Full Version: Boys vs. Girls
Who is easier to raise? Boys or Girls?
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a girl?
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a boy?
If you have a boy and a girl, do your treat your kids differently, based on gender? And how do you justify your decisions?
(please be specific to the ages you are talking about)
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a girl?
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a boy?
If you have a boy and a girl, do your treat your kids differently, based on gender? And how do you justify your decisions?
(please be specific to the ages you are talking about)
My boys ( I have 2 boys and 1 girl) are by far easier, but i think that it has more to do with the indiviual personality of each child. of course in a few year my oldest son is 11 i may change my tune.
QUOTE(doomed_planet @ Mar 3 2007, 02:52 PM) 
Who is easier to raise? Boys or Girls?
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a girl?
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a boy?
If you have a boy and a girl, do your treat your kids differently, based on gender? And how do you justify your decisions?
(please be specific to the ages you are talking about)
OMG Boys are soooooooo much easier.
My Danny is 7 (8 in May) and Sophie just turned 3 in February.
Danny is that perfect kid. Reads at high-school level. We're getting tutors in to teach him Spanish & German. Star of his class. Super kid. Little sucky at sports but it's clear that he's getting to it.
Sophia is Satan. Clearly she's evil There's no question. She's really cute and at 3 she knows it gets her a pass to bat her eyes or say something funny after she's put a shiv in your spine. Pure unadulterated evil. But so cute.
QUOTE(GuardianAngel @ Mar 3 2007, 05:09 PM)
My boys ( I have 2 boys and 1 girl) are by far easier, but i think that it has more to do with the indiviual personality of each child. of course in a few year my oldest son is 11 i may change my tune.
That's been my experience too, regarding children's personalities. Some are simply better at not getting caught
Yep, 11 seems to be the age when trouble starts up. I remember wishing for the reversible lobotomy, to be undone at 18. The teen years separate the parents from the sane in this world. My highest respect goes to those parents who live to tell the story.
Who is easier to raise? Boys or Girls?
From my experience, boys are much easier to raise in many different ways. I have two boys, myself and no girls. Yet my two closest friends have only girls. I see the troubles they have and it doesn't look fun. My oldest is nine and the girls that are his age can be very "clique-ish". One day, you're in, the next day you're the girl that's not in. It's rather brutal. You don't see that with boys.
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a girl?
Girls have the same issues that women have, but on a smaller scale. By an early age, they seem to understand that their phyiscal features are very important. Heaven help the chubby girls of the world.
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a boy?
Maybe I'm completely biased, but I have no real issues with my boys. They are just your typical boys. They want to exert their physical force in the world, have fun, and so on. What you see is what you get. Boys are eaiser to satisfy. Feed them well and your work is almost done!
If you have a boy and a girl, do your treat your kids differently, based on gender? And how do you justify your decisions?
I grew up with a brother and, looking back, he was much easier to raise. There wasn't the complex emotional stuff that you see with girls, especially when they hit the teenage years.
From my experience, boys are much easier to raise in many different ways. I have two boys, myself and no girls. Yet my two closest friends have only girls. I see the troubles they have and it doesn't look fun. My oldest is nine and the girls that are his age can be very "clique-ish". One day, you're in, the next day you're the girl that's not in. It's rather brutal. You don't see that with boys.
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a girl?
Girls have the same issues that women have, but on a smaller scale. By an early age, they seem to understand that their phyiscal features are very important. Heaven help the chubby girls of the world.
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a boy?
Maybe I'm completely biased, but I have no real issues with my boys. They are just your typical boys. They want to exert their physical force in the world, have fun, and so on. What you see is what you get. Boys are eaiser to satisfy. Feed them well and your work is almost done!
If you have a boy and a girl, do your treat your kids differently, based on gender? And how do you justify your decisions?
I grew up with a brother and, looking back, he was much easier to raise. There wasn't the complex emotional stuff that you see with girls, especially when they hit the teenage years.
