When I was growing up my neighborhood had neighbors. All the neighbors would help each other when times were tough, when there was a tragedy or when it just took more then one person to get the job done.

All the neighbors looked out for each others kids. As a kid you couldn't get away with anything with 2 dozen pair of eyes around all the time.

The adults as well as the kids were always there to help out our elderly neighbors.

There were regular weekend gatherings where we would all come together for a day of fun. When a new person moved in there were offers of help, gifts of food, and dozens of introductions.

Everyone knew and cared about each other.

That was then.

These days, people go into their attached garages, get in their cars and drive to work. They come home, pull into the garage, go in the house and never come out. Few people know anything about their neighbors anymore and I know alot of people that don't even know the names of their nextdoor neighbors.

Neighborhoods seem to have ceased to exist. Replaced by Home Owner Association rules.

Now I am not trying to toot my own horn but the I live in a neighborhood with several widows and a few financially struggling people. I was also raised with the idea that we need to be good neighbors and look out for each other.

When it snows I have seven sidewalks and five driveways to shovel. In the fall I have 6 yards of leaves to handle, and there are 5 houses that regularly have me doing minor repairs on them.

For instance. Last night a tree fell in a neighbors yard. It's a fair sized tree and it knocked down part of my neighbors back fence. She is afraid that her dog will get out and be lost if she lets her out. So this morning, as soon as 8AM hits I will be over there, cutting up the tree and repairing the fence. The job would not rise above her insurance deductable and she wouldn't be able to pay the increased premiums anyway. She is on a fixed income, living very close to the belt. I know it, and I won't take money from her. She knows that and feels guilty about it.

In my youth, half a dozen of the neighborhood fathers would be there fixing this for her. She wouldn't feel guilty about not paying anyone because that is simply the way neighborhoods worked.

There would be those who came to do the work, those who came to feed the workers and those who came just to visit the neighbor in trouble. It would be a neighborhood event and after it was done, all would visit, likely bar-b-que and have a good time.

These days, there are a few lone souls that do things like this for others. No one is around to make it fun, have a party afterwards, or make the neighbor in trouble feel better.

I really miss the days of the neighborhood.


Questions for Debate:

What happened to cause the demise of the neighborhoods?

What caused our society to stop thinking about the community and focused us on ourselves?

What can we do to get our neighborhoods back? Or is it hopeless?

Do you think giving financially to a local charity makes up for the lack of involvement with neighbors in need?, Why or Why Not?

I can agree that there is a trend towards isolationism, but living in rural areas is different than in more densely populated areas. In small towns, the old ways still exist, even to the point that sometimes you wish the neighbors didn't know so much about what is going on in your home. But even there I suppose the trend is not what we should want. For the 8 years that I lived in a small town in Idaho, I saw that some of the elderly were looked after quite well, others not so well. I personally took care of the 2 elderly families across the street, shoveling snow and such, and got lots of fresh, hot apple pies for my efforts. One family had the apple trees, the 80 year old widow lady could really cook! My kids looked upon her as a surrogate grandmother, and she loved it.

Some communities have block parties once a year, that seems to help. During this time a list of names, phone numbers is circulated, and unless you opt out, everyone will have contact info on everyone else. I used it once to call a neighbor's employer to find out where he was while on vacation, to let him know that an upstairs window was broken and foul mouthed strangers were smoking in his house. Knowing the family, that was not desired by the parents. Turned out his teenaged son didn't go with the family, and allowed the strangers in, even tho he was at work most of the time.

Often it only takes one person such as yourself to start something up that will make a difference, block parties, crime watch, etc.

This is an excellent topic Overlandsailor, one of the best.

In relation to questions 1 & 2, I think that there are two factors at play here. One is technology where people can plug into tivo and the internet in the basement of their house rather than be out on the porch and be visible in public. Look at a lot of us here at America's Debate-we are debating people hundreds of miles away, but we aren't having similar conversations(that compare in duration at least) with people who are less than fifty yards from us. The other factor that is responsible for this in my opinion is work. A lot of people are trying t oclimb the ladder and don't want to deliver a jello mold to a neighbor after a trying 8 hour day.

