We haven't had a completely silly thread here lately, so here goes.

What stars of the silver screen, past or present, would you cast as your fellow members of ?

I'll start with a couple.

Ingrid Bergman is Paladin Elspeth!

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William "Big Bill" Smith is Bikerdad!

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BaphometsAdvocate is played in today's performance by Jean Claude Van Damme as the kick-poster with the heart of gold. Winona Ryder will return to this roll in Saturday's matinée.

DaffyGrl will be portrayed by Marina Sirtis.*

*not because of Star Trek. DG hasn't kept up with the Star Trek franchise since she was in junior high school. She and I are the same age (though she's far more beautiful) and support the same causes.

BoF will be played by Robert Duvall. (Think Gus in Lonesome Dove)

Fun topic, Vicky!

Eeyore should be played by Jimmy Stewart.

Victoria, definitely Cate Blanchett.

Jaime should be played by Meryl Streep.

If Hugo was still here, I'd cast Jack Nicholson in that role.

Quark should be played by Paul McCartney

That's all I've got for now.

Jane Seymour is Mrs P

joined by Henry Ford as Amlord

In AD: The Movie, and in no particular order...

Vicky Silverwolf was played by Maila Syrjäniemi (of course)
Jaime was played by Heather Graham
Mike was played by Matt Damon
Nighttimer was played by Danny Glover
Renger was played by Bruce Spence
Julian was played by Martin Freeman
Wertz was played by Derek Jacobi
Ted was played by Mel Gibson
Mrs Pigpen was played by Audrey Tautou
Cruising Ram was played by John Belushi (cgi)
Loreng59 was played by Frank Langella
DaffyGrl was played by Daffy Duck (in drag)
Paladin Elspeth was played by Liv Ullman
bucket was played by Kirsty Allen
Vermillion was played by Jean Reno
Dayton Rocker was played by Val Kilmer
Author musician was played by Robin Williams
Cyan was played by Brigitte Helm

Jeez. Thanks a bunch. Besides, it was Bugs who was always dressing up in drag.

I am sorry- I love james belushi- but, in real life, I am more of a nicholas cage- in character. Quirky and a bit manic and not quite in the mainstream.

However, I am not that pretty nor am I into Elvis (that much). Wierd thing is- my family thinks that is the person that is famous I look the most like. (Elvis) Who knew?

How to make friends and influence people...

Ahh, but DaffyGrl, look at it this way, you'll never grow old.

CR.
Sorry but thats who you remind me of, and anyway Cage is dead weight in my opinion

viggo mortensen as moif. Or maybe Warrick Davis (the midget from Willow)

Toby Stephens as amlord.

Rick Moranis as lordhelmet

Jim Caveziel as "abs like jesus"

I hear ya man, it is sooo funny to me- what you think a person's character is via the internet- I love the responses.

For Carlitoesway- I have to say- John Leguizamo- after all, it is carlitoesway, corrrect?

Mrs P- Hollyhunter

Nighttimer- Laurence Fishburne (don't hate NT)

Julian- Hugh Grant

Moif- David Wenham- he looks so damn nordic


Vermillion- Ben Stien (anyone, anyone? )

Loreng- Brendon Fraser (because of his movie about the anti-semitism on a ivy league campus)

Dayton Rocker- Sammy Hagar, in his first serious acting roll

Ted- Stephan Colbert

Paladin Espeth- Meryl Streep, or Candice Bergen- can't decide which there. I would have to see an audition

Wertz- Eric McCormack- so damn smart!

Quarkhead- Bono- in his first acting roll. It was for a good cause man!

Authormusician- Ed Asner- but a decade younger Ed Asner

Victoria- because the name evokes victorian age, I say Judy Dench, than and the whole class thing Dench has about her.

Jamie- Edie Falco
Mike - James Galdofini (you two, after all, are the bosses LOL- now Jaimie- I almost went with Dana Carvey in his Church lady roll due to her refereeing duties here- like "now, now, play nice, isn't that special, Cruisingram, you did it again, could it be SATAN")

Bucket- Susan Sarandon


And Daffygirl- Oprah

I would like to be played by Alec Baldwin. He's a fantastic actor and can go from manic to explosive in seconds. He's handsome and has a great voice as well

Plus if he was anygood, he could get an Oscar, because that would be acting!

I think Gene Hackman should play Blackstone. On second thought, make that Robert Blake.

Well while it's all well and good we've got a cast... what's the plot?