Who are harder to raise girls or boys?
Good Question. I have 2 girls and 1 son.
I think girls are much more emotional entering puberty.
But I think I kind of knew what to expect. I am one of 5 girls growing up.
No Boys in this house!!! Poor Old Dad!!!!
Now my kids are grown. Thank God!!!
Gettng back to who are harder to raise.
The 2 girls were more emotional a little earlier but my son went through the same thing only a little later.
I have heard so far that the children that have been talked about are from 3 to 11.
You think they are bad now ?????
Oh just wait till they hit 13- 18.
You don't know Jack!!!
GOOD LUCK!!!
I do have to say it does get better, and I think my I am blessed with the greatest kids on earth.
Patiences is a Virtue. Use them!
Good Question. I have 2 girls and 1 son.
I think girls are much more emotional entering puberty.
But I think I kind of knew what to expect. I am one of 5 girls growing up.
No Boys in this house!!! Poor Old Dad!!!!
Now my kids are grown. Thank God!!!
Gettng back to who are harder to raise.
The 2 girls were more emotional a little earlier but my son went through the same thing only a little later.
I have heard so far that the children that have been talked about are from 3 to 11.
You think they are bad now ?????
Oh just wait till they hit 13- 18.
You don't know Jack!!!
GOOD LUCK!!!
I do have to say it does get better, and I think my I am blessed with the greatest kids on earth.
Patiences is a Virtue. Use them!
I don't think gender plays any role into who reads better or at a higher grade level. I am offended by the comments that hint to this.
Also how typical to see a discussion about gender and to have to endure the usual eeewww girls and their periods argument. Men/boys/males are emotional too.
Yes girls socialize differently than boys, but how much of that is gender based and how much of that is social conditioning?
I think raising girls is harder not because of what their gender brings but because of what social pressures society places on them based on their gender. Boys have many social expectations too but girls seem to have a lot more.
Also how typical to see a discussion about gender and to have to endure the usual eeewww girls and their periods argument. Men/boys/males are emotional too.
Yes girls socialize differently than boys, but how much of that is gender based and how much of that is social conditioning?
I think raising girls is harder not because of what their gender brings but because of what social pressures society places on them based on their gender. Boys have many social expectations too but girls seem to have a lot more.
QUOTE(buckdet)
I don't think gender plays any role into who reads better or at a higher grade level. I am offended by the comments that hint to this.
Should we get you a chair so you can sit down until the vapors pass? 
QUOTE
Also how typical to see a discussion about gender and to have to endure the usual eeewww girls and their periods argument. Men/boys/males are emotional too.
Nobody said anything about periods, you're really projecting here.QUOTE
Yes girls socialize differently than boys, but how much of that is gender based and how much of that is social conditioning?
None of its gender based. Most of it is sex based. Gender is a social construct, or haven't you been paying attention in Liberation from Patriarchy 101 class? heck, until the early 70's, gender was nothing more than a grammar term. QUOTE
I think raising girls is harder not because of what their gender brings but because of what social pressures society places on them based on their gender.
Well, sounds like you haven't been sleeping all the time in LfP101 after all. Here's a cluebyfour, girls are more difficult to raise because they're girls, nothing more, nothing less. That doesn't mean that all girls are more difficult, far from it, its simply a generalization. Its not the fault of society, its biology. It doesn't mean that girls are intrinsically less worthy, if anything, the practical effect may be the opposite. Just listen to the radio, there's a whole lot more songs about the joys and trials of raising little girls than there are of raising little boys.Based on my experience, both growing up with a brother and two sisters, and having a daughter and three sons, girls are more difficult because they're more emotionally complex. As a parent, I am blessed in that pretty much all the bad drama surrounding child raising was when I was a kid.
