I’d like to start out asking - no, begging - for enough sensitivity and restraint on the part of those who dislike cats, or think I’m crazy, to refrain from posting your derogatory or sarcastic comments. I’m feeling raw enough already.

I’ve been absent for a while dealing with a painful issue. As some may know, my pets are my family, and I love them dearly. About a month ago, I noticed my big black cat Merlin was losing weight…rather quickly, and he didn’t seem his usual self. He was diagnosed with pancreatitis, liver disease and diabetes. I was sent home with a whole BUNCH of meds. As any cat person would know, giving a cat a pill isn’t an easy thing to do under the best of circumstances. Giving a big, strong cat several pills is a Herculean task made more difficult by a bout of my own illness. The shots turned out to be the easiest thing to do (I hate needles; it gave me the heebie jeebies thinking about giving him shots). I’ve been an absolute wreck trying to get his medicine in him.

He continued to do poorly. He had little appetite, and I resorted to "people tuna" to entice him to eat. He lost more weight, and finally just quit eating on Christmas Eve. Yesterday I took him back to the vet. Poor Merlin is in a bad way. He’s got what the vet termed the “triad”; severe liver disease, chronic pancreatitis, and an irritated digestive tract. She said that it is treatable (when treatment is early and aggressive), and sometimes excellent results can be achieved. Of course, sometimes the opposite is true.

But, here’s the rub…I’m looking at quite possibly $3,000 worth of vet bills. Some of my friends think it isn’t worth it and I should just put him down. I think it’s worth it, but as a new (i.e., broke) homeowner, the cost is daunting…which makes me feel guilty for considering cost over Merlin’s life, and so on in the thoughts whirling around in my head.

For those who can relate to the desire to do everything for a beloved pet, would you go to extremes to save your pet? How far is too far?

Our cat, Gabby, had similar problems. Unfortunately, her symptoms included leaving many unbelievable messes that you'll thank me for sparing the details.

My wife had the cat long before we met and was very, very attached to it. She suggested we put the cat to sleep. I disagreed. I told her we needed to whatever it takes to make it well. Many dollars, surgeries, chemo treatments, and frustrating treatments later, the cat was fine. We got another 2-3 years of a relatively normal cat. The problems arose much the same a second time, and it was then that we realized we would subject the cat to the same treatments again to make us feel better.

Once we realized we were doing it for us and not the cat, we put Gabby to sleep.

So, my advice would only be to make sure you do whatever you do for the cat's sake - not yours. You may feel better having a very sick cat around, but I can promise you that if cat's could talk, it wouldn't be saying nice things about the choices you are making for it.

If it were me, I'd do whatever it takes to fix the problem. If the problems come back, don't subject the cat to those types of treatments again.

Oh Daffy. This makes me incredibly sad. As you know, Mike and I are cat folks too. I don't know what we would do if we were faced with the same situation.

How old is Merlin? His age will certainly have bering on whether you should treat him or not. If he's an old cat, it may just be his time. If he's young and has potential for a decent life after treated, it may be worth pursuing. I'm guessing you've considered this already.

I wish I could offer good advice. I'm not sure I can. But as one owned by cats to another, I'm here for you no matter what course you and Merlin take.

Daffy:

WAITTTTTTTTTTT..........................

First, get a second opinion. We almost put our 15 year old Dog down when all it ended up being was an inner ear infection.

Even before we found out what the real cause was, we called around and spoke to, maybe a dozen vets. At first the cost of treatment for our Dogs ill (not the ear infection) was going to be $2,250.00, but after contacting many Vets, we had the price down to $1,100.00.

We took her in to start the treatments, and the Doc looked her over and found what the other missed. In the end the whole thing cost us about $180.00 including meds.

I hope this helps, had we not found this other Vet, we would have probably had the old girl put down. Now she's like a pup again

Yes, that's my first instinct. I feel like I need to at least give him a chance. He was abandoned by his owner's roommate when the owner committed suicide. My landlord asked if I'd watch him for a few days while he found a no-kill shelter to send him to. Merlin's such a sweet, lovable boy, I was a goner from the first time I saw him...and so, I took him home permanently. I don't want to abandon him now that he's sick. I don't think I'm doing this for me; I want to be sure he gets the best treatment available, and if it doesn't work; well, then I'll have to make that horrible decision.

I have a lot of confidence in my veet. They've done extensive lab work and tests (including an ultrasound!) to come to this conclusion. The vet has not suggested euthanasia. They understand the financial limitations, and left the decision to me whether to treat him or not.

I decided to go for the aggressive in-hospital treatment. This way he will get his meds efficiently and have the best chance at a recovery. He's 10, which may sound old to some people, but my last 2 kitties lived to be 18 and 21.

