Girls wearing make-up and developing earlier. 8-10 year olds going on "dates" Horrified parents and profesionals. 10 is the new 15

Questions for debate:

1.)Is this a worrisome development or something that is predictable?

2.)Is lax parenting to blame for these kids who want extra privileges and the like?

3.)What is going on?

I have to admit I don't believe it entirely, that 10 is the new 15. Dear me I hope when my kids are 10 they haven't done what I had by 15....ack! They always say things like this....schools fail girls, schools fail boys etc. I just don't believe it.

What I think is kids are more consumerized than they were before, but I don't believe morally or developmentally they are so much more advanced. In fact I was chatting with some mums today about High School Musical, my 7 and 8 yr olds LOVE it, know all the words etc. Another mum with only boys did not know what it was so I told her it is like this generation's Grease, but much, much more wholesome. I mean I LOVED Grease when I was the same age as my kids, listened to the record, learned all the lyrics and really today that is a movie that would be labeled inappropriate in my home for my own children.

There are somethings I do notice different, a good example would be bras. Girls at my children's ages wear bras, my kids are asking me for them all the time. They see it as some cool cute girly thing to wear. And again I think this has more to do with our consumerist society and the acceptance now for companies to directly reach out and speak to our children, and tell them what they need, like bras, than it has to actually do with with young girls development.

I agree with Bucket. My child is nearly nine, and he certainly isn't nine going on 13-14. A LOT would have to happen in the next year to make him change that much. I think this is the sentiment of adults who either: 1) Don't remember what things were like at 10. 2) Don't keep proper tabs on what their children are up to during the day. If you seriously don't want your kid to listen to (or sing) "Sick Boy", don't play it and/or don't let him hang around with folks who do. If you don't want your daughter to wear makeup at 10, don't let her. And when I was ten lots of girls were experimenting with makeup so I don't see how this is any different... like Bucket, I loved Grease and owned the soundtrack/watched the movie until it wore out. I was about nine years old and we (the kids in the neighborhood) even wrote our own skits related to the movie and had my father film them (with a cumbersome 60 pound camera system). We wore makeup and dressed like adults...pretended to smoke to play our characters.

I'll go further (and then answer the questions). I was sheltered compared to my husband, who had an older sister. He was dipping tobacco at nine years old and drinking beer on his roof at around eleven years old. This isn't something I'd recommend for children, but he survived and in real terms of maturity he didn't catch up to me (though he's a bit older) until a couple of years ago.

Now for the questions (sorry, I might repeat myself here...):

1.)Is this a worrisome development or something that is predictable?

It's predictable. Kids are kids. The only thing that worries me is a lack of guidance on the parents part. If the child is doing things the parent couldn't see coming their is a fair chance they aren't paying close enough attention. By that time it might also be too late. And kids WANT parents to restrict their behavior (within reason). They want limits and a parent who cares enough to give it to them. There are no effective "cool parents", just as there are no effective "cool bosses" or "cool teachers". Of course, there are teachers you love but that is because they are fair and reasonable and push you to do more than you thought you were capable of, not because they have few expectations and try to act like you.

2.)Is lax parenting to blame for these kids who want extra privileges and the like?

I think so.

I'll add something now that doesn't often come up and I think does tend to be true, physiologically. More children are reaching puberty faster. The trend has been connected to rising levels of obesity (and I believe hormones in food as well ). This is a real problem.

1.)Is this a worrisome development or something that is predictable?
2.)Is lax parenting to blame for these kids who want extra privileges and the like?

As the parent of a 12 year old girl, I can tell you that some of this is happening. But as a former 12 year old, I will tell you that's it has been happening since I was a kid over 20 years ago.



That's exactly it. Kids are part kid, part teenager starting from the age of 9 or 10. A lot of it has to do with who the kids hang out with. If you have a 15 year old brother, you are going to be exposed to things that 15 year olds do and try to mimic them. If you are the oldest, or more sheltered, then you are less likely to start acting like a teen at age 10.