I vote for a Western. The good guys wear white hats and the outlaws black ones. Then everyone shoots everyone else, sort of like we'd do in debate if we were not required to be civil.

Here's a title "Gunfight at the Corral."

We could do this on location here in Texas at Las Colinas Studio.

The obvious casting for me is Leonardo DiCaprio. I mean, lets be real.

The plot for the movie should most certainly be a political thriller that involves something like a coup d'etat.

Thank you.

All the other suggestions are flattering as well, but I'll have to go with this one.

(And I wonder if there was anybody here who didn't have to do an Internet search to find out the name she is much better known by.)

Since this is a Western, I'll just have a tiny part in a dream sequence, where somebody is visited by the Angel of Death.

By the way:

Graham Chapman is moif!

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Ben Johnson is BoF!

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EDITED TO ADD:



If this is the case, I should have a brief cameo as the cat-petting, mysterious leader of the sinister organization behind the conspiracy.

[in that guy from the movie trailers' voice]

He had the idea, she had the will. Out there in a world full of Internet violence, fraud and deceit, Mike and Jaime set out to create what had never been known before: Someplace Called Homepage.

There were lurkers. There were trolls. There were knights in tarnished armor.

[scene: 300-like hollering guy raises sword as a cloud of arrows blots out the sun]

"We shall attack with PHP Spell Checker! Yahhhhhhhh For Now, For Evahhhhhh!"

They took the challenge and founded what could never be, not without constant vigilance from The Moderators! An elite force of keyboard powerpeckers, they captured and cajoled their way to Even-handed Glory!

[scene: Moderators forcing lurkers and trolls over a cliff and into the Bit Bucket Sea]

They were Republicans. They were Democrats. They were Libertarians, Socialists, even Communists. Some wouldn't say. And they all lived, loved and battled in Someplace Called Homepage.

[up dramatic music, sihlouette montage, caption: 07-07-07 ]

Jeez, guys! Stereotype much? (Though from seeing interviews with Martin Freeman, moif isn't a bazillion miles off personality-wise.)

I'm a better actor than either of them, so I'll play myself, thanks very much.

If it has to be a named actor (maybe the producers don't want to go with an unknown in such a key role ), then Mike Chiklis could do it, with me as his dialogue coach.

That way I could plant the seed in his head of me getting a recurring role in The Shield, on which he produces now, as his long-lost twin brother. If I completely shave my head and get a bit of a tan, I'm there.

I thought of a few more...

Colin Firth-Julian (another stereotype I suppose , but he really does remind me of you. )

Liam Neeson-moif

Don Cheadle-nighttimer

Nick Nolte-Cruisingram

Chiwetel Ejiofor-Turnea

Well to be honest, I did consider Donald Pleasance as well...

Nick Nolte- pre or post arrest? 48 hours nolte, or, tabloid nolte? Makes a difference.

( I don't drink or do drugs- so it REALLY makes a difference )

My brother has read this- and he came up with Dennis OR randy Quaid, and Gary Busey- pre-brain damage crazy, instead of post brain damage crazy.

Ya, my family thinks I am a bit wild too- his comment "what do you say about a 42 year old dude that stunts motorcycles for video fame?

oooo- Don Cheadle for NT- that makes sense for sure- Don Cheadle has a killer stand up bit, and he really, really is a smart comic!

I would have picked Simon Pegg for Julian... approximately the same chrome-dome and age.

Oooo, UJ- low blow my man, going after a fella's bald-ness!

I this thread. I'll settle for a supporting role to the lead antagonist, naturally. Bucky Katt has the honor of representing me.

I Bucky Katt. All that attitude. He may steal the show. Get the envelope ready.

You're on to something here-- to keep the cast payroll from going over budget and the script easier to write, you need at least 1,000 posts to be a lead character, 500 for the supporting cast, and the rest of us are played by extras. Make sure to cast my doppleganger tall, dark, and handsome, with at least two seconds of screen time. Movies are supposed to be over-glamorized, right?

The plot? Hmm... I'm thinking... Stream of consciousness here...

Act I:

The two stars launch a political Web forum attracting contributors from diverse world views. After a few years, they challenge each other to run for Congress, and many of them end up elected, much to their own surprise. They don't agree with each other very often, but they manage to work out many problems facing the nation. Their popularity soars. Politicians outside the group start getting jealous of the attention as more and more of these so-called "Debaters" get elected each term. As the Presidential election season rolls around, Senator Mike is the frontrunner in the polls, although he swears he isn't running. The wary establishment in both parties have had enough, and collude to "go negative" on all the newcomers. They begin to invent scandals and discredit the upstarts, embarass their families, and pit them against each other. The newcomers are forced to choose among friendship, political allegiance, power, family, and doing what they know is right. Some lives are ruined, some friendships are lost, but eventually, collegiality will be restored in the crucible of the Herculean trials to come...