Question #3 is excellent-what can be done? I know that some communities and workplaces have a "one book one Austin" or something like that where people get together to read and talk. I believe things like that, as well as volunteer/civic groups might be a possible remedy. I know a lot of people under hte age of 25 who have no desire to work in politics, but who would for example-work at the United Way or do some fund-raising effort for a cause.

In my community at least, such an effort wouldn't help since there are no organizations like that. In a lot of cases, money is not what's needed-it's usually physical labor as Overlandsailor pointed out. Things like shoveling snow, removing ungodly tree limbs and stuff like that.

What happened to cause the demise of the neighborhoods?

What caused our society to stop thinking about the community and focused us on ourselves?

What can we do to get our neighborhoods back? Or is it hopeless?

Do you think giving financially to a local charity makes up for the lack of involvement with neighbors in need?, Why or Why Not?

This is a wonderful topic!

I think stories like yours, OverlandSailor, proves that there are still neighborhoods and neighbors who care. Though they may be a minority, it’s heartening to know they are still there. I live in a fairly large city, but in a neighborhood that is suburban in nature, with older, small houses with modest front yards, porches and sidewalks. The residents are a healthy mix of young families, singles, and retired folks. It is like a slice of life from the 50’s, and I enjoy that. Very few homes have front fences. We stop and chat, we look out for each other, and provide favors when needed. The neighborhood kids know I have the dog that looks like a lion, and always ask to pet him when I walk him.

In my opinion, a lot of the isolationism today is due to the anonymity of uninviting new home tracts built with fences and security systems, restrictive associations, indoor home entertainment systems with all the technological bells and whistles, gizmos and amenities to make life within all-encompassing. Gone are the front porches and sidewalks where people would socialize. Housing is being built further and further from urban centers where most of the employment is. Everything requires a car trip to get to. Gone are the neighborhood stores, and walking is an activity undertaken only for physical fitness and not to move and socialize among the neighbors. Many developers are recognizing this, and are attempting to plan housing with more of a neighborhood “feel”.

Another point is that most people are so involved in the pursuit of the almighty buck that people work long hours and are seldom home. Both parents work. The fast-paced lifestyle of today is not as conducive to being “neighborly”. And planning – everything in our lives today seem to have to be planned out to the nth degree. Spontaneity has become a foreign concept, as has simply relaxing and doing nothing – like sitting on the porch and chatting with neighbors, or taking a leisurely walk. Organized activities have replaced merely enjoying time off. Everyone’s kids have to be driven to soccer, Little League, karate, ballet, the mall, etc. Kids don’t play in yards anymore. If they’re home, they’re more likely to be playing Nintendo than playing outside. Is it any wonder that stress-related illnesses are on the rise? Our lives have become so fast-paced and competitive, we’ve forgotten how to stop and just enjoy the day.

Giving money to charity has become something one feels they "should" do, and probably makes them feel virtuous doing so. Though giving to charity is well and good, like the old saying goes "charity begins at home". I am grateful to live in a community where people still smile and greet each other by name, stop by to admire flowers and chat, and help each other out.

What happened to cause the demise of the neighborhoods?
I think the other technological advance that stopped this trend is air conditioning, especially in the South. Back in the fifties people would sit outside on their patios to escape the heat and so neighbors who spend more time outside generally have more opportunities to get to know each other.

What caused our society to stop thinking about the community and focused us on ourselves?
The necessity for families to have two incomes to get by comfortably. Before women would stay home and socialize and of course they would introduce their husbands.

What can we do to get our neighborhoods back? Or is it hopeless?
Make everyone get a dog, and walk them frequently. Thats how I know the few people here in my apartments that I moved into a few weeks ago.

I think the technological advances of the last century along with the lawsuit tidal waves did us in.

First there was radio. It drew people away from socializing on the front porch and into the house to listen to the shows. THen came TV which drew more people in. THen came Air Conditioning. With AC we no longer spent our time on the front porch to cool off.

Then we started walling in the front porches for more space in the now ACed house.


Then came video games, Cable, better video games, PCs, PC games, the internet, even better game systems, High speed internet, then games on the net.

So many technological attractions people barely read anymore, let alone socialize.

And through it all came the ever increasing lawsuits. Kids get in a fight, the parents sue each other. People are less likely to want their kids playing outside with others. Have A BBQ, someone trips, they sue you. So much for BBQs. Have a block party, someone stumbles in a pothole and sues the town. The town bans block parties, or at least makes it such a chore to get the permit that no one wants to do it.