Thank you all for your kind words and concern. It means a lot to me.

For those who can relate to the desire to do everything for a beloved pet, would you go to extremes to save your pet? How far is too far?

Until nearly four years ago, I had a black and gray Tabby named Fearless. Fearless developed diabetes and I managed to keep him alive for two years with an insulin shot each morning and evening. Giving him the injections was relatively easy, but he developed other problems and would not let me give him pills. It was almost like he was telling me that he had had enough.

Very reluctantly, I had him put to sleep in September, 2002. I had Fearless for 13 year.

I am also a cat person. We live with twelve of them. I have certainly had to deal with illness and death, and it is never easy.

Who can say "How far is too far?" We face the same dilemma with human patients. Should families go into bankruptcy because a loved one has an illness which requires expensive treatment which only has a small chance of doing any good? There are no easy answers.

Trust your heart.

In September of 2004, my cat Buddy was hit and killed by a car. It was the most devastating thing I've ever experienced and was sent into an almost year-long mourning period. I still cry over him, but it isn't nearly as painful as it was. I still am unaware as to why his death affected me so much when other pets' deaths were easier to handle. Whatever the cause, I will never forget him and I will always miss him. In the simplest of terms, I considered him to be a soul mate. It was a bond on a completely different plane of existence. But I can't really explain it without sounding like a crazy cat person.

A few months prior to his death, we had to put down another cat. She was sick and she couldn't sleep. I now feel guilty for not having explored more options and getting a second and third opinion. The look on her face as she was taken into the back is still unsettling. Did we do the right thing? My mother believes she did not, but I pushed her to do so. The vet said that even if we spent thousands of dollars, it would only prolong the pain and inevitable death. It was very fast--within a 36-hour period, we went from a sick kitty to the question of euthanasia. I look back and think I had an indifferent attitude towards the cat. At the time, I felt like it was the best thing to do for the cat. She could not sleep at all, her heart was racing, and she was walking into walls and losing weight. I now regret my decision, but I only hope that it was the right one. I could probably drive myself crazy thinking about it. Part of our decision was driven by monetary concerns--we weren't financially well off and couldn't afford the bills that would come with the treatments. And then it wasn't even certain the cat would survive much longer.

Sometimes the death of a pet can be more traumatic than the death of a human friend. This is mostly due to the silent attachment we gain with animals--they are childlike and never grow up.

If you do opt for euthanasia, be there with the pet when they perform the injection. I regret not going back to see our cat pass away--her last image of us is letting her go with a stranger. It also can help provide a sense of peaceful closure. My mother still complains that she should have gone back to be with her. At the time, we couldn't emotionally handle it. I hate death, even if it is an inevitable conclusion.

I'm sorry to hear of your problems. This is a particularly touchy subject, especially for me. There's something an animal can provide that other people can not. And when that is gone, it can leave you feeling as empty as any other death of a close family member. I hope you are able to make the right decision; just try not to let money be your deciding factor. Like others have said, let your heart make the decision.

Much of the reason that I am not a cat person is that my Ex was too much of a cat person. However, between a year's experience working in a research lab where they did animal testing and a 22 year marriage to a woman who would pick up a stray cat and drive 400 miles to bring it home, I have had some experiences that may help.

For those who can relate to the desire to do everything for a beloved pet, would you go to extremes to save your pet? How far is too far?

I once nursed a cat back to health that we had given to someone about ten miles from our house. When it made it's way home, its head was about the size of a soccer ball. The vet said it was an infected bullet wound that had gone through its head without killing it...

To reiterate other's advice, when faced with huge medical bills, discuss your options with the doctors and get a second opinion. Is there a veterinary college nearby for instance? If the vet feels the animal is worth the money to save it, is he willing to accept a payment plan?

Then there's the practical advice on animal handling:

It helps if you have a second person who is willing to help you.

Reaching from the cat's chest area, place your index finger between the cat's two front legs, and clamp them tightly with your thumb and middle finger. Hold the rear legs tucked under your arm. This limits the cat's ability to fight what you are doing.

To force a pill, you can force the cat to open it's mouth by pressing the back of the cat's mouth with both fingers against the teeth. As it struggles, it will open it's mouth and you can press the cheeks between the teeth. At this point, you can place a pill at the back of its throat, close the mouth, hold it shut, and gently stroke its throat until it swallows.

Again, these techniques work best with two people, and your vet can probably demonstrate what I am talking about.

Alternatively, put in some volunteer time at an animal shelter until you fall in love with a healthy cat that no one else wants to adopt...

Good luck!

Is there crying allowed in debating? If not, I'm banned.

