your main suties is to have the athletes recognize their strengths and weaknesses and learn about themselves (and others) through the process. One of the best ways, in my opinion, that a coach can do this is by providing tough, but not impossible challenges to his/her athletes. In order to do this the coach becomes necessarily associated with the challenges they offer to their team. If kids don't occassionally say to themselves, "Oh man, what's coach gonna do if we mess up? How hard is practice going to be? etc..", then it is likely that you aren't challenging them enough. And as I always say (ok, so I just made it up but i'm keeping it) "challenge is the fertilizer, your team the garden" Also, realize that sometimes YOU may be impetus for the bonding of your team. (see #1) When the rules do not bend the kids will turn to eachother for support, advice and comraderie.
corollary to #1 and #5: you want your team to like eachother more than they like you..no matter how much that might hurt your feelings. They won't be growing up with you.....
6.) Have more fun than they are having
edited to fix only those typos I found...and I added my corollary
Good for you Amlord, it’s a very rewarding “gig”. If we could just figure out how to remove the mouthy parents it would be bliss.
Coached soccer for both recreational leagues and select/traveling/club teams. Night and day difference which impacts your coaching strategy. I”ve also coached basketball, T ball, baseball and football.
Since you’re coaching 11 year olds in a recreational league the single most important thing to remember is: it’s a recreation league. I believe it’s the hardest level to coach.
Try to understand where each kid is coming from: some will just be looking for some thing to do, some might have parents who forced them to play and others will be genuinely excited to be on your team and want to learn. You’ll have a percentage that are really competitive and want to win every game and practice scrimmage while you’ll undoubtedly have those who are thinking about everything but basketball while at practice. That’s why I think it’s the toughest level to coach.
Once you’ve identified the type of players you have, make sure at some time during your practice you give those who are really competitive a chance to drill amongst themselves (if you have any assistants that’s even better). But also make sure that everyone plays/drills with all their team mates. Aquilla had some good advice: try to do things outside of practice or games as a team, after a game arrange for everyone to go have lunch together or the movies, or maybe even a sleep over. Be careful though, you want to make sure every one can attend.
If the focus of the league is participation and not winning, every kid must play X number of minutes, then you may want to keep measurable stats like turnovers, assists, that way you can measure the progress and hard work of your team regardless of their record.
Coached a select soccer team for five and a half years and for the most part it was the same group of kids. If you’re in a similar scenario, where you’ll be coaching your daughter and most of the same kids for a few more years, I’d suggest focusing on a fundamental or two a year. Don’t ignore the other fundamentals but for example with basketball I’d really focus on dribbling and defense the first year, passing and shooting the second year, etc… And make the kids aware of your short term and long term plans, like kmsouthern stated, they’re far more perceptive than we often think.
La Herring Rouge has a really important point in that you must be consistent and fair with everything you do. Make sure you’re comfortable with your coaching style, if you’re not really a drill sergeant in real life than don’t pretend to be one as a coach, it will show. One of the major keys as a coach is to earn and maintain their respect: set your rules (kids really do want boundaries) and stand by them.
Although I coached boy’s select soccer one fall as they started playing for their school teams I had the opportunity to coach a 13 year old girls select team. I would coach girls at that age in a second. They are far more mature at that age and seem to grasp concepts and understood how to apply them in game situations. It was a complete joy.
This may not work in a recreational league, but if you have a few bad apples that are ruining practice for the others, talking when you’re talking, goofing off at inappropriate times (and frustrating the coach!) here’s a suggestion I used on my soccer team. When the boys got to the eleven/twelve year old range they were starting to get a little out of hand, not all of them but a few who were a distraction when ever we were in drills or when I was instructing.
So I gathered the team around and asked them how they felt when they were playing in a hard fought game and it when it comes down to the last minutes and somebody on our team wasn’t paying attention and was out of place or wasn’t giving the expected effort and allowed the other team to score a winning goal. I asked was it really fair that the entire team suffered when one person wasn’t pulling with the team. And everyone agreed, and they knew one of my basic philosophies that you play like you practice. So….
From that point forward if anyone talked when I was instructing, wasn’t paying attention, or breaking any of the practice rules, the entire team paid the price with push ups and a quarter mile sprint up a huge hill and back. Sure enough the first practice with the new rules one of the trouble makers got out of line so I blew the whistle and said, “Ok team, thanks to Mr Smith, we’re going to do push ups and a lap”. Off they went.
Not five minutes later the same player got the team in trouble again. Another round of push ups and a lap courtesy of “Mr. Smith”. A short time later the same player did it again and brought another round for his team mates. However this time the team captain was the first one back from the lap and sprinted up to me and said “Coach, I don’t think you’re going to see Mr. Smith cause any more trouble.”. It worked like a charm and the bonding of that team became even more apparent.
