This was something I planned to tell only a few people on this board, but it is easier just to bring it up in this forum rather than send a bunch of PM's. It is not an earth-shattering event, but it is a life-changing one for our immediate family of three.

Two weeks ago I found a lump in my breast. The doctor told me two days ago that it is cancerous. Yesterday he discussed lumpectomy vs. mastectomy--the smaller lump in the other breast is harder to get to and will be biopsied with the help of a machine next Friday. The results of that test and determination of lymph involvement may mandate more extensive surgery. Chemotherapy is apparently a given.

I would appreciate whatever prayers and good thoughts you can send our way under these circumstances.

Sorry to hear that Paladin Elspeth you will be in my thoughts and I hope everything works.

Aw, thats bad news. Very bad news indeed.

I'm not a believer, but I will pray for you nonetheless Elspeth. And may it do you well to know that my thoughts are with you and your family.

Take heart and stay strong for a positive optimism is the best medicine!
That much I have learned from years of ill health.

That is terrible news, PE.

My prayers are certainly with you, and I hope that everything works out well.

Treatments for breast cancer are rapidly developing, and I hope you can find one that is not so intrusive as traditional chemotherapy. They are developing targetting chemo in better ways to reduce the side effects and to increase the effectiveness. link

I'm not a praying man, but I am definitely sending good thoughts your way PE. I truly hope everything works out well
I'm also glad that your son is back home and will be there for you while you go through this, more close family support and less outside stressors will hopefully help speed you to recovery.

Oh dear. That is bad news. Like moif I'm not a believer, but I will be thinking of you and hoping for the best, even if I'm not praying in any meaningful sense.

Which, these days, is not to shabby at all. Breast cancer is still a serious illness, but it is eminently survivable with modern treatments. The chances are you'll be around for many long years to come. Good luck!

My God, PE, this is awful news. I can't even imagine what you must be going through, and I don't know what to say.

You are in my thoughts and our family will pray for you every day. Keep your family close, and surround yourself with happy, healing positive energy.

I'm so sorry to hear that PE. I really hope everything works out ok for you. Best of luck to you and your family.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Stay strong and best of luck.

You are gonna be fine PE. No doubts on my part whatso ever

What ever good karma I have left to me these days will be sent your way.

Well, I am a believer and am asking for as much as can be given from all the spirits out there.

Psalm 9:9-10

Judges 5:31

I Cor 13:13

Romans 12:10

Shalom & courage, PE

Good thoughts from everyone here work too

Oh, no, PE! What awful news! I will keep you in my thoughts. You're a strong woman; I know you'll get through this. Know that a lot of people are sending positive, healing energy your way.

PE,

You are in my thoughts, prayers, and hopes.

Keep your spirits up , I believe that is the best medicine for the fight you have ahead.

((((((((((((((((((((((( good healing vibes ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

My mother has been treated for breast cancer twice. She's been cancer free for three years now. She had standard chemo both times with few side effects. Keep your chin up, you are in my prayers.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck and I hope you make it through this without a scratch...

PE I wish you the best of luck with that and a speedy recovery!

I am sorry to read this news, PE. You are a fine debater, a sympathetic reader and a strong woman. I have full confidence that you will overcome this illness. I, like so many others, will be thinking about you. If it's not too uncomfortable for you, please keep us aprised of your progress. And, please, continue debating with us.

Sorry to hear this PE. Don't worry about it though, I know some doctors who specialize in cancer treatment, you're in good hands, these people make cancer look like the flu. You're in my prayers.

CP

Thank you for the wonderful messages, you guys. I feel very encouraged; today feels better than yesterday did.

I'm getting a second opinion. I contacted a well-known group of specialists over the Net. The scheduling person will be calling us on Monday. It means a trip out of state, but it might well be worth it.

Your messages here and via PM are really appreciated by me and by Curmudgeon.
Today was actually a good day.

PE you seem to be a person of quiet strength, which should help you through this. You will be in my thoughts.

BoF

I've been sitting here for a few minutes and have not been able to think of anything that could be said in reaction to the situation you have graciously allowed us to share with you.