I'm reading this thead with my 2 cats lying on my desk. If I'm ever faced with similar circumstances I think my choice will be much easier. I'd have to do all I could possibly do because if anything happened to either one of these two, I couldn't even imagine what the other would be like. They are so close I find it hard to describe.

Oh man, this is so tough. My eyes are full of tears and I'm trying to type. I just glanced at them, sitting on the window seat my wife made for them. Their faces are touching, kind of like Siamese twins joined together.

I know you'll make the right decision because it's obvious how much you love him. And if heaven really is all that I think it will be, you just might meet up with him again.

Please, I meant no disrespect. Putting an animal "down" is no easy decision. I grew up on a farm, and we had to make the decision dozens of times, both with animals that provided income to the farm, and family pets, so for me the thought process has been honed a bit finer then most.

The reason that we sought a second opinion was because we did not want to put our pet to sleep, but the medical procedure was only a 50/50 gamble. Even at that, she would never have been the same. Seeing her suffer a few more years would have ultimately been more painful to her and us, then putting her to sleep.

No, I am NOT saying, that in your case this would be appropriate. I simply do not know enough, just wanted to explain my post.

I hope the Cat comes through with flying colors, and the two of you love each other for many more years!

Oh, I'm so sorry. *misty* This topic gets to me too, since as my signature indicates, I am DEFINITELY a cat person.

I may be placing my neck on a block here, but to me, if I have to give a cat shots and medicine every day, well, that's no kind of a normal life. I can't compare it to a human loved one because you can EXPLAIN to a human why they need shots and pills. A cat only knows that you have to hurt him/her every day for some unknown reason.

If any of my three were that sick, I think I would put them down. But I would hasten to say that I'm kind of a wimp. I couldn't bear to have to give my babies shots or subject them to invasive treatment.

I guess what it comes down to is, like Victoria Silverwolf said, trust your heart. You know what you can take -- and you can try to imagine what your cat can take.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Oh Daffy.....

You and I don't agree on much in the world of politics, but when it comes to pets we're true soul-mates. I wish I had an easy answer for you on this one, but I really don't. I would definitely seek a second opinion though as some have suggested here. I know you like your vet and you trust them and knowing how you feel about animals I would consider that a ringing endorsement. But, different vets have different ideas on things like this. There is no harm in finding out if someone else might not have some different (and less costly) ideas on how to treat Merlin. The vet I use for my 3 dogs and 2 cats is up here in Burbank at the VCA animal hospital and I'd be happy to give you their number if you'd like to see what they have to say. There's also a clinic out in Simi Valley that I used to use that is fabulous and I'd be happy to share that information with you as well. I once had a dog with Parvo and they worked a miracle with her.

Before you make a decision, I think you need another good opinion. If for no other reason that you'll know you did the right thing. Send me a PM and I'll give you the information about the best vets I know in the LA area.

My 20-year-old tabby now requires medicine every day. I've figured out a way to give him drops by putting them on that salmon-flavored hairball goo (which he likes). This has to be really tough for you - good luck.

Sorry I haven't responded in so long, but it has been a very busy week. Merlin is home from the hospital. He has a rigid food/meds regimen made somewhat easier by the feeding tube. Every 2 hours there is medicine or food (or both) that has to be given. Thank goodness my mom agreed to extend her stay to help me take care of him. I have to go to work and bring home the paycheck to pay for all this!!

Every minute of every day I wonder whether I've done the right thing. But, he is looking stronger and more alert and interested in his surroundings (and occasionally grumpy, which I'm actually glad to see!). That gives me hope for his recovery.

Vibiana, before this I would have felt the same way (wimpish), but I've been amazed at what I'm capable of doing (blending stinky kitty food and putting it thru a feeding tube, giving injections).

Aquilla, the vet in Burbank you mention sounds like one I may have used when I lived in the valley. I had to act fast, and using my regular vet was the most expedient option. Thank you for the offer, though. I truly appreciate it.

passion51, I misted up reading your post. Thank you. May your babies be blessed with good health (and lots of loves!).

carlitoswhey, I didn't know you had a kitty! And a "senior citizen" at that.

I'm sure I missed some of you, but again, thank you everyone for your well wishes.

Looks like I'm seeing this thread a little late. I too have a cat who, am I not afraid to say, I love. I'm glad, Daffy, you chose to go with the treatment option. Just the thought of losing my feline friend makes me uncomfortable and sad. One thing that is worth considering is getting health insurance for your cat; you may wish to ask your vet about this. Anyway, I hope Merlin continues to respond well to the treatment and keep us posted...