As a childless woman I am going to going to go out on a limb here and audaciously suggest there is no difference based on gender or sex. A child’s plumbing doesn’t make her more emotionally complex (how insulting to men to suggest it does), more prone to violent behavior, more prone to being a troublemaker, more likely to be “nice”, etc. The X/Y male chromosomes don’t have a monopoly on un/desirable behavior a parent loathes/hopes for and I doubt we will ever be able to genetically identify personality traits after DNA recombination.
Everyone likes the inherent “wisdom” of anecdotal stories. Here’s mine. I was an angel, literally an angel in a very dysfunctional household compared to my stepbrothers, yet for some reason my parents came down harder on me, I’m sure, because I was a girl. To their way of thinking being female and young was a recipe for trouble. Fortunately for me, I also had an independent streak. I loved playing with the boys and rebuffed my mother’s tugs towards what I can only describe as “mentorship into female friendship”. A few months ago my fiancé mentioned if we’d have kids he prefers a girl because they are (paraphrasing) “more sociable and altruistic”. I rolled my eyes and described all the ways you can dissect a lizard, roaches and other bugs with a few sewing needles and a steak knife. Social constructs are powerful things. They diminish free will and sustain generalities in the face of increasing nonconformity.
Everyone likes the inherent “wisdom” of anecdotal stories. Here’s mine. I was an angel, literally an angel in a very dysfunctional household compared to my stepbrothers, yet for some reason my parents came down harder on me, I’m sure, because I was a girl. To their way of thinking being female and young was a recipe for trouble. Fortunately for me, I also had an independent streak. I loved playing with the boys and rebuffed my mother’s tugs towards what I can only describe as “mentorship into female friendship”. A few months ago my fiancé mentioned if we’d have kids he prefers a girl because they are (paraphrasing) “more sociable and altruistic”. I rolled my eyes and described all the ways you can dissect a lizard, roaches and other bugs with a few sewing needles and a steak knife. Social constructs are powerful things. They diminish free will and sustain generalities in the face of increasing nonconformity.
QUOTE(BaphometsAdvocate @ Mar 4 2007, 03:05 AM)
QUOTE(doomed_planet @ Mar 3 2007, 02:52 PM)
Who is easier to raise? Boys or Girls?
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a girl?
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a boy?
If you have a boy and a girl, do your treat your kids differently, based on gender? And how do you justify your decisions?
(please be specific to the ages you are talking about)
OMG Boys are soooooooo much easier.
My Danny is 7 (8 in May) and Sophie just turned 3 in February.
Danny is that perfect kid. Reads at high-school level. We're getting tutors in to teach him Spanish & German. Star of his class. Super kid. Little sucky at sports but it's clear that he's getting to it.
Sophia is Satan. Clearly she's evil There's no question. She's really cute and at 3 she knows it gets her a pass to bat her eyes or say something funny after she's put a shiv in your spine. Pure unadulterated evil. But so cute.
You may think that boys are "soooooooo" much easier to raise but in my family, (which is all boys)it's chaos!
My brother who claims to be a super genius and probably is is the one who drives my dad insane. now, i have never had a sister but i think what you may be saying about your Sophia may be a bit over rated.Now tell me, does she throw 5-pound weights at you or competely destroy your home? If Sophia does do this then maybe you aren't raising her properly or she has issues you need to solve
No opinion from me on these questions, as I have no experience with children and no desire to ever have any experience.
I merely wish to point out how interesting it is that some people are absolutely certain that girls are harder to raise and other people are absolutely certain that girls are harder to raise. Doesn't this tell you something? Isn't it clear that the most important fact of which to be aware is that children are individuals?
I merely wish to point out how interesting it is that some people are absolutely certain that girls are harder to raise and other people are absolutely certain that girls are harder to raise. Doesn't this tell you something? Isn't it clear that the most important fact of which to be aware is that children are individuals?
This should not have turned into a debate on sex/gender roles but I guess it was unavoidable.
I chose that girls are more difficult to raise. I have no children but I have seven nieces and nephews, I teach middle school and coach high school athletics. I am surrounded by all age groups, all sexes, ALL YEAR LONG. It has been my experience that girls are must more complex social creatures.
