This article is pretty interesting

One tidbit:
No one appreciates what Scott gave up better than Beth. "With a job like his, you get your strokes at work -- bonuses, promotions, fancy dinners, travel. You have a sense of importance," she explains. Scott brought his work ethic to his new assignment, though, volunteering as a Cub Scout leader, PTA board member, and basketball and baseball coach.


Do you think children reared by stay-at-home dads will have different traits or characteristics than children raised by stay-at-home moms? Is there a shift in focus of daily activities when you switch from a female primary caregiver to a male primary caregiver?

What do you think should be the criteria couples should use to decide which one should stay at home with the kids? Who makes less money? Who has less benefits? Who could work the least amount of hours for the same amount of money?


That is a great article - I was feeling emotional when I read it....oh, such selflessness. <aw, happy tear>

I doubt that it will make a huge difference on how children will turn out. There are too many other factors; genetics, society in general, and so on. If there is any difference, I think it would tend to make the children a little less likely to have gender stereotypes, which is a good thing. I also don't think there would be a major change in daily activities. A stay-at-home parent, to be effective at all, has to take care of the basic needs of the children; this wouldn't change. Would a father be a little more likely to spend leisure time with children in sports, for example, than a mother? Maybe, although much more depends on the individual parent.

Each couple has to decide how to raise its children based on its own criteria. Desire to be a stay-at-home parent is probably the most important factor; nothing would be worse than to be a stay-at-home parent who resents being one. Income, of course, is a very important factor as well.

I have been raising my son for a whole year now. It has been the greatest time of my life.
I wake up in the morning to him reaching thru his crib bars and poking me in the head.
He is FULL of energy. I take him out of his crib and away he goes. It is then all I can do to keep up with him.
I got to see the first time he looked at me and really knew who I was, when he stood for the first time and his first attempt at steps. We eat breakfast together every morning and watch Sesame Street. I no longer sing punk rock but hum Veggie Tales Toons (Larry cracks me up).
I have been able to finish my degree while my wife worked two full time jobs. It has not been easy for her not to be with him all day.
I haven’t run into any problems with people who think its weird my wife works and I stay at home. Most are actually jealous. Some guys get precious little time with their kids. It was weird at first because most moms kinda didn’t want to talk to me. I don’t look like Mr Mom. I get all sorts of looks, mostly big smiles, because when my son and I go out anywhere we goof. I am a 33 year old kid. I race the shopping cart around making squealing noises or we play peek a boo in the clothes racks.
I like to put him on my shoulders and we go thumping around. Hopping up and down makes him laugh his butt off.
Best time of my life. I could do this forever. But I can’t. One my wife is so homesick, read that as baby sick. She wants to be the stay at home Mom. I want her too as well. Not because I’m the man and should work but my wife realized that was what she wanted out of life before she met me. I knew this when I met her.
Two I need to be able to do something creative, but on a big scale. I can live without most of what I thought were my dreams but some stuff still remains strong.
I am desperately searching for a way to turn my talents into a freelance career that I can do mostly from home. I have no real interest in the corporate world any longer. I will of course succeed in what ever I do. If the right challenge comes along I shall pursue it like the Wild Hunt. Family though is my first and only real priority.
Who should stay is the one who wants to stay. If you get a tie like my wife and I the one who can earn the most money should go. You need to provide the best for your children.
Would my son somehow be different if I stayed at home. Yes. In some ways it would be good. I am creative and see things that others don’t always see. I have a very positive outlook on life. I am almost never angry. Things just don’t bother me much. We have a lot of fun in our day. However I am also lazy at times, have a pretty loose idea on what is clean and what is “dusty”. I also am a bad procrastinator. Would I leave a more masculine imprint on children. Yes and I think it best for a son to have his Mother’s influence to help teach him to take the edge of being male. Teach him to respect women.

Well I hope my post is not regarded as sexist...
I think what you do Christopher is awesome..so I also hope you don't take my post as questioning your role in your sons life.

Yet I feel for the first year that ultimately a child should be with it's mother. I understand that many family situations do not allow this and I do not condemn any one for having to do what best suits their family's needs. I just feel that nature has instilled a very special bond between mother and child and that is why not only do babies suffer from this separation but many woman do too. I am also a very big proponent of breastfeeding..and I think a child should be breastfed for at least a yr I suppose I am very much a traditionalist in regards to this issue and I am ok with that. I do only feel this way in regards to the baby in the first yr..I think mostly I feel this way because physically men can not breastfeed and men do not carry the baby around for 260something days and men do not give birth to the baby.
I think afterwards which sex is the prime caregiver does not matter. I understand that a lot of woman would not make better caregivers than their spouse, do not want to breastfeed their child and do not want to stay at home. I just personally feel that this little set-up mother nature has is truly the best one for baby and mama and I completely understand that is just my little view on life and don't expect anyone else to believe it or adhere to it.

My husband misses his children horribly and he often does wish he could be at home with them more..and he is often jealous of the time and different life I have with them. So I also recognize that it is just as hard on the males...I just think in a different way.

So yes I think it makes a difference who is at home with the child..and I think it does effect the child differently.

I also think the decision should be based on the needs and restraints of the family itself. You can not just make a blanket statement...it should always be _____ reason in deciding who will be the main caregiver because every family is different and has different factors and beliefs to consider.

Christopher I just bought my kids the new TMBG CD ..it is a kid's CD..all kid's music and my two love it...I highly recommend it. It is kinda like kid punk rock.

Actually I agree. but life wasn't fair and it had to be so. The bond between my son and his MUH MUH MAH MAH is very strong. whenever he feels bad he goes straight to his mother. I'm for funtimes and bannanna cookies .
Although I am the best at getting back to sleep

I am a stay at home dad not by choice but by necessity. I am 45 and have been disabled from my job as an over the road truck driver for three years now. My wife did not work until I was disabled but had to start at that time. My children see little difference except that I dont cook as well as my wife, lol. They do seem to be a little more disiplined than before but not a great deal. However given the choice my wife and I would both rather she was home with the kids and housework and I was back working at something. It just felt more natural that way.

I think there will be slight differences, as each parent has different parenting styles, but I think the important thing is at least one parent is at home with the child. My personal philosophy is that it's important for the first two years to be raised at home if there is any way that it can be done economically. After the age of two, the needs of the child begin to change and there is more need for social interactions with peers, so daycare after that time seems better to me.

As for the criteria about who stays home, I would consider the financial situation first -- if one person makes enough to support all three vs. the other parent, that should be a consideration. One does not necessarily have to earn more, just enough. Next comes the breastfeeding issue -- it's much easier to do if the mom stays home, but if you're not into breast feeding it won't matter as much. After that, I would consider who gets the most emotionally from work or who would enjoy staying home more.

Another option would be switching off -- I am currently staying at home with my 3 month old daughter, and plan to until she is around 2 years old. My fiance would like to take a turn after that for about a year, and as long as I can find a job that pays enough to support all of us I'm perfectly willing. I also think that it would be a good way to balance her out -- she be exposed to both parenting styles for good lengths of time.