Reading an old topic about the new female stereotype got me thinking about a recent Feb 3 episode of Scrubs in which the main female doctor faces trouble because she tries to dress attractively while on the job at the hospital. It was a funny episode, but rung strangely true - in the medical world at least, the women who dress well and look attractive often face aggression from the other female docs and get looked down on as not quite so smart by the male doctors.

But I know this idea applies to other areas of my life as well - For example I wouldn't worry about my nails while using a power tool working on a habitat house - but I would worry about my nails if I were about to meet a potential mother-in-law who would notice shabby nails.

These examples are a little silly, but I wonder if other women find themselves doing things differently according to the company you are keeping (men v women).

An added question for debate - if you do project different images to men and women, do you think its a necessary part of being a modern woman? Is there any way to change/stop projecting different images?

And for the men who might want to add - what do you think of women who project different images for men and women? Is it really fair to the men?

When working third shift for several months in a major retail store, I hauled stock from the storeroom on pallets to the departments and unloaded it. It often involved relatively heavy lifting. On those occasions, I was very glad to have a good rapport with the men, for they were willing to help me. But I still, in most cases, had to ask them, because there was typically one employee working in a department at a time.

Now, I didn't bat my eyelashes or act stupid when I asked for their help. But sometimes with the younger (19-ish) men, I would say something about needing a "big strong guy with muscles" to help me out. Since I ceased being a "sweet young thing" decades ago, it seemed I had to appeal to their egos in order to get their attention long enough to get their help.

In any case, I always let a man (or a woman) know that the help is appreciated by being friendly and courteous. And aside from occasionally speaking directly to the male ego, I usually act the same way toward both sexes.

I'm not one of those people who dresses nicer than everyone I work with. If I work in a lab (which I do) and everyone is wearing jeans (which they do), you bet I'll be wearing jeans too(i am). If I work in an office where all the women wear skirts, you can bet I'll be wearing some skirts too. I believe that a work environment is less disrupted when one tries to fit in instead of stand out (with your appearance). If you want to stand out with your talent, skill, or competance - now that is appropriate. Trying to outdo your coworkers with style sends the wrong message.

As far as taking some extra notice of your appearance when you are trying to make an impression (for instance with your future mother-in-law), that's only natural. Of course I would expect my guy to brush his hair if I was introducing him to my mother for the first time. (It isn't really a double standard) Men and women equally try to make good first impressions.

However, the best part about being a woman is having the best of both worlds - I can wear jeans and flannels, wear boots and have fun like one of the guys or I can dress up and have fun as one of the girls. It's great to have options. Great fun. I don't feel like I change my projection based on if I'm with women or men, I think I change my projection based on my mood, the situation, and my intended goal (or lack thereof).

Changing or stopping the projection of different images is not something high on my list. It's fun to do, it may manipulative but at the same time NOT manipulative (if you are projecting opposite facets of who you REALLY are).

I am sure when I was teenager I probably did, as like most teenagers I was very concerned with how I was perceived. At some point during my college years which was the 80's I distinctly remember being a bit more interested in pushing the limits of what society (male/female) expected of me, look, attitude the whole picture, so anything went hair/clothing style i.e. crew cut floppy asymmetrical Mohawk like styles, with an eye for androgeny and shock value. It was actually quite fun and lead to some very interesting conversations with total strangers. I think sometime during the course of this I found what made me most comfortable with myself. I don't quite know what that's is, though I am very consistent with everyone, male or female. I guess what people thought of me ceased to matter at some point and what I thought of me became more important.
My husband says that's mostly what drew him to me, that I wasn't fake and he always knew where he stood with me. I do know when we had marital problems he said that's what he missed most, to be able to talk and feel connected. He says I am is best friend and the person he trusts most to be honest with him. I guess I feel that women need to be true to themselves if getting hair and nails done regularly is what brings happiness so be it... People will sense how comfortable she is with herself and they will be comfortable with her. Oh YEAH! Finally within the past year... My mother-in-law likes me! Wooo HOOO! If I had gauged how people perceived me by her, well I would be a basket case. We just hit our 9yr Anniversary 11th

I project different images based on my mood which shifts as often as the tides, but all of those images are merely different facets of myself, and they really have nothing to do with gender. I guess I don't really view gender in strictly male/female terms though. My experiences have taught me that there are many different types of men and women in the world, some who fall into the stereotypical images of male and female and a large gray area in between. If anything, I adjust for the setting, rather than the people.

I would say that I don't, I am who I am. I was never much of a girlie girl. Never had nice nails, never really wore a lot of makeup, but I do dress up when appropriate or if I feel like it. Most of my work atmosphere's were very casual, so I often wore jeans to work. Sometimes I would feel like wearing a skirt and looking nice, so I did. If I had an lunch meeting with a vendor, I would dress nice. I think the only other time I would go out of my way is for a date. Ok, its a man, but it is also about making a nice impression. Just like when you go on a job interview. I agree with Cyan, I adjust for the setting.

I think I project the same image most of the time, but strangely I am more self-conscious around women than I am men. I become aware that I don't make the effort on my appearance that other women do -- I don't wear make-up, I don't shave my legs in the winter, I trim my own hair, I rarely wear jewelry, I spend less than $100 a year on clothes, etc.

I tend to get a little paranoid around women who do go to more effort than me, feeling that they will be judgmental. I'm not sure why this should bother me.

I generally feel more relaxed around men now that I'm over 30 and had two kids and the whole attraction thing is rarely an issue anymore -- I'm just a person to hang with and talk to nowdays, and not someone to pursue. This frees me up to be me.

I'm also over thirty, married, with two kids.

I generally feel very relaxed around men, as well. I enjoy
the male perspective. I'm usually more silly and playful with
my male friends. I'm much more light-hearted in my behavior
around men.

When I am around my close female friends I am myself too,
but the more serious and reflective side of me emerges.

I said unsure because I felt sometimes was too often. However, I will say I am generally quieter in groups dominated by women though I feel the general image I project is the same. I do tend to be more at ease with men (generally speaking, I feel like I can be more myself...but this is also true around some women). Its less of a gender comfortability issue and more of a personality or nature of the group (not necessarily tied to sex) that causes differences in comfortability.