This is a really interesting topic. It seems to me, after reading all of your opinions that in many cases the cure is worse than the disease
My sister is an assistant manager for a large company that manages most of the HOA's in Naples FL. (and they are very many), She constantly spins hysterical stories about the retired "pack" of women that get up at 5am just so they can sneak around the neighborhood and put tickets on people's cars who failed to put their car in the garage the night before

Then, when my brother-in-law's father wanted to come and visit them, they had to find a place for him to park his pick-up truck because the HOA did not allow any pick-up/work trucks to remain on the premises after 7pm. I could go on but I think you all have the idea.
The problem with HOA's is that they are not what they appear. They are drawn up, usually, before anyone moves in, so they aren't by the people, for the people. They are corporate legal pieces of paper. They are beginning to be 'standardized' and that means less choice, not more. In many areas you have to choose to live in an HOA or live in an older neighborhood that may be run-down. So, the major problem with HOA's is that they are money making organizations, managed off-site in many cases, and act as mini-states with enforcement falling to a few people with nothing better to do than check whether or not you have your pooper-scooper with you when you take your dog for a walk.
I think that anyone who is about to purchase a home in an HOA should be able to see the complaint list for the past year. It should not name any names, but it should describe the things that people complained about, and how often resident #1 filed a complaint about resident #5. This would give you an idea about what you were getting into! If #1 filed 18 complaints in 2 months about doggy mess, against 4 other people...well...that would tell you the level of hassle you were going to encounter. On the positive side, if only 2 complaints had been filed in the past year about major issues like peeling paint, then you would know everyone basically gets along.
There is also the question of wording and enforcability. If the HOA states their rules in an affirmative way like "we respect the rights of the individual, but ask that you park your car in the garage", rather than "all cars must be parked in the garage", this would go a long way towards forming better bonds.
The enforcement should not be absolute. If a person is not in compliance then that person should get a letter from the HOA, or asked at a meeting, to remedy the problem. Person to person contact should be encouraged rather than having a small group of tyrants "tattling" to the HOA manager anonymously! Most people will comply, if they can do so. If they can't for some reason then they should settle it at the HOA meeting. No one should be able to force compliance. The only thing that an HOA should be able to enforce is an appearance by the member who is not in compliance at a meeting of the HOA. The appearance "order" should be subject to a 2/3 vote, that way people won't be dragged to an HOA meeting for a minor infraction.
If a person is having difficulties financially or for health reasons than it should be written into the covenant that their neighbors will do everything they can to assist the person. This makes it clear from the beginning that it is your responsibility to help those in need in your neighborhood. If this were the case, and members came to the HOA and said, "my mother is sick and needs a wheelchair ramp", AND the initial covenant that all members signed instructed them that this was a neighborhood where neighbors are expected to help one another, I think this would never become a problem.
When the HOA is not a for profit, management company project, but a true covenant formed by the neighbors with the intent of BEING A GOOD NEIGHBORHOOD, AND ACTING LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR! then they are wonderful things for all community members. When they are legal documents, formed off site and make people subject to all sorts of fines and limitations, then they are resented and make everyone distrustful and irritated with their neighbors.
So the answer is HOA's formed by the management company, in a standard "one size fits all" way should be abolished. HOA's developed by the people of a community, with one, and only one, true enforceable clause "the appearance" clause, those should stay. It will not solve all problems, but it will solve most with minimal intrusion.