I do think parental supervision has a lot to do with it. My daughter's school friends run the gamut between apparent angels and apparent hooligans. It seems to be highly influenced by the parents.

An example: I coach a 6th grade girls basketball team. After practice, some girls have their parents pick them up, others head out with their friends (technically against school policy, but if they leave right after practice there isn't much I can do.) If a girl is waiting, I wait with them (again, school policy). It is the girls that come late or their parents don't show up to get them who are the ones I would deem "problem children". Sure it's anecdotal but it's all I have to go on.

Kids are exposed to much more racy ideas sooner in life these days. In some ways, however, they are more sheltered which makes things worse. They watch late night Cinemax (Skin-e-max) and can't talk to anyone about what they've seen. They don't interact with their neighbors as much. They don't go outside as much.

I know that I did things at 12 that my daughter would never even have the opportunity to do, simply because we don't let her out of our sight. She is almost always with an adult. Hopefully, we haven't sheltered her too much, since that is when problems occur in my estimation.

Bottom line: this stuff has always happened. Kids grew up fast before and even though they are exposed to more now, they are still part kid, part teenager. The more things change, the more things stay the same.

1.)Is this a worrisome development or something that is predictable?

Both. It is, unfortunately, a self-correcting problem. Reality will eventually rise up, create some hard times again, and society will adapt and kids will then change. As I state below, I think this is essentially a symptom of prosperity.

2.)Is lax parenting to blame for these kids who want extra privileges and the like?

My daughter would fall into this category. She hit puberty at 7. Not sure what lax parenting has to do with that...what, I was supposed to ground her genes? As for the extra priveleges, etc. I would agree that kids today expect (demand?) more than we did when I was growing up. A symptom of prosperity, I think.

3.)What is going on?

See above. Also, the general lack of responsibility within society, and the failure to think that one might actually have to work for something in order to get it. I also think there is a general lack of respect for authority and for elders. When I was growing up, I wouldn't have dreamed of speaking back to either my parents, or any adult. In fact, I would have been scared of the very thought. Kids now seem to do it as a matter of course. Maybe we need to bring back the paddle? This change seems to me to coincide exactly with the anti-spanking push. Just something to think about.

I think that kids biologically are maturing a bit faster than they did when I was a kid. But it's not as dramatic as 10 is what 15 has been. I have a 15 year old daughter and 17 year old son. In one case, she is ahead of other girls and in the other, he's physically behind some of the boys.

Kids are experiencing adult issues and topics much faster but that's a result of the information age, the fact that most women work and are not "at home moms", and the generaly liberalization of our society.

What is, is. I just try to deal with the reality and impress on my kids the importance of wise personal choices, and that THEY, not society, not someone else are responsible for THEIR choices and their action. I believe my wife and I have given them a solid moral basis, and have reinforced our beliefs that education is an important value along with responsible behavior.

So far, I have no complaints.

Raising kids is hard. And hard work isn't easy. It's a lot easier, though, when there are 2 parents involved and that's the disaster of the entire left-wing-driven sexual/feminist/easy divorce revolution that occured during the 1970's.

Whenever I see a troubled kid in my neck of the woods, it's almost always the product of a broken home. When one looks to other communites like the city of Detroit (in my state), broken homes are the norm, out of wedlock birthrates are almost 80%, and the result is a complete and utter disaster.

Kids grow up faster today than they did in the 1960's. And we grew up faster than kids in the 1950's. The only thing constant is change.

Questions for debate:

1.)Is this a worrisome development or something that is predictable?
The link did not work and so I am not sure where this is happening. I have 2 11yr old boys who have never even considered a “date” and I hear nothing of this locally. In fact my just turned 16 yr old boy has never even mentioned girls much less a date. You must be referring to girls?

2.)Is lax parenting to blame for these kids who want extra privileges and the like?

At that age parents control. IMO any parent that allows this is an idiot – period.