Act II:

Hurricanes destroy Miami, Houston, and Manhattan. Power grids go offline. Terrorist groups hack into the banking system, withdraw half of the nation's assets, then bring down the Internet backbone and the rest of the power grid to cover their tracks. They bomb the Alaskan pipeline. By the time anyone realizes what happened, the country has been economically plundered. While CDC efforts are focused on the disaster zones, terrorist cells begin spreading ebola and other deadly diseases inland, resulting in massive pandemics unknown since the Dark Ages. Although not party to the terrorism, America's international enemies begin to consider invading while the U.S. armed forces are overseas and it is too weak to protect itself. Armies from a wide variety of nations arrive in America to stake their claim. Government is forced underground and scattered. Senator Mike gets separated from Speaker Jaime. Disease and assasination promote the reluctant speaker of the House to the Presidency. Due to soaring international tensions over America, World War IV looms on the horizon, with the very survival of the human race hanging in the balance. But first, what remains of fugitive Congress, scattered and hunted like animals, must try to survive the dark and stormy night.

Act III:

Well, I wouldn't want to spoil the ending for anyone.

Okay, if you insist.

An American traitor coordinating the international invasion is caught, revealing each of the enemies' strategies. Congress is forewarned and forearmed, first pitting the various enemy forces against one another, then with the help of allies like the UK, Canada, France and India, America pushes invaders back to their ships in a surpise attack. The cruel enemy masterminds fall in the final night of battle. A rainbow greets the sunrise. The country holds together. Congress is reuinted. The heroine gets the guy. Cue sappy love song with patriotic themes. Zoom out. Fade to end title with waving, tattered flag. Fade to black. Audience cheers. Wait for it... Music turns suspenseful. Fade up. Fog and mist rise from a dark mountain range. Below, in the valley, enemy troops from many nations are dressing their wounds and regrouping. One of the cruel enemy warlords lives on. No longer satisfied with mere domination, she pledges her soul to nuclear anihilation, and vengence. Cut to scenes of life getting back to normal, neighbors and allies helping each other rebuild, Democrats and Republicans hugging each other. Roll Credits. Audience leaves anticipating (or cursing) the inevitable sequel.

Act IV:

This dude writes a screenplay and shops it around L.A. None of the big studios bite, but an indy director likes it. Casting is already done, so they produce a film and await the results. It banks the Oscar talk in Cannes, but the critics poo-poo it with two thumbs down for being a tired retread. Then, the blogger buzz machine begins to churn. "America's Debate: The Movie" becomes a cult classic, with box office somewhere between Snakes on a Plane and Amerika, so no one gets any residuals. Just to thumb their noses at the box office, the Academy hands it the Oscar for Best Use of Excessive Storylines In A Single Film. Hollywood scratches its head. The subjects of the film continue typing their opinions into a Web site as if nothing happened. Twenty years later, a popular director rents a copy and decides to make a sequel. Then another. And another. "Mike and Jaime's Excellent Adventure" II to XXXIV become the basis for future civilization. The aging great-grandson of the original screenwriter travels back in time to warn his youthful ancestor not to produce the script, or the world as we know it will end badly. The screenwriter burns the half-finished manuscript. There is a vergence in the force, followed by a rift in the time-space continuum consuming the universe in tachyon particles and matter-antimatter explosions.

Act V:

Henry Ford??!?

I'm more of a Jason Statham without the accent...

I imagine you played by Jeremy Piven, the looks are there and the accents almost match too.

Let's hug it out, B--aby!!

I did do a stint at PCU...

Jason Statham has an accent?

Eva Mendes as Lesly!

I think I'll stick with the duck. Then I can be the one to get smooshed, squashed and splatted and the only lines I have to remember is "You're dethpicable" and "Whoo hoo whoo hoo!!"

Ay yai-yai!

Seamus - you are an entertaining writer, so I'm going to cast you as the late Kurt Vonnegut in a debate started by Vermillion, who will be played by Sean Penn, regarding the historical accuracy of Slaughter House Five.

Here are some possible actors to play the parts of the following AD members. I'll probably post another installment as I remember other posters.