I'll not bother linking study after study (but can if anyone would like) but it has been shown time and again that as early as three years old girls practice something referred to as "relational aggression". The irony is that this type of aggression was discovered by some researchers who had a feminist leaning and were trying to disprove a previous study's findings that early male aggression was genetic and not learned. They found that, not only were girls also displaying seemingly genetic differences, but that they were even more aggressive than the three year old boys.
This aggression (readily observed by poor BaphometsAdvocate ) is much more subtle than a shove and far more effective. By exercising a much more refined sense of social hierarchy and interpersonal relationships girls are able to flex their might with subtle cues: winks, turned backs, sharp one-liners, smiles and measured interactions with peers. They are quickly able to create a sense of union or isolation in an individual. Because other girls are more sensitive to these affectations (and boys are otherwise occupied breaking things) other girls are usually the most affected by these social machinations.
The point is this: Girls are much more socially aware and therefore sensitive than boys (usually). We ARE working with generalities here folks. It is likely that many of us can produce exceptions....
Don't take the word "sensitive" as an offensive remark please...because it is not. Being sensitive to social complexities is a strength. While I find many more challenges coaching my girls' track team (and yes, I do have to battle some of the stigmas they have learned from society) I get much more reward. My girls are much more aware of their teammates' feelings and problems. One of my seniors is always able to make me aware of a problem on the team before something goes really wrong. With a boys team you would never know if one of them had a problem until there was a meltdown or a physical fight.
I chose that girls are more difficult to raise. I have no children but I have seven nieces and nephews, I teach middle school and coach high school athletics. I am surrounded by all age groups, all sexes, ALL YEAR LONG. It has been my experience that girls are must more complex social creatures.
I'll not bother linking study after study (but can if anyone would like) but it has been shown time and again that as early as three years old girls practice something referred to as "relational aggression". The irony is that this type of aggression was discovered by some researchers who had a feminist leaning and were trying to disprove a previous study's findings that early male aggression was genetic and not learned. They found that, not only were girls also displaying seemingly genetic differences, but that they were even more aggressive than the three year old boys.
This aggression (readily observed by poor BaphometsAdvocate ) is much more subtle than a shove and far more effective. By exercising a much more refined sense of social hierarchy and interpersonal relationships girls are able to flex their might with subtle cues: winks, turned backs, sharp one-liners, smiles and measured interactions with peers. They are quickly able to create a sense of union or isolation in an individual. Because other girls are more sensitive to these affectations (and boys are otherwise occupied breaking things) other girls are usually the most affected by these social machinations.
The point is this: Girls are much more socially aware and therefore sensitive than boys (usually). We ARE working with generalities here folks. It is likely that many of us can produce exceptions....
Don't take the word "sensitive" as an offensive remark please...because it is not. Being sensitive to social complexities is a strength. While I find many more challenges coaching my girls' track team (and yes, I do have to battle some of the stigmas they have learned from society) I get much more reward. My girls are much more aware of their teammates' feelings and problems. One of my seniors is always able to make me aware of a problem on the team before something goes really wrong. With a boys team you would never know if one of them had a problem until there was a meltdown or a physical fight.
QUOTE(doomed_planet @ Mar 3 2007, 03:52 PM)
Who is easier to raise? Boys or Girls?
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a girl?
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a boy?
If you have a boy and a girl, do your treat your kids differently, based on gender? And how do you justify your decisions?
(please be specific to the ages you are talking about)
Gotta love the boys – I have three, 2 12s (non identicle twins) and a 16 and they are great. I have a good friend who has three girls and a boy and says the girls are harder especially whern they hit puberty – which they do sooner than boys.
Still we wish we had at least One girl. Oh well.
Who is easier to raise? Boys or Girls?
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a girl?
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a boy?
If you have a boy and a girl, do your treat your kids differently, based on gender? And how do you justify your decisions?