Technology helped promote the ME instead of WE mentality, but we as a people still chose to start ignoring the neighborhood and what was once considered our responsiblity to it.

At least on my block there are some. There are 24 house or so on my block. 2 are vacant. I know people in 12 of them. I dislike people in two of them, and I have the responsiblity of looking out for all of then and 7 of those houses have a need for me to help them. There are two other houses with neighbors that help each other. Our Mayor lives on my block, we talk about this, he suggests a block party but then no one moves forward with the idea.

At least there is the Neighborhood watch (Town wide) and the Community Emergency Response Team (CERT). I can help the community by helping both of those groups. When I am not overwhelmed with the needs of those on my block.

It does amaze me how few people even consider things like: How is that nice old widowed lady gonna shovel her snow? She's on a walker after all. Most just choose not to see it.

I'm still not sure what the solution is. But I think it will require a combination of Community Residents, Government and Business involvement to have a prayer of turning around.

And it will require that parents start teaching their children Empathy and how to look out for your friends and neighbors. These days, kids won't leave the playstation to mow lawns for Cash, let alone to do it just to help a neighbor.

I also feel that is is the destruction of the neighborhood and the loss of community thinking that lead to the ever decreasing voters out there. If we can get people involved in there neighborhoods we might get them involved in their communities too. If we get them involved in their community, we might just get them to vote.

What happened to them? The car, the long commute, and the need for two incomes. When you were growing up, you were probably growing up in neighborhoods designed, possibly before WWII, or at least heavily influenced by those neighborhoods. Now people want as much separation from their neighbors as they can get, while living in neighborhoods designed for the commuter.

While I live in an area worst than most for the commute, commuting times are increasing nationwide. Here, I am very lucky to have a commute of less than an hour, each way. Land prices, and home prices are through the roof in any area with low crime and decent schools...and pretty bad in less desireable places. The average home price in Washington, DC is $350,000, more in the affluent suburbs. You typically need well over $100,000 in income to pay a mortgage on that, even with a hefty downpayment. Not many people have a job that can pay that on one salary.

So you wind up with two parents spending 10+ hours a day away from home, who come home exhausted from a grueling commute, and not in the mood to deal with neighborhood issues.

I understand what SWM28WDC and others are saying. I just don't buy it, at least in my area.

No one in my town has more then a 1 hour commute and most have a 1/2 hour or less. The average price of a house in my town is less then $100,000.00.

Now there are many neighborhoods in the surrounding areas that the houses are 200,000.00 - 400,000.00, and the commutes are much longer. These are the three car garage, 3500 square foot monsters of houses, in the "right towns".



I don't know about your area, but every new (within 10 years) development around me have built each house just feet away from the neighbors houses with minimal individual land so you have minimal land maintenance. THey have common grounds for activities which cost the home owners even more money in monthly maintenance fees.

I think, at least in my area of the country, the "high cost of living" is a choice people make. They have to have the right address, the huge house, the new cars every other year, etc.

I work with several guys that live like this and complain that the cost of living is so high they can't afford anything. Yet I work the same job and manage to support a family of three on just one income just fine.

Our cars are used, Our home is 1100 square feet (soon to double once the basement is water-proofed and finished), we don't concern ourselves with brand names but prefer to get the best we can find for us at the best price.

I'm on the road with work anywhere from 6 - 12 hours a day depending on the size and locations of the job(s) I get that day.

As for the "right address" Ours is close to the airport (without hearing planes), close to two major highways, and close to the largest entertainment district in the area (The Loop). Our school district consistently meets the same performance numbers of most of the "right address" school districts, and frequently exceeds the numbers of many of them.

So what makes it the "wrong address"? Well, the houses are old, 50-100 years. The city is considered a lower income area, the city is not overrun with strip malls and Starbucks, oh, and most importantly it would seem, there are all sorts of people of color living here.

It all comes back to the Me instead of We mentality. People "need" the best house, in the best neighborhood, with the best new cars because of what they want people to think of them and what Madison Ave has convinced them that they "need:.

Why have a 3500 square foot house with a hot tub, rec room, massive kitchen, etc if you have to work so much to pay for it that you're never home to enjoy it?