What I can say is that, believer or non-believer, be assured that you will be in all our thoughts and prayers, myself obviously included. I can't even imagine how this illness will test the limits of your emotional, spiritual, and physical stength.

This will truly be a fight in which the battles will be hard and long, but know that as St. Michael took on the devil with his armies of angels behind him, you will take on this illness with angels both here and in Heaven. The angels in Heaven will see you're taken care of spiritually, and us Angelic Debaters (sorry, I had to throw that in) will help you with your battles here.

I know I can speak on behalf of all of us here when I say we're with you all the way and that you'll be in our thoughts, wishes and prayers.

Kick that lump's rump into oblivion!

Hey Paladin,

I've never really known what to say in such occasions... But like all who wrote to you, I want to say that I'll be thinking of you here. That's all I can do, but I believe it will give you some strength. Courage!

Hi Palladin. Like Horyok, I have trouble coming up with a non-cliche at times like this. I wish you and your family the very best!

I will also share with you that my favorite person on earth, my Aunt Judy, just had a mastectomy three weeks ago. After she first found the lump, she did not even wait for the results of the biopsy before she announced "take the whole thing, I'm not using it any more". This was totally in character. She sought to put all of us at ease with her humor.

I know your situation is different. I guess what I'm trying to say is that along with modern science, prayer, and positive thinking, don't forget that old line about laughter being the best medicine.

Paladin Elspeth

I am so sorry to hear about this! You are one of my favorite posters. My prayers are with you -- just focus on taking good care of yourself right now-- that is what is most important. There is excellent treatment out there and I am sure you will get it. Focus on yourself right now and getting better so we can see you back on the board soon in good form!

There is little that I can add except to say that it takes great courage to talk about this. You have my very best wishes.

Many thanks to you guys. Your support is more helpful than you know.

This Friday I'm undergoing a stererotaxic biopsy of the right side where there is a smaller lump that is harder to get to.

On March 30th we will be driving to Zion, IL where a participating hospital of the Cancer Treatment Centers of America is located. It's about a four-hour drive from where we live. This will be my "second opinion."

The next day the evaluations begin.

Dear PaladinElspeth,

You are a valued member of the America's Debate community, you raise the quality of every thread you contribute to and more importantly, you are a darn, fine human being.

For the past week I have been sojurning back and forth to the hospital where my 80-year-old father has been dealing with his diabetes, anemia, bladder infection and a leg wound that is slow to heal. I hate hospitals, but I appreciate the caliber of quality and professionalism and respect in a good one that treates the patient as they should be treated.

I am a spiritual, but not religious, man. I have Faith In Something Bigger than us and whether that is God, Buddah, Allah, or the Great Pumpkin, I cannot say. All I can say is put your faith in your spiritual deity and your trust in your physician's skills.

Take care, get well, make Curmudgeon go out and smuggle in a pint of Cookies n' Cream Ice Cream for you and put your focus on YOU and being about the business of healing.

As the guy says in the commercials, "We'll leave a light on for you."

I posted an update on PE's journey in a different thread yesterday, largely because she asked me to check on her birthday greetings for her. I then took our daughter to lunch, and returned to the surgery waiting room. We were greeted with, "We've been looking for you!" I asked, "What went wrong?" (It seemed a reasonable question at 1:30, with surgery scheduled for 2:00.) Nothing had gone wrong, she was in recovery, waiting for a room assignment, half an hour before surgery was scheduled. I missed the chance to talk to the surgeon yesterday because we were at lunch, but apparently it went very well.

The first day's chemotherapy went well also, from the feedback I have been given. She was very tired this morning, so we only spent a few minutes with her.

Curmudgeon,

Thanks for the update! Glad everything is going well. I will add my thoughts and prayers to those posted above.

My very best wishes go out to you.

Curmudgeon, I offer this somewhat masculine exhortation to PE:

"May you grind your cancer cells beneath your heels. May you burn their villages, trample their crops, and take their women!"

Curmudgeon, thanks for the update (I missed it on the BD thread). Be sure to give PE all our best wishes for a quick recovery. And give her lots of hugs! We miss you, PE!!