I raised three boys which, compared to the stories I've heard from my friends, seemed wonderful and fun! I've had many foster children though, some of whom were female. These girls came to my house damaged, or after they already had developed many personal "issues", largely stemming from very poor home lives. I have no direct experience with a girl of my own. As someone already posted, I have noticed that girls become more difficult as they approach puberty and the teenage years, especially with regard to the relationship with their mothers.
I will say one thing though definitely, and that is if I had it to do over again I would never purchase them each an automobile when they reached the age of 16! That was a huge mistake and one I would never repeat. I would never permit televisions or computers in their rooms. All such items would remain in the family common areas. Just a thought or two for the young parents out there to ponder.
Also, if I had to choose to have all my children be one sex, I would pick boys hands down! I loved every minute of it!
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a girl?
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a boy?
If you have a boy and a girl, do your treat your kids differently, based on gender? And how do you justify your decisions?
I raised three boys which, compared to the stories I've heard from my friends, seemed wonderful and fun! I've had many foster children though, some of whom were female. These girls came to my house damaged, or after they already had developed many personal "issues", largely stemming from very poor home lives. I have no direct experience with a girl of my own. As someone already posted, I have noticed that girls become more difficult as they approach puberty and the teenage years, especially with regard to the relationship with their mothers.
I will say one thing though definitely, and that is if I had it to do over again I would never purchase them each an automobile when they reached the age of 16! That was a huge mistake and one I would never repeat. I would never permit televisions or computers in their rooms. All such items would remain in the family common areas. Just a thought or two for the young parents out there to ponder.
Also, if I had to choose to have all my children be one sex, I would pick boys hands down! I loved every minute of it!
QUOTE(ottimista @ Mar 16 2007, 03:29 PM)
I would never permit televisions or computers in their rooms.
Just out of curiosity, why? If there 16 or so, afraid their going to spend too many late nights chugging soda and playing computer games? Seems like an unnecessary concern.
QUOTE(Ted @ Mar 16 2007, 02:21 PM)
Gotta love the boys – I have three, 2 12s (non identicle twins) and a 16 and they are great. I have a good friend who has three girls and a boy and says the girls are harder especially whern they hit puberty – which they do sooner than boys.
Still we wish we had at least One girl. Oh well.
I love my boys, too. And if I have a third I would be quite happy with another boy.
QUOTE(BecomingHuman @ Mar 16 2007, 06:19 PM)
Just out of curiosity, why? If there 16 or so, afraid their going to spend too many late nights chugging soda and playing computer games? Seems like an unnecessary concern.
I agree with ottomista. I would never allow my kids to have a tv or computer in their bedrooms
because too much tv, internet, etc. would get in the way of other things they should be doing (like reading, sleeping, homework, etc.)
Who is easier to raise? Boys or Girls?
Tough question. I have three. Daughter 8, son 6 and daughter soon to be 2. Right now it's a tie. Actually right now it's the 2 year old girl who is the most difficult but that is because she is the only one up and is presently chanting daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy.
Prior to five I think boys are more difficult. Harder to potty train, more prone to hit, more prone to write all over the walls. But we are having troubles in all three of those areas with our youngest daughter.
But like the weather in Chicago, check with me again in ten minutes it will be someone and something else.
My one wish was not to have a pack of boys. I have seen the wolfpack families among my friends and while I love some of it, that is just too much.
My oldest daughter is extremely opinionated and emotional and she doesn't believe much in rules when no adult is watching. She seems to have some difficulty getting friends her age.
My son is most prone to whine incessantly until things go his way. But he is a social animal and seems to have won the hearts of those in his class with almost no parental support in that area. (teams, sleepovers, play dates)
My 2 year old is beginning to assert her independence and is also at risk of being spoiled the the five others living in the house.
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a girl?
I fit in the emotionally complicated stereotype here. I don't say this with value judgment. But girls just aren't binary and one needs to find the nuances of behaviors and responses and really learn how to empathize to keep up with our oldest daughter.