Also, the commute, time at work, etc doesn't answer the question when it comes to the weekends. I know many people that say the weekends are their time. Well, with the new house and new cars and tiny yard, maintenance shouldn't take much time. Why not get a hour or two of weekend time to a neighbor that needs a hand?

1. What happened to cause the demise of the neighborhoods?

2. What caused our society to stop thinking about the community and focused us on ourselves?
Like others have said, I think it has a lot to do with technological advance. The progression from Radio to TV to the internet age has increasingly turned us inwards.

Another factor that I don't think has really been explored yet is the safety/crime issue. I think that the reason a lot of people don't really know their neighbors is because of fear and safety issues - that guy next door looks creepy, I wonder if he is a serial killer or something? I wasn't alive in the 50's but I have heard stories from my grandparents that people left their doors open and unlocked all the time, even overnight. Today, I doubt that any of us would consider that a sane thing to do. In my mind, this fear of everyone else, misguided or not, has directly contributed to people becoming more isolated.

Finally, I think there is one more factor that is important here. It seems to me that many people don't really live in traditional neighborhoods anymore. In fact a lot of young adults spend a significant amount of time living in apartment communities. The days of getting (or being given) a house directly after you are married are over for most people, they are too expensive or you can't afford to live in the right community. People are getting married later in life in general and it doesn't make sense to own a house as a single person (for most people).

3. What can we do to get our neighborhoods back? Or is it hopeless?
I don't think there is anything we can do to get things back to the way they were in the 50's. People live in a different world today and that era is pretty foreign.

On a personal level, you can try to get to know your neighbors. From the high number of responses stating "yes I know the first and last name of both neighbors" I would suggest that some of you are already doing that. I'm also guessing that the people that answered yes to that question live in the suburbs too. I live in an apartment and I have probably 15 neighbors within a few yards, I know one of them enough that we say "hi" and chat about non-important stuff when we happen to both be in the laundry room. Apartments present a unique problem because unless your complex routinely holds mixers or something, the only way you are going to meet people is if you happen to frequently run into them (in the laundry room, in the elevator, at the pool, etc). I suppose you could knock on people's doors at random and introduce yourself, but I think that is just kind of foreign, as a member of the younger generation I didn't grow up that way.

From a city level, it may be too late to do anything. However, cities like New York, San Francisco, Boston and others have a good neighborhood model. Residential areas frequently have tons of small businesses including restaurants, delis, grocery stores, dry cleaners, barbers,etc within walking distance. So the idea of getting to know the owners of the businesses around you is possible. This is just a different kind of neighborhood. I know the names of my dry cleaner, barber, most of the clerks in the grocery store, the bus drivers on my routes during commute hours and the owners of local restaurants and bars I frequent, the guys at the coffee shop who start making my drink when I hit the door and I generally have decent conversations with them.

That isn't really possible if you live in an area with generic strip malls you have to take a car to get to staffed with teenagers who would much rather be on break than serving you and don't hold jobs more than a few months at a time anyway. However, new communities pop up all the time, and if the city planners do things right, they can foster this kind of atmosphere fairly easily.

This is a really good debate topic.
I voted that I didn't really know my neighbours, and I really agree with what everybody is saying, e.g. advancement of technology, etc., making everybody stay in their houses. I haven't thought of this point myself, and I find now, that is really true.
The question that I really like is:

I think that where I live, Hong Kong, it is hopeless. Not hopeless in a sense that people will not go to get there neighbours, I mean, sure, I'm sure I can find out their names, somehow, but even so, it will never be like what it will be like before.
I'm still young, (13), and I don't really know what it was like back then, but by the way you guys described it, it sounded really nice. I just came back from a summer session a few weeks ago, and this debate has reminded me of something...
Everyday, I would ask a very good friend over there, (I hadn't known him before), to go to lunch with me. Thinking back, I feel like that I was like a newcomer into a town, and going to eat with the locals, or neighbours; and that was a very good feeling indeed.
I really see no way that it could happen in a big city like Hong Kong, unless something happens... that would be a miracle

What happened to cause the demise of the neighborhoods?

What caused our society to stop thinking about the community and focused us on ourselves?

What can we do to get our neighborhoods back? Or is it hopeless?

