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America's Debate > Archive > Social Issues Archive > [A] Principles and Personal Philosophy
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harikrishnan
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Quotes:
In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.
-Robert Anderson

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
-Honore de Balzac

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
-Josh Billings

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
-Ambrose Bierce

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
-Ambrose Bierce

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
-Doug Larson

Love the family! Defend and promote it as the basic cell of human society; nurture it as the prime sanctuary of life. Give great care to the preparation of engaged couples and be close to young married couples, so that they will be for their children and the whole community an eloquent testimony of God's love.
-Pope John Paul II, 2001
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Each person has his own reason for trying to hold his/her marriage together.He does hope to have a long lasting marriage.We all want to share and receive love.After all, our own children whom we adore will not stay for ever with us.We need a marriage partner for reasons other than sex.That is why I have not bothered to take it as a factor that can influence a long marriage.But inspite of so many hopes most marriages break.why? It seems certain that no one wants to unconditionally love the partner.Even small arguments lead to divorce.Selfishness could be the reason for break up.But then there are marriages that last even for more than fifty years till the partners are alive.No joke.

So why do marriages last????

MARRIAGES DO SURVIVE:There are many examples of everlasting marriages.A large number of people in Europe and Australia have strong faith in marriage.In Asia most marriages last.But then why???????

THESE MARRIAGES MAY HAVE SURVIVED BECAUSE-
1.PARTNERS HAVE MORE LEISURE TIME TO INVEST ON MARRIAGE
2.PARTNERS ARE WILLING TO FORGIVE THE MISTAKES OF PARTNERS OUT OF LOVE OR OUT OF COMPASSION
3.FEAR THAT THEY MIGHT BREAK A GOD MADE RULE ON MARRIAGE
4.BECAUSE THEY WANT SOCIAL SECURITY AND RESPECT FROM SOCIETY(IN THE EAST)
5.THEIR LOVE IS UNTIRING
6.THEY WANT THEIR CHILDREN HAPPY
7.THEY HAVE FEWER EXPECTATIONS FROM MARRIAGE THAN MOST OTHERS
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CruisingRam
Funny- this was a huge and important question to me shortly after I left my first wife, hoping that I wouldn't do THAT again (I was okay with marriage, really down on having to go through divorce)-

and I looked at both the scientific issue of "bonding/marriage"- such as chemical triggers and the need for marriage at all in the prehistoric man

and the counselling/therapy issues that I use at work

and the faith issues that seem to work through the church in some cases

and the societal contraints on some cultures that force marriage to work.


MY PERSONAL search:

The first four years are pure chemistry, as prehistoric moms HAD to have a mate that would get them through four years after the last child together is born. The children could not survive otherwise, after that, mom could survive within her herd or whatever.

AFter that, sentient, cognizent man had to make the jump to human, concious, mature love in order to last longer than four years after the last child is born, and is a combination of true care for the other being, and some societal/financial pressures.
Corvus
Good question, and a pretty comprehensive list.

I think most people want security, and what that security is differs according to person. For some that security is present in financial wellbeing, and for others it might be present in the image of a constant companion or even the comfort of having an elevated social standing after no longer being a bachelor. Sometimes children can be the glue that holds together a marriage. However, Barbey d'Aurevilly wrote as follows in Les Diaboliques.

"Are you not sorry not to have any children, Madame la Comtesse?"

"I do not want any,"she said proudly. "I should love Serlon less. Children," she added with a kind of scorn, "are good only for women who are unhappy."


laugh.gif

However, don't think for a minute that everyone is content to remain with one woman for the rest of their life. Many of the best of husbands have mistresses! A decent amount of the population, in fact, causing florists are worried about the upcoming St. Valentine's day. A lot of the flowers bought are meant for mistresses and are often sent to their place of work. This year, St. Valentine's falls on a Saturday, when most people don't work, so these adulterous husbands are denied that option. They certainly can't send the gifts to their mistress's house, possibly alerting her family to the presence of this passionate paramour!

For some people, another partner keeps the novelty of marriage from fading. Whether I condone it or not is another question.

Remember, the people most offended by the Clinton scandal were Americans and British. Most other European nations saw it as fairly healthy. The French, I think, even expect public figures to have secret mistresses.

QUOTE
MARRIAGES DO SURVIVE:There are many examples of everlasting marriages.A large number of people in Europe and Australia have strong faith in marriage.In Asia most marriages last.But then why???????

THESE MARRIAGES MAY HAVE SURVIVED BECAUSE-
1.PARTNERS HAVE MORE LEISURE TIME TO INVEST ON MARRIAGE
2.PARTNERS ARE WILLING TO FORGIVE THE MISTAKES OF PARTNERS OUT OF LOVE OR OUT OF COMPASSION
3.FEAR THAT THEY MIGHT BREAK A GOD MADE RULE ON MARRIAGE
4.BECAUSE THEY WANT SOCIAL SECURITY AND RESPECT FROM SOCIETY(IN THE EAST)
5.THEIR LOVE IS UNTIRING
6.THEY WANT THEIR CHILDREN HAPPY
7.THEY HAVE FEWER EXPECTATIONS FROM MARRIAGE THAN MOST OTHERS


Are you asking here why marriage is more likely to last in places other than the U.S? I'm not sure. It may be that ennui that not only kills marriages, but reduces voters and makes citizens wallow in ignorance.
Jaime
CLOSED.

How does this relate to news &/or politics? PM me or a staff member to let us know so we can consider reopening this.

I seriously think you need to check out beliefnet.com - they are much better suited to host generic philosophical debates.
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