My oldest seems to be on her way to being a very attractive girl who worries about being able to fit in. In my experience watching young women (that sounds kind of creepy huh?) in my generation and then in college towns (stayed in college way too long) and now in high school classrooms, this is a consistently painful combination.
They are prone to being exploited by young men who amplify their insecurities and treat them horribly. I have seen young women dragged into bad places by young men who are going in the wrong direction now for 20 years and I would hate to see it happen to one of my daughters. I get 5 or ten years to continue to dread this.
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a boy?
I think the hardest thing in terms of stereotypical gender issues is to get the boys focused on working for the future.
If you have a boy and a girl, do your treat your kids differently, based on gender? And how do you justify your decisions?
There are some differences that are because of biological difference. I think we are much more likely to order our daughter to cover herself up than our son. I will worry about both getting involved in a pregnancy in their teens, but I will likely watch over my daughter more intently than my son in this area. This is not because I don;t think that boys can get involved in a pregnancy that will alter their lives forever, but because of my daughter's present insecurities and the conditions described above.
Tough question. I have three. Daughter 8, son 6 and daughter soon to be 2. Right now it's a tie. Actually right now it's the 2 year old girl who is the most difficult but that is because she is the only one up and is presently chanting daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy.
Prior to five I think boys are more difficult. Harder to potty train, more prone to hit, more prone to write all over the walls. But we are having troubles in all three of those areas with our youngest daughter.
But like the weather in Chicago, check with me again in ten minutes it will be someone and something else.
My one wish was not to have a pack of boys. I have seen the wolfpack families among my friends and while I love some of it, that is just too much.
My oldest daughter is extremely opinionated and emotional and she doesn't believe much in rules when no adult is watching. She seems to have some difficulty getting friends her age.
My son is most prone to whine incessantly until things go his way. But he is a social animal and seems to have won the hearts of those in his class with almost no parental support in that area. (teams, sleepovers, play dates)
My 2 year old is beginning to assert her independence and is also at risk of being spoiled the the five others living in the house.
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a girl?
I fit in the emotionally complicated stereotype here. I don't say this with value judgment. But girls just aren't binary and one needs to find the nuances of behaviors and responses and really learn how to empathize to keep up with our oldest daughter.
My oldest seems to be on her way to being a very attractive girl who worries about being able to fit in. In my experience watching young women (that sounds kind of creepy huh?) in my generation and then in college towns (stayed in college way too long) and now in high school classrooms, this is a consistently painful combination.
They are prone to being exploited by young men who amplify their insecurities and treat them horribly. I have seen young women dragged into bad places by young men who are going in the wrong direction now for 20 years and I would hate to see it happen to one of my daughters. I get 5 or ten years to continue to dread this.
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a boy?
I think the hardest thing in terms of stereotypical gender issues is to get the boys focused on working for the future.
If you have a boy and a girl, do your treat your kids differently, based on gender? And how do you justify your decisions?
There are some differences that are because of biological difference. I think we are much more likely to order our daughter to cover herself up than our son. I will worry about both getting involved in a pregnancy in their teens, but I will likely watch over my daughter more intently than my son in this area. This is not because I don;t think that boys can get involved in a pregnancy that will alter their lives forever, but because of my daughter's present insecurities and the conditions described above.
Who is easier to raise? Boys or Girls?
Girls till puberty- boys after puberty.
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a girl?
Oh Gawd- there are so many, being a single father of only the best girl in the universe (of course, I am NOT biased towards her at all)- but there are so many things- being a parent is the most rewarding, and therefore, the most challenging thing, you can ever attempt. Coming from a guy that does extreme sports at 42
- with the girl, I am saying self esteem issues. It sure is hard to teach a girl to find her self worth from within instead of external validation. I have seen it from every angle now- and that seems to be the kicker. So, I walk on eggshells with my little girl, very careful about HOW i reproach bad behavior, so I make sure she know she has done WRONG because of a choice- NOT because she is defective.