Do you think giving financially to a local charity makes up for the lack of involvement with neighbors in need?, Why or Why Not?
There isn't as much need for the social cohesiveness once found in neighborhoods. It has become easier to get by in this world on ones own ability and the chances of catastrophic events are minimized. Neighbors once helped neighbors more out of an awareness that someday they themselves might need the aid. As the neighborhood turned into the suburbs and the possibility of your neighbors being from someplace else and not originally from that area increased you began to see the cohesiveness of the neighborhood fade. The neighborhood began to become a strange place where you did not know your neighbor. They came from elsewhere and their ideas and worldview became different from your own.
While there is no real difference in Americans and their views there is definitely a tribal or regional nostalgia that we cannot leave behind. "I'm from Texas and you're from NYC. We just don't do things the same." is a paraphrased version of what you will hear.
I grew up in CT and at 22 followed a girl down to West Virginia.
Talk about culture shock. Completely different world--on the surface. dig beneath the facade and there is a similarity that is hard to deny. There may be some difference to philosophical flavors but the underlying morality and shared experiences stay about the same.
The difference I saw is that there was a history to the "neighborhoods" of WVA vs. CT. My neighbors growing up were from Jersey,NY,Texas and Illinois. Any attachments fade when distance is added.
They came and went. In WVA most of them had grown up there, or from a county down the road within a short enough distance so you probably knew some people and they tend to stay within the area for a majority of their lives.
There is no time to build these relations in many places due to time constraints of work--often 2 income earners--and the supposed differences in state and regional cultures has become a dividing line.
This is similar to the founding and birth of the various Little ????. Little Italy's, Chinatown and so forth.
The need for a similar and comfortable worldview identical to your own. As their children become acclimated to or grow up in America they leave the nest behind and enter the more mainstream American world.

We have always been focused on ourselves. Community togetherness stemmed from the awareness of help may be someday needed. Again as it has gotten easier to survive in this world the NEED for community aid has fallen.


I don't think the neighborhoods of old will ever come back. Even as we are all squished closer and closer together in the "Super Apartment" suburb communities now being built. (Houses are built something like 10 ft apart from each other. you can hear their TV in YOUR house.)
With the ability of modern technology to facilitate even less human contact to get things done--cell phones, e-mail, online shopping with home deliveries-- it seems as if people will also start to even leave their homes less and less. till we all live in insulated cocoons.

What happened to cause the demise of the neighborhoods?

I admit lack of experience in this area-- I moved alot as a kid-- but I do have to suspect that much of that 'community' who's passing is so often bemoaned is something of a fiction. It is nearly always spoken of in the soft, reverent tones of sentiment and reminiscence. Perhaps people were once more likely to take at least some interest in one and others' lives, but I think the notion that the experience was central to us is hogwash.

What caused our society to stop thinking about the community and focused us on ourselves?

There is a reason why people moved from their city rowhouses into the suburbs, not least of which was to stop 'hearing that old woman next door coughing in middle of the night--right through the wall!' Or, 'not have to worry about those punks away from the car at the curb.' Etc., etc.

The other big factor is fear. I'm wondering if kids who grew up in the 30s and 40s were told not to talk to strangers. I doubt it. But eventually it became a commonplace that 'other people' ought not be trusted implicitly. The idea became that it was, 'best to keep an eye on 'em.'

Did the world change? I don't think so. We are just more afraid of it, and we have more detailed justifications for our fears-- no increase in total, real justifications, just better-crafted ones that are ever easier to believe.


What can we do to get our neighborhoods back? Or is it hopeless?

I would have to say it's not something we really want. We just talk of it as an ideal, knowing there's no danger of it ever actually happening.

Think about it. There's a knock at your door. You go to answer and see that it's that guy from across the street who doesn't mow his lawn as often as you'd like. And the thought in your mind is.... honestly.... 'jeez, I'm busy.. now, what the heck does HE want?'

Either that or I'm just a misanthrope, ha ha. You be the judge.

Well I lived it as a kid. And I lived it again as an adult in midtown Kansas City where the neighbors worked together to turn the neighborhood around from a den of crack houses and prostitutes to a neighborhood and historic district.



You're right. That is most people response, regardless of if the person is someone they approve of or not. I know it is my response whenever one of the sweet elderly widows call me on the phone unexpectedly.