AmLord - Tom Cruise
Mrs. Pigpen - Natasha Richardson
Quarkhead - Bono
Mike - Tom Hanks
Jaime - Jodie Foster
AuthorMusician - Jeff Bridges
BoF - Beau Bridges
Victoria Silverwolf - Cher
Nighttimer - Jamie Fox (in his Malcolm X role)
Paladin Elspeth - Meryl Streep
Curmudgeon - Sean Connery
Bucket - Holly Hunter
Vladimir - Vladimir Lenin
Julian - Jason Alexander
DaffyGirl - Susan Sarandon
Moif - Liam Neeson
CrusingRam - Sammy Hagar
Wertz - John Lithgow
FargoUT - French Stewart

I think Donald Duck could play my part

I'm going to stick to casting the staff, thus limiting the number of people I can offend. Jaime and Mike should be played by Susan Sarandon and Alec Baldwin - just to drive them nuts (though I think they'd be hilarious in America's Debate: The Movie) and the rest of the cast would be as follows:

Cyan - Lillian Gish
Wertz - Donald Sutherland
Ultimatejoe - Ben Stiller
Mrs. P. - Joan Allen
Amlord - James Woods
Eeyore - Jimmy Stewart
Dontreadonme - Kurt Russell
quarkhead - Pat Morita
Julian - Clement Freud
Hobbes - James Earl Jones

Wertz, I actually think Mike would enjoy being played by Alec Baldwin - he's deliciously sarcastic in 30 Rock. But what's with you guys picking me as a 50-something? First MrsP saying I should be played by Meryl Streep, now you saying Sarandon? I'm only 30! Sheesh.

I think MrsP would rock being played by Patricia Arquette. And you Wertz? How about Michael Weston - perpetual adorable extra, who deserves a big role, like AD The Movie.

Okay. America's Debate: The Movie.

A corporate entity is coming in to try to buy America's Debate while at the same time courting many longtime and active members to be featured celebrity bloggers.

Mike and Jaime become increasingly and mysteriously absent from the site.

And all the time some force seems to be at work gathering information about the members of the site.

And then IT happened

Edward Norton: Ultimate Joe
Hugh Laurie: Nighttimer
Kevin Spacey: Julian
Great Garbo: Cyan
Helena Bonham Carter: Victoria Silverwolf
Dustin Hoffman: Mike
Dennis Hopper: Cruising Ram
Vivica A. Fox: Jaime
Nick Cannon: Turnea
John Cusack: Eeyore
Joan Cusack: Billy Jean
Cate Blanchett: Mrs. Pigpen
Robin Williams: BoF
Joaquin Phoenix: Sleeper
Al Pacino: Carlitoswhey

Uggh I'm tired. Everybody else has a part too.

I meant it would drive Baldwin and Sarandon nuts playing you two. But, yeah, Alec Baldwin is hilarious in 30 Rock.


For the most part, I was thinking of the actors at particular points of their careers. Obviously, I don't see Cyan as a woman who died over ten years ago at the age of a hundred - I think of her as Lillian Gish in Broken Blossoms. Similarly, I think of Susan Sarandon playing you around the time she was in Rocky Horror - when she was twenty-nine. Anyway, I don't really see you as a Sarah Michelle Gellar or or Liv Tyler or Brittany Murphy - and who else is thirty?

For what it's worth, Donald Sutherland is twenty years older than I am. In fact, I think I cast everyone with older actors. Somehow, though, most younger actors seem to lack the gravitas of most of our staffers here.

And I could live with Michael Weston - though I think he's a bit young for the role.

I spoke with Winona and she'll take your role (leaving mine) and Jean Claude Van Damme will continue on as me until Tracii Lords can take over. (She's currently playing the part of a Right Wing Troll on DU.)

Gah! So I either get to be Captain Lugubrious of Lugubria, who today has an extra special reason to be lugubrious. Or I get to be someone undoubtedly talented and good looking but of indeterminate-yet-legally-unquestionable sexuality?

At this rate, I'm going to have to formulate a proper reply...

For whatever reason, I'm getting a Matthew Perry vibe from BaphometsAdvocate.

CP

Sorry, but I see Marlon Brando as BoF. Big Persian cat and promising conservatives to make a deal they can't refuse.

Okay, let's have a go...

moif - Stellan Skarsgård Only the facial hair is required!

BikerDad -

Mrs Pigpen - Helen Hunt

More to come when bandwidth and time allow. (Maybe without the photos, or else Mike & Jaime will be played by Clint Eastwood and Sigourney Weaver and they'll be coming after me with HUUUUUUUUGE guns.)