Great new, 'Mudge. It's good to know that the prognosis is good for PE!!

Those of you who were in the chat room on the 1st saw PE and I squabble about my beard.

On Friday, she started to lose her hair big time, and bit the bullet. She took a wig to the local Cosmetology school where they finished the job, and helped her learn to wear the wig and style it herself.

I took my daughter to Wal-Mart this afternoon, had my beard clipped off, and purchased shaving supplies. Now I have to learn to shave. Any input on how to use a razor safely would be appreciated! I am serious when I say that I have never shaved myself without cutting my face!

The first time I ever shaved was standing in the latrine of a barracks on Lackland Air Force Base in Texas along with 49 other idiots just as scared and confused as I was by the drill instructor yelling at us to hurry the *&#@# up!

You don't have to perform under that kind of stress. Here are a few tips for you, Curmudgeon:

1) Prepare your skin and razor.
Most shaving mishaps are caused by dull, dirty razors and insufficiently prepped beards. Make sure all your equipment (and your face) is clean, warm, and wet. Otherwise, you risk ingrown hairs and razor burn. Exfoliating the skin with a loofah or face scrub once or twice a week can make shaving more comfortable.

Never shave cold! Aerosol creams applied to a dry face do not soften the beard and therefore make shaving much more uncomfortable.

a) Shower first or Wet your face and a wash cloth with very warm water.

2) Soak the skin
After rinsing your face, soak the washcloth again in very warm water and place it on your beard for a minute or two. The moist heat will soften the whiskers and make your skin supple, which will reduce razor burn. Alternatively, you can shave while taking a hot shower. You will need to buy a fog-free shower mirror in order to do this properly.

3) Lather Up
a) Fill the sink with very warm water.
Immediately apply your shaving cream (or foam or gel) with your shaving brush or fingertips. Applying Shaving Cream - The best approach to apply shaving cream is to use a circular motion ending in an upward stroke. The upward stroke will stands your beard up and away from your face making the shave even closer. Spread it evenly over your face, and make sure that it completely covers your whiskers. Don't neglect the facial areas that don't show up in a full-on mirror view, such as underneath the chin and the backward-facing part of the jaw.

4) Shave with the Grain
The direction you shave in is important. You may seem to get a closer shave going against the grain (against the direction in which your whiskers grow), but this practice damages the hair shaft and the whiskers grow back thicker and tougher. If you're in the habit of shaving this way, it'll take some time to retrain your beard. But after two or three weeks of shaving with the grain, you'll get a closer shave that will also be easier on your skin.

a) Dunk your clean razor into the sinkful of hot water. Make a short sweep down one side of your face with the grain.

After every few swipes, dunk the razor in hot water and continue until you've uncovered every centimeter of skin.

c) Shave methodically. Always use long, slow movements in one direction. Patches of unshaved or slightly shaved skin are rather unsightly, and the sign of careless grooming. Stroke Directions - start with the sides, then the mustache area, and last, the chin. The chin hairs are the toughest, so this allows them the most time to soften under the lather.

d) Stop the bloodshed: many shaving cuts are done during the movements between sweeps of the razor, not during the actual shaving motion. To reduce the incidence of shaving cuts, avoid moving the razor horizontally against your skin. Instead, lift the razor an inch or two (2.5-5 cm) off the surface of your skin and place down on the new location to be shaved.

5) Close the Pores: Rinse off your face and equipment

a) Don't wipe—Apply the wash cloth dipped with lukewarm water to your face. This will close your pores.

The final touch: Feel around with your fingers to search out any missed patches. Make a pass against the grain to feel for any rough spots. Spots often missed are the rear portions of the jaw both above and below the jawbone.

c) If you are bleeding: Use an Alum Block or Styptic pencils: Moisten the tip, dab it on to the wound and watch it dry up. If you do not have a styptic pencil, then apply a piece of tissue paper.