However, the difference between being selfish or selfless is your next step. Do you ignore the call or answer the phone? Do you go check on the strange noise in her basement or do you make some excuse. Personally, I choose the selfless side. Though no one should ever confuse me with being actually selfless. I enjoy my reputation as the helpful neighbor who will come to your assistance regardless of the hour or the problem, even if he can't fix it he can help you find someone who can. In that regard I am very selfish.

I am also a huge fan of all the free home made baked goods!

I believe that for the most part, you are correct. I'm not certain that cohesiveness among fellow neighbors can be revived, but perhaps civically Mr. neighborhood blight could be helped. Pro-civic participation groups like co-intelligence.org are creating models to increase citizen deliberation at all levels of government, thus helping people to talk with one another to truly come to well-thought out conclusions. Citizen deliberation councils(CDCs) are one way. The Danes are using a similar idea in utilizing "consensus conferences" that includes not only leading experts in a given area of study, but every day citizens from all walks of life as well. A given community might appoint several councils to research and study possible solutions to a given problem and then have them present their findings to a city council. So while you may not want to associate with your neighbor who won't mow his lawn, you could still interact with him in a civically productive way through a citizen's council, that will solve community problems and get you to be more familiar with others who live around you.

I feel one of the major factors contributing to the demise of the neighbrhood (which I don't think I've seen anyone mention) is transience. In the village in which I grew up, everyone was in their home for life. If someone moved into the area, chances are it was forever. If a young person bought or built a house - that was going to be their address for the rest of their lives.

Now, with our society as mobile as it is, more and more people live in rented accomodations - and those who do buy houses often do it with a view to moving in five or ten years, if not sooner.

When one lived in a neighborhood or a town for life, there was more of a commitment to the community. You knew that your next door neighbors would always be your next door neighbors. A relationship with them seemed more natural as it would be more permanent. I've lived at roughly thirty addresses in my adult life. At my current residence, I've had neighbors move out and in on both sides in less than a year. Such lifestyles are just not conducive to forming any kind of community bond.

I think those of us who grew up in a less transient community are more apt to get to know the neighbors just out of habit or tradition. While I know the neighbors on one side of my house and have spoken to them a number of times, I only know the neighbors on the other side by sight - to nod to on my way in from work. Even so, in the wake of Hurricane Charley, I was pleased to see that quite a few people were out assiting each other and helping with clean-up and repairs. While clearing our own yard the day after the storm passed, I went ahead and cleared the front yards on either side of us - though I have yet to meet that one set of neighbors.

Maybe we just need more natural disasters...

What happened to cause the demise of the neighborhoods?

Gosh, I didn't realize there was one.

Ok, I know that it's talked about a lot. But I'm pretty sure it doesn't have to be that way.

I'm 55 years old, so I was there for the unlocked doors and cars and wandering in and out of the neighbors' houses as a kid.

We started locking our doors in the 60s but still always knew our neighbors.

I've been thinking about all the (many) places I've lived over the years as I read the posts -- all over Texas; Louisiana, California, Colorado, Florida; Athens, Greece; Boston; inner city, rural farmland, suburban sprawl. I've always without exception known my neighbors on both sides at least two or three houses on each side, and across the street as well. Even in Athens, where the language was a problem, it was easy to meet all the neighbors. Even in Key West, the ultimate transient community. Big smile, clear declarative sentences, non-threatening manner. I'm a big guy, and probably what you might call rough-looking, but I don't have any culturally profilable tics (biker clothes, nose ring, tats, Rolex). People are naturally curious when they can't automatically catalogue you.

Thinking about all my relatives, ex-wives, old friends I don't see anymore: I can't think of anyone who doesn't have some community involvement on their block going on.

I have pugs, very cute cuddly dogs that I walk often; I have a yard sale shortly after I move in; I am outside a lot, and I make it a point to smile and wave and say hello -- and if my neighbors look away I just say hello a little louder the next time, and wave harder. Once I get a reaction I don't do anything else unless they make some reciprocal move; they always do, at some point. And when we have a conversation I offer them my assistance if they ever need help with anything around their house. I play electric guitar, so I tell them if things ever get too loud to let me know and I'll turn down immediately.

I'm not a particularly friendly person -- shy, even; not all my neighbors have been gregarious party monsters, but I somehow get to know them. I don't spend a lot of time with some of them, but I still know them. The point being that people haven't really changed all that much. And they HAVE to come out sometime!