DaffyGrl Wow, I really feel for you! I have a kitty too, she has been with me since I moved out of my parents house. When my childhood dog died I, like others who lost pets here, mourned. I still miss him!

How is Merlin doing? I am thinking of him! Hope he gets better soon!

Thanks, everyone, for the concern about Merlin. Just to give you all an update; we've been adjusting the dosage on his insulin and other meds for the last couple of weeks to find a good balance so he keeps his food down and puts on some weight. I think we found a successful "formula", and he looks a little brighter and more like himself. He's certainly regaining his voice (he's always been a talkative fellow)! He's lost an awful lot of weight (5.5 lbs), but I think we may have turned a corner...at least I hope so.

I am amazed at how many diabetic pets there are out there. I've been spending so much time at the vet's office, I talk to a lot of "pet parents" who also have diabetic cats or dogs. I guess the obesity crisis in this country isn't limited to just people! So, here's my lecture for the day: if you're tabby is tubby, try to put him/her on a diet. The most at-risk kitties for a Merlin-type situation are overweight males.

I keep meaning to ask Jaime or Mike if I could post a picture of Merlin. I will try to do that this weekend.

And doesn't it just figure...there are two stray kitties roaming around my area. One looks like a pregnant mama, and the other is just an itty-bitty thing that actually looks like a munchkin cat; it has very short legs. It's cute as all get-out. Anybody else out there have that "kitty magnet" thing going on where every stray for miles around gravitates toward you?

Today is a very sad day for me. Merlin took a turn for the worse this weekend - I think his poor liver just couldn't function anymore. This morning, I said goodbye to my big, lovable, funny, talkative, cuddly moose of a cat as he went to sleep for the last time. I know it was the right thing to do, but oh, god, I'm going to miss him so much. I know it's selfish, but my home feels so empty, and my heart aches so much for him.

Loving pets can be so hard...

Give all your pets a big hug and kiss. Their time with us is so short, but so very precious.

Aww Daffy....

This news breaks my heart. (((hugs)))

Take comfort in your memories of him, the unconditional love and loyalty that only a dedicated owner and pet can know. Any time spent with a loving pet is time well spent, no matter how short.

Sorry to see what happened to your furry friend as i had to go thru something similiar several months back.

One of my lab's that I got 13 years ago that we found out had hip dysplasia when she was only 6 months old in both hips showed me what one can overcome. We never had to get surgery for her because our family vet for over 30 years and us saw she was learning to adapt to overcome her difficulty by becoming stronger in the front of her body to make up for her problem.

When she was younger she was so strong she would run from one side of our yard to the other knocking down our other labs. She was never in pain or we would have done surgery to fix her hips, as well sometimes she was able to do things that suprised us and the vets to make us have to relook at the x-rays to confirm she did have hip dysplasia. because dogs with hip dysplasia shouldn't be able to do things she was able to do like dogs without hip dysplasia.

One of her favorite things was sliding down a kiddie slide we bought after she would slide down me when I would be leaning against a couch on the floor. We never thought she would like the slide but to our amazement she loved it and would slide down it alot on her own. Was almost like our earlier labs that would go down the tornado slide with me when I was alot younger.

Sometime she would lose her balance and limp a couple of days so when she did last year i was concerned about her and watched over her, but a day later I noticed she wasn't rebounding like she used to do and able to walk on her own. So we took her to the emergency room to find out she had a cancer growing on her liver as well as some nerve damage in one of her front legs, which the doctors didn't give her very long especially since she couldn't walk. The next day we took her to our vets to get an ultra sound to figure out our next course of action.

To our surprise with my help I was able to teach her how to get up on her own if she was lying on the wrong side by rolling over to her stronger side, eventually she was walking and up like nothing happened. Even though we knew the cancer was to far she did make a full recovery from the actual incident of her not able to get up or walk that brought us to the emergency room in the first place. Unfortunately 3 months later her belly became full with blood cause of the cancer and I had to say good bye to my baby, and am glad I did stay with her during the procedure even though it was hard to watch because she meant so much to me. I have had both dogs and cats thru my entire live and it is a truely an unconditional love that pet owners fell for their furry friends.

I am sure his last thoughts were of the love he felt from you. My thoughts are with you.

Take Care

Red

Daff, I'm so sorry about Merlin.

I'm an animal person, myself, and it's never easy to let them go. They become such an important part of life, and then they're gone, but at least you had the chance to be with Merlin for a time. He sounds like a wonderful kitty.

(((Hugs)))

I am sorry too, Daffy. Losing a beloved pet can feel like losing a sibling or a child. I hope you can find comfort in knowing that he felt the love you gave him.

You have my best wishes during this difficult time. Never doubt that you did the right thing.