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a boy?
ugh- the aggression! My little girl came first, my boy second. I treated them no differently as babies, and I have only begun to play with them differently- because they demand it, not me. Channeling that agression into postive behaviors is tough!
If you have a boy and a girl, do your treat your kids differently, based on gender? And how do you justify your decisions?
hmm, only in the most subtle ways. I channel my boys energy, I encourage my daughters- that could be said about everything I do with them. They both are in the same sports and activities- but how I help them excell in school and sports is adjusted according to THIER needs, not to my preconcieved notions on gender differences- I can tell what my child needs and doesn't need- I let them dictate that through thier behavior.
I need to coax ambition from my dauther, to harness it and manage it for my son.
Girls till puberty- boys after puberty.
What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a girl?
Oh Gawd- there are so many, being a single father of only the best girl in the universe (of course, I am NOT biased towards her at all)- but there are so many things- being a parent is the most rewarding, and therefore, the most challenging thing, you can ever attempt. Coming from a guy that does extreme sports at 42
- with the girl, I am saying self esteem issues. It sure is hard to teach a girl to find her self worth from within instead of external validation. I have seen it from every angle now- and that seems to be the kicker. So, I walk on eggshells with my little girl, very careful about HOW i reproach bad behavior, so I make sure she know she has done WRONG because of a choice- NOT because she is defective. What are the difficult issues you (or someone you know) are dealing with as the parent of a boy?
ugh- the aggression! My little girl came first, my boy second. I treated them no differently as babies, and I have only begun to play with them differently- because they demand it, not me. Channeling that agression into postive behaviors is tough!
If you have a boy and a girl, do your treat your kids differently, based on gender? And how do you justify your decisions?
hmm, only in the most subtle ways. I channel my boys energy, I encourage my daughters- that could be said about everything I do with them. They both are in the same sports and activities- but how I help them excell in school and sports is adjusted according to THIER needs, not to my preconcieved notions on gender differences- I can tell what my child needs and doesn't need- I let them dictate that through thier behavior.
I need to coax ambition from my dauther, to harness it and manage it for my son.
QUOTE(CruisingRam @ Apr 28 2007, 06:52 PM)
Who is easier to raise? Boys or Girls?
Girls till puberty- boys after puberty.
I don't totally disagree with you on that, but there are issues that arise in the pre-teen years, trust me.
I only have boys (thank god
), but I was a girl so I can speak from experience.QUOTE
Oh Gawd- there are so many, being a single father of only the best girl in the universe (of course, I am NOT biased towards her at all)- but there are so many things- being a parent is the most rewarding, and therefore, the most challenging thing, you can ever attempt.
I don't mean to pry, but I thought you were in a very successful marriage. When did you become a single dad? I would imagine it makes for even greater challenges, parenting alone.
Ya, I thought I was too, until I suddenly wasn't, a little over a year and a half ago- something the equivilent of the female mid-life crisis, or growing pains, or whatever- either way, by the time she figured out that she had made some very bad choices- it was too late for her to put humpty dumpty back together again, and me and the kids had to move on.
I will tell you one thing- beng a single mom, you folks have lots of help- being a single dad- we get nothing.
But, that being said- I have to be very careful not to make the mistakes my parents made, or at least try not too- for instance- eating healthy has never been harder to teach your children, and I was very heavy until a little over 2 years ago- and I lost my wieght, believe it or not- so my kids would not have to struggle with thier wieght the way I did when I hit middle age!