What caused our society to stop thinking about the community and focused us on ourselves?

Can't answer that one; different people do different things, no matter their commute distance, work hours, number of jobs, or community transience. Sorry to be so retrograde.

What can we do to get our neighborhoods back? Or is it hopeless?

See question one. Also, find out what you have in common. Attend community meetings. Spend more time trimming the hedges or painting your fence. Don't talk politics or religion? Don't be obnoxious.

Do you think giving financially to a local charity makes up for the lack of involvement with neighbors in need?, Why or Why Not?

No, not unless it's a local charity. Libertarians say, think locally, act locally. Well, some, anyway.

I just think that you take care of your homies. That's what the best of America is all about.

Respectfully submitted,
Delta

The ME mentality. It runs rampant in the area of the country that I live.
People have forgotten (or, in some cases, they never learned) how to
treat others with the same respect and consideration they would want.
The new technological advances have made our lives "easier", but not
without trade-offs.



To echo what others on this thread have said, it is a combination of things:

1. People are not staying put, like they once did. They are upgrading to
better cars, better homes, better wives, "better lives." So, there
is not the longevity that once existed in neighborhoods.

2. The internet, while it is a wonderful vehicle for gathering information
and spreading ideas, it comes with a cost. The cost is physical, inter-personal
relationships. People are spending their spare time on-line, and that leaves
little time for getting to know those around them.



The quest for material posessions.
The competitive aspect of survival. (If I think about the other guy I'll have
less.)
The fear factor. (the media has painted society as a place filled with pedophiles
and rapists)

Also, in the bigger cities, there are so many different cultures enmeshed. It
is hard to find common ground with others who do not share similar backgrounds,
religions, etc.



We could start by saying hello to our neighbors. Asking them how they are doing.
That is even a rarity, anymore. I don't think it's hopeless. We just need to
make it a priority.



No, I do not think giving money will make up for the actual human contact that
people need. We all need each other. But, we have forgotten that.

In relation to the question: when did we stop becoming neighbors? Perhaps the answer is simply that we don't like our neighbors. The lady that lives across from me rushes her kids in her house when I light my cigar on the front porch. In seeing it, you would think I was wearing a raincoat and flashing kids or something. My brother in law gets such a kick out of it. The people next to them call the police and make "disturbing the police" reports if you unpack your car after 10:00 p.m. I don't want to hobnob with the neighbors and I really don't want to find out why I'm not best buds with them.

I think you nailed this right on the head Nebraska. So many "busy bodies" in the world today. A neighbor is now someone who "looks down" on the occupants next door, not someone who want to enjoy the neighbors next door.

I can think of several reasons.

One is that our kids did not go to the neighborhood school. Consequently, we have not made friends by association with their children...and the ones we have made are scattered all over town due to their similar interest in the school(s) are kid(s) did go to.

Two, everything that the kids do is so organized. There are no neighborhood "pick-up"games of baseball or football.

Three, the mother is working. Daycare has taken the place of much of the time mothers once spent hanging out or taking turns watching eachothers kids.

What happened to cause the demise of the neighborhoods?

I'd have to say that it's a combination of things. I, like a few others here, am old enough to have experienced the "old fashioned" neighborhood, at least for a while, as a youngster, and so can vouch for it having been real.

I don't think that the suburbs are necessarily the problem, though. There were suburbs in the 40's and 50's and 60's and people still got to know and associate with their neighbors. The commute wasn't a negative factor.

As Wertz said, back in those days, people bought a house, or even rented, in a place they were going to be for most of the rest of their lives. But that isn't quite it, either. There was a reason that they stayed on for decades. It was their jobs.

Up until about the mid-60's a lot of people were hired by a company that they would likely be with for most of their corporate life. They may have started in an entry level position, moved up through the ranks, and retired in a mid-level or senior position. The job paid enough to cover the bills and put something away for retirement. There was a loyalty between both the employee and employer.

This changed during that time period, though. Befor the mid 60's the average number of jobs held by a person, lifetime, was under 5. By the mid 70's, that number had risen to about 10. Now, while I can't find any statistics for it, I would say it's probably closer to 20. Each new job may require one to move, whether it's across town, or across the country.