6) Apply After Shave
Smooth on a moisturizer or aftershave to prevent your skin from drying. Aftershave comes in three forms: lotion, balm and gel. The lotion is the most commonly used, and also the most hazardous. If you are using aftershave to relieve razor burn, it is advisable to choose a balm, as the majority contain almost no oil, alcohol or fragrance. The alcohol content of aftershave lotion can dry most faces and actually aggravate some skin problems, such as shaving bumps (swellings caused by hairs becoming lodged in the skin when growing out), though these can be avoided. If you have very sensitive skin avoid a perfumed aftershave balm - they usually contain some alcohol as a base for the perfume oil. Aftershave gel is very similar to the balm, but has a cooling effect on the skin. So the ideal combination for both looks and smells is balm or gel for the face, and cologne dabbed onto the neck. Test any scented lotions for mildness before slathering them on. A less expensive, but very effective product, is aloe vera gel. It soothes razor burn and moisturizes your skin, and it does this without using any long, difficult-to-pronounce chemicals. It's also available in a non-aerosol spray.

I recommend a good aftershave gel. Or you could just go to your barber and let him have at it.

I recall in 1984 when my employer informed me 5 minutes before I went home, that I needed to be clean shaven before I reported to work the next day. (Their interpretation of OSHA regulations.) I went to my regular barber, who told me that he didn't have enough liability insurance to shave me. He advised me., "It's not safe for you to shave."

That said, thank you for some excellent advice. My printer is being a bit arbitrary lately, but when it is working better, I'll print your advice.

PE and I had a talk earlier today. I suggested that part of my ineptness might be due to a lack of hand and eye co-ordination when using a mirror. I was in my 40's when I first looked in a mirror, I have no self image whatsoever. I close my eyes to comb my hair, and I refuse to look in a mirror after a haircut. I am more likely to use a mirror on a weekly rather than a daily basis.

PE reminded me that she had learned to shave other people as a Registered Nurse. She also reminded me where she had shaved me in preparation for surgery. It is important enough to her that I be clean shaven that she has volunteered to do the shaving for me on a regular basis. She even got me to smile somewhere in the process.

Updating from Zion, IL:

We drove down on Wednesday for chemo treatments on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. We intended to drive U.S. 31 down Michigan's West coast, but we got a late start, grabbed some food to eat in the car (to save time), and headed South on Business U.S. 31. Unfortunately, South business 31 takes you to I-96 which in turn takes you to Grand Rapids. Busy eating, and talking, I as the navigator didn't notice we had missed the turn to Grand Haven and were headed to Grand Rapids until we reached Grand Rapids. We headed from there to Holland and eventually got back on track.

PE was nervous about the Chemo yesterday, but it was a different experience as an out-patient. (Ultimately a very positive one, I believe, as an observer.)

We participated in a weekly customer feedback program yesterday, and we were listened to.

The kitchen allows the chemo patients to order off menu. Yesterday, she had popcorn with her lunch. Today she asked for chicken broth. The first bowl was chicken bullion. She sent it back. Two bowls of chicken broth were then delivered to her with apologies.

I was trying to check my e-mail for a couple of messages I was looking for. I was told, "You have 1,855 new messages." Despite that, I managed to find the ones that I was looking for.

When I went to talk to her, she was sleeping soundly, so I came back to the library to update her friends.

Thanks for the update 'mudge! Hopefully both of you will keep smiling. My thoughts are with you guys!

Doc

Good luck mudge and PE.

You're defiintely in our thoughts. Always thought the world of ya P.E.

Thanks for the continued updates, Mudge. You guys are in my thoughts a lot these days.

(a bunch of flowers )

Curmudgeon,

Hello. Thank you for keeping us informed about your wife's treatment.
Please give her my warmest regards, and let her know that I am thinking
of her.

Thanks for the update, 'Mudge - the two of you (and Shego!) are in my thoughts and prayers.

My heartfelt prayers and my very best wishes for good health and a speedy recovery. Big hugs too!

Thanks for the update, Curmudgeon...

I hope PE is doing well.

Hello from Muskegon,

It has been a long day, and I am tired. PE has her second series of chemo-therapy treatments behind her. They assured her that these first four sessions would be the worst she has to endure. They adjusted the meds they give her to control nausea, etc. She felt well enough when she left the hospital to kick me out from behind the wheel and do most of the driving on the way home.