Coached soccer for both recreational leagues and select/traveling/club teams. Night and day difference which impacts your coaching strategy. I”ve also coached basketball, T ball, baseball and football.
Since you’re coaching 11 year olds in a recreational league the single most important thing to remember is: it’s a recreation league. I believe it’s the hardest level to coach.
Try to understand where each kid is coming from: some will just be looking for some thing to do, some might have parents who forced them to play and others will be genuinely excited to be on your team and want to learn. You’ll have a percentage that are really competitive and want to win every game and practice scrimmage while you’ll undoubtedly have those who are thinking about everything but basketball while at practice. That’s why I think it’s the toughest level to coach.
Once you’ve identified the type of players you have, make sure at some time during your practice you give those who are really competitive a chance to drill amongst themselves (if you have any assistants that’s even better). But also make sure that everyone plays/drills with all their team mates. Aquilla had some good advice: try to do things outside of practice or games as a team, after a game arrange for everyone to go have lunch together or the movies, or maybe even a sleep over. Be careful though, you want to make sure every one can attend.
If the focus of the league is participation and not winning, every kid must play X number of minutes, then you may want to keep measurable stats like turnovers, assists, that way you can measure the progress and hard work of your team regardless of their record.
Coached a select soccer team for five and a half years and for the most part it was the same group of kids. If you’re in a similar scenario, where you’ll be coaching your daughter and most of the same kids for a few more years, I’d suggest focusing on a fundamental or two a year. Don’t ignore the other fundamentals but for example with basketball I’d really focus on dribbling and defense the first year, passing and shooting the second year, etc… And make the kids aware of your short term and long term plans, like kmsouthern stated, they’re far more perceptive than we often think.
La Herring Rouge has a really important point in that you must be consistent and fair with everything you do. Make sure you’re comfortable with your coaching style, if you’re not really a drill sergeant in real life than don’t pretend to be one as a coach, it will show. One of the major keys as a coach is to earn and maintain their respect: set your rules (kids really do want boundaries) and stand by them.
Although I coached boy’s select soccer one fall as they started playing for their school teams I had the opportunity to coach a 13 year old girls select team. I would coach girls at that age in a second. They are far more mature at that age and seem to grasp concepts and understood how to apply them in game situations. It was a complete joy.
This may not work in a recreational league, but if you have a few bad apples that are ruining practice for the others, talking when you’re talking, goofing off at inappropriate times (and frustrating the coach!) here’s a suggestion I used on my soccer team. When the boys got to the eleven/twelve year old range they were starting to get a little out of hand, not all of them but a few who were a distraction when ever we were in drills or when I was instructing.
So I gathered the team around and asked them how they felt when they were playing in a hard fought game and it when it comes down to the last minutes and somebody on our team wasn’t paying attention and was out of place or wasn’t giving the expected effort and allowed the other team to score a winning goal. I asked was it really fair that the entire team suffered when one person wasn’t pulling with the team. And everyone agreed, and they knew one of my basic philosophies that you play like you practice. So….
From that point forward if anyone talked when I was instructing, wasn’t paying attention, or breaking any of the practice rules, the entire team paid the price with push ups and a quarter mile sprint up a huge hill and back. Sure enough the first practice with the new rules one of the trouble makers got out of line so I blew the whistle and said, “Ok team, thanks to Mr Smith, we’re going to do push ups and a lap”. Off they went.
Not five minutes later the same player got the team in trouble again. Another round of push ups and a lap courtesy of “Mr. Smith”. A short time later the same player did it again and brought another round for his team mates. However this time the team captain was the first one back from the lap and sprinted up to me and said “Coach, I don’t think you’re going to see Mr. Smith cause any more trouble.”. It worked like a charm and the bonding of that team became even more apparent.
Tomorrow is the start of the season.
Hopefully, the 4-5 weeks of practice we have had will pay off...
Everyone keep their fingers crossed...
Hopefully, the 4-5 weeks of practice we have had will pay off...
Everyone keep their fingers crossed...
QUOTE(Amlord @ Nov 1 2005, 04:47 PM)
Anyhow, I was wondering:
Do you have experience working with kids or coaching kids?
How do you relate to kids (other than your own) that are much younger than yourself?
Do you have experience working with kids or coaching kids?
How do you relate to kids (other than your own) that are much younger than yourself?
I've never done it... as I don't have children, but think that it's great that you're involved.
Who on AD can't remember a softball, soccer, football coach (etc) that didn't have an impact on your work ethic, sportsmanship, and overall character in general?
I can remember the years that my father coached soccer teams, and I remember being instilled with a sense of pride that came from fairness and objectivity that I'd never seen.
I also remember both of my HS football coaches and their determination to get me an acedemic scholarship and a place as a walk on... of which only the previous happened (and was short lived), but there are times even now in the gym I can see their faces and hear them screaming as if I had stolen their tv...
Good for you Amlord. Your kids will never forget.
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