It's a lot harder, (although, as OverlandSailor demonstrates, not impossible) to maintain a sense of community, when everyone in the communuty is coming and going every few years, looking for that next employment position.

Well, I can attest to the fact that the old style "neighborhoods" still exist and are thriving. I have lived in a small town for the past 10 years, since my daughter was born in 1994. Before that I always lived in large metropolitan areas where there is no real sense of community. The town where I live now is wonderful. Many of us are very civically involved (the mayor lives across the street). We all are raising kids the same age (roughly)-- we are always helping each other out. When we moved from one house to the house next-door--my neighbors got all of their extended family together and pretty much moved us without us having to hire ANYONE. I go to the same coffee shop, mechanic, grocery store, you name it-- and everyone knows everyone (not always a good thing!). Since it is a somewhat rural area (just outside a medium size city), the cost of living is not through the roof, and most of the families have stay at home moms (or moms working only part time). This makes a world of difference. The emphasis really is on family and community and not chasing the dollar.

I guess I would conclude that these neighborhoods still exist-- but pretty much outside of the large urban areas. Maybe the "change" is that the large urban areas no longer have as much of a sense of community. Although some still do.

I moved from a very large city to Cody, Wyoming (I've since moved back to Oklahoma) and my personal feelings on what has happened to neighborhoods has to do with people moving so much. Also - the larger the city, the more you are crowded together and privacy is at a premium. The desire to have your own space isolates people in their neighborhoods.

I went from knowing just my immediate neighbors, keeping my eyes down and hands to myself to a community where everyone knows everyone else. You looked people in the eye walking down the street and spoke. People were always touching you on the arm, patting you on the back, hugging............that was very hard to get used to - I flinched more than once when someone would start to hug me.

When we moved back to Oklahoma, I knew I couldn't live in the city again - I liked knowing my neighbors and the friendlyness. We moved out in the country and the closest town is very small. Where I live, we look out for each other, pitch in when needed (a neighbor's house burned down and we had a place for him to live and furniture until he could get something permanent) and get together. We have a disabled Vietnam Vet (mental) we all look out for and check on - we help with hay, cattle, horses and the lot. Life is so much better this way!

Wow! That sounds like a great town. I should move there.

What happened to cause the demise of the neighborhoods?Not sure that there is a demise. I just moved to my new town (i.e. 8 days ago) and yes I know my neighbors' names and phone numbers. It is a small town in North East Ohio, after living in a moderate sized city in Northern California. I think that by this summer all of my neighbors and I will know each other and have been guests at our homes.

I think the trouble is that a lot of people have lost the art of conversation in general. My family used to sit and debate issues around the table before, during, and after meals. We talked to each other and learned how to communicate. This does not seem to be the case as much anymore. We all got together at meal times and all the family joined in.

What caused our society to stop thinking about the community and focused us on ourselves?Our lives seems to more focused on work than home. Am trying to reverse that and have a more home centered life.

What can we do to get our neighborhoods back? Or is it hopeless?It's only hopeless if we give up. My best suggestion is go and introduce yourself. I am not very good in that department, but my better half is, so she did the honors and lo and behold I now have new friends. Doesn't take a lot, just getting up and making the connection.

Do you think giving financially to a local charity makes up for the lack of involvement with neighbors in need?, Why or Why Not? No I do not, because that is just charity. Being a neighbor is more than giving aid, it is a way of life. The social connection is more important than money.

Yes I know the First Names of Both of my nextdoor neighbor[ 29 ] [46.03%]

Well, I know the First Name of one of my nextdoor neighbor.[ 18 ] [28.57%]
No I don't really know my nextdoor neighbors.......................[ 16 ] [25.40%]
................................................................................
...............------ -----------
(Totals of answers 2 and 3)......................................................34......53.97%


Based on the poll that is running for awhile, slightly less then half of the respondents know both of their next door neighbors by name.

I imagine it would get alot worse if we asked how many know ALL of the neighbors on their block by name, or even on sight.

When I was a kid, ALL of the neighbors knew each other, helped each other out, looked out for each other and their kids, etc.

The primary question of this topic was:

What happened to cause the demise of the neighborhoods?

Some have suggested nothing has changed. Perhaps that is true for some, but many of us remember a time when neighborhood meant alot more then simply sub-division.