I had seen a forecast this morning that said we might catch the Northern end of a tropical storm, 8 - 10" of rain, etc. As we turned into Michigan, we got hit with a downpour. Cars were pulling under the overpasses to wait it out. I didn't know how long we might have to wait, and I headed North at what I hoped was a safe speed. We outran it in about ten minutes. Here at home, the radar picture indicates nothing but clear skies.

We pick up Shego from a friend's house in about 12 hours. We are both in agreement that watching her mother sit in a chair for 6 hours straight listening to a pump click has nothing to offer her. The infusion cubicles only have one guest chair. We will likely continue to make arrangements to make this trip without her.

Thanks, everybody!

We just got home. Aside from some heavy traffic in Chicago and a little heavy rain in Indiana, the trip home was smooth. (It was Indiana, 'Mudge! )

I am feeling better after this round of chemo treatments. My oncologist gave me stronger anti-nausea medication. Also, he started me on Neulasta to generate white blood cells and stave off immunosuppression.

Thank you for the thoughts, prayers, and good wishes. I am so fond of you guys!

Elspeth

I think about you often, PE. You are in our prayers at the Hernandez house.

Thank you, Mrs. P.

I'm looking forward to seeing Shego tomorrow. I missed her, but I have to admit that there wouldn't have been much to occupy her time there.

I'm glad you're feeling better, PE. I think about you often. BTW, woe be it to me to suggest something which is illegal, but medical marijuana is supposed to be quite good dealing with the side-effects of chemo. Anyway, please continue to keep us posted.

Updating from Zion, Illinois; which had a broken water main, a critical drop in water pressure, and an ensuing boil all water before using advisory for the past several days.

PE is on her third day of chemo-therapy here this morning, and we will be headed back to Muskegon in a few hours. She is sleeping at the moment. Infusion is on the third floor, Internet access is on the fourth floor.

Thursday, I was under the weather, and PE was trying to take care of me while sitting in chair 17 for 6 hours, being pumped full of chemicals.

Friday, PE was in chair 19. I sat with her, but slept through lunch. I was still asked by a couple of folks if I could help them on the Internet.

The first one needed help planning a route home. He wanted to use a specific road, but we couldn't locate it. Then he mentioned a mall that his wife wanted to shop at on her way back. Could I find that? As it happened, that forced his route on to the road that we hadn't been able to find. "That's why the road was important to her!" I told him that the Internet could be a lot of fun, and was very easy to use these days. "Try contacting your local school system to see if they offer classes." His reply... "I will, that's who I work for..."

The second was the mother of the patient in chair 17. They were trying to make a decision to go home and call Hospice, or wait until Thursday when another oncologist was returning from vacation. She wanted to look up the side effects of the drugs he was on, and the ones that they might put him on. PE had been sitting with them playing cards. When we heard, "Code Blue, Infusion 17," over the intercom; we both reacted. I was tired, and had forgotten which chair PE was supposed to be in. I discovered that I could still run. The staff grabbed the mother, took her to a staff elevator, and got her to the infusion area before I got there. PE stopped me before I got to the hall she had been in to tell me that she was OK, and that everyone had been evacuated from the hall. After awhile, we heard the staff questioning the patient, and a while later we were told that he had been moved to ICU. At that point, we were asked if we had been impacted by the emergency. PE described my confusion to the nurse. She turned to me and tried to get me to agree to an assessment. "Do I need to check your blood pressure?," etc. I described to her a few of the close scrapes that I had been through over the years. She kept pressing the issue. Finally I said, "I've raised children." That, she could relate to. "This won't give you any gray hairs then, will it?"

We went looking for a restaurant to eat dinner out last night, when we discovered a wig shop. PE decided that McDonald's and a new wig sounded like a good compromise. She is a red head today. She was looking for a blonde wig, but she liked the style and fit of the red wig that the owner said would look good on her. He and I had a long chat while PE had their stylist trim the wig. He's had the shop open for about thirty days, and is in the process of discovering that business hours, product lines, advertising, etc. are shaped more by the customer than the owner. "I worked for the man for thirty years, and I'm used to being told what to do. I'm flexible."