But you can't tell your little girl she is "chubby" or "fat" unless you want a kid with an eating disorder
And that IS NOT, IMHO- a function of a problematic society- it is a function of bad, or rather maybe ignorant parenting (because many parents are good intentioned, of course, but where is that rule book for being a parent again?) - so we use words like "athlete" and "healthy food, so our teeth and bones are healthy". I NEVER EVER compare her to anyone in the media, and try my best to choose good female personalities to talk good about- I refuse to call them role models- since I believe that is my job- so, for instance, we took X-country skiing this year, and down hill and snowboarding - and we picked Kikken Randall, an Alaskan Olympic standout, and went to her ski camp for kids, and we ate "athlete snacks" before we went, and we have "one small treat per day"- a bite of a chocolate bar we keep in the truck glove box to go with our warm soy milk. Because "chocolate is okay as long as you don't eat too much of it, just a little treat"- so we don't deprive ourselves either.
Man, this job has alot more mine-fields than when I was a kid LOL-
We have NO broadcast TV, but plenty of movies, we have internet, but the computer is in plain view of the entire family area etc etc.
My kids are my #1 priority, always will be, and, as a father, I honestly say that I love them equally- but, if you are a parent, you know it is different kind of love for each child.
My little girl is all loves and kisses and cuddles, and so is my boy to a degree, but it turns rough quickly, and I am no big fan of rough housing really- so I try to channel it a bit.
Even what they imagine and play is different- and I made a very concious decision to be gender neutral from the beginning- I let them choose thier toys.
But from family experiance- all the girl children in our family were completely worthless manipulative brats after and during puberty, and the boys were pretty good joes for the most part- my sister was a COMPLETE pain in the patootie until she turned about, oh, 30?
- no, she got better when she became a mom, at 20.
All my girl cousins should really have been put in a barrel and fed through the bung hole after 13, the boys, before 13 - I was the same- I was a complete terror prior to 12, and nearly needing no management at all post- 12- and even the girls today in the family agree with that general assesment.
I will tell you one thing- beng a single mom, you folks have lots of help- being a single dad- we get nothing.
But, that being said- I have to be very careful not to make the mistakes my parents made, or at least try not too- for instance- eating healthy has never been harder to teach your children, and I was very heavy until a little over 2 years ago- and I lost my wieght, believe it or not- so my kids would not have to struggle with thier wieght the way I did when I hit middle age!
But you can't tell your little girl she is "chubby" or "fat" unless you want a kid with an eating disorder
And that IS NOT, IMHO- a function of a problematic society- it is a function of bad, or rather maybe ignorant parenting (because many parents are good intentioned, of course, but where is that rule book for being a parent again?) - so we use words like "athlete" and "healthy food, so our teeth and bones are healthy". I NEVER EVER compare her to anyone in the media, and try my best to choose good female personalities to talk good about- I refuse to call them role models- since I believe that is my job- so, for instance, we took X-country skiing this year, and down hill and snowboarding - and we picked Kikken Randall, an Alaskan Olympic standout, and went to her ski camp for kids, and we ate "athlete snacks" before we went, and we have "one small treat per day"- a bite of a chocolate bar we keep in the truck glove box to go with our warm soy milk. Because "chocolate is okay as long as you don't eat too much of it, just a little treat"- so we don't deprive ourselves either.
Man, this job has alot more mine-fields than when I was a kid LOL-
We have NO broadcast TV, but plenty of movies, we have internet, but the computer is in plain view of the entire family area etc etc.
My kids are my #1 priority, always will be, and, as a father, I honestly say that I love them equally- but, if you are a parent, you know it is different kind of love for each child.
My little girl is all loves and kisses and cuddles, and so is my boy to a degree, but it turns rough quickly, and I am no big fan of rough housing really- so I try to channel it a bit.
Even what they imagine and play is different- and I made a very concious decision to be gender neutral from the beginning- I let them choose thier toys.
But from family experiance- all the girl children in our family were completely worthless manipulative brats after and during puberty, and the boys were pretty good joes for the most part- my sister was a COMPLETE pain in the patootie until she turned about, oh, 30?
- no, she got better when she became a mom, at 20. All my girl cousins should really have been put in a barrel and fed through the bung hole after 13, the boys, before 13
- I was the same- I was a complete terror prior to 12, and nearly needing no management at all post- 12- and even the girls today in the family agree with that general assesment.
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