Sorry i forgot to add this link to show how much this little joke cost the ones who made it...

Riots over TV satire burn Lebanon’s reputation

That was good Lesly. Are you tape recording my private conversations?? Cuz that could be considered wire tapping!

(AP)Late Tuesday night, federal agents detained the remnants of Tropical Storm Alberto on suspected violations of Immigration laws in a joint operation between agents of ICE– Immigration and Customs Enforcement– and the US Secret Service.

Officials said they were acting on a “credible threat relayed to ICE by the NSA that was the result of domestic monitoring of NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) communications.”

Alberto was tracked to North Carolina, where, according to officials, he was “blending in with the legitimate American weather.”

This is believed to be the first instance of the government detaining a weather system on alleged Immigration charges.

Calls to the ICE were not immediately returned, and a telephone outage prevented comment from the NSA.

Mike posted this one on his blog. He didn't attribute it to anyone else, so I will assume he came up with this gem himself.

A United States Senator has introduced an amendment to re-name the Republican energy bill after an infamous Ex-Exxon-Mobil executive, RAW STORY has learned.

Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ) filed the amendment today. It would re-name the bill itself, "The Lee R. Raymond Oil Profitability Act.” Raw Story

You could write for The Onion, Mike. Excellent humor.

In the Truth is Stranger Than Fiction department, I saw a 'GOP, Grand Oil Party' bumper sticker in Dallas today....on the back of a Dodge Durango SUV with a Hemi engine.

Americans who make Lesly cry.

Perhaps it was intended as some sort of irony. I used to know a guy who worked for the Joseph Bonanno family who sported the "Mafia Staff Car - Keepa You Hands Off" bumper sticker on his black Town Car (as did quite a few of his colleagues).

Yesterday, they said life begins with conception.

Today, they say life begins with intercourse.

Tomorrow, they will tell us life begins with dinner and a movie.

While Bush deemed the attempts at quiet "helpful and encouraging," he called for "literally one more second" of complete silence, saying he was "very close to getting it together and almost had it" before being interrupted by the sound of a car alarm moments ago.

When asked for copies of the recently discovered records to review, Snow replied "For the purpose of national security these records have been declared top secret and have been sealed."

In response to this heated criticism, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow said, "President Bush believes he was elected to provide a safe and secure environment for the education of America's youth and that is what he intends to do. People who oppose us on this issue are not only wrong, they are promoting drug use and chaos in our schools."

After the announcement, members of congress and the media surrounded General Bush for a chance to congratulate him on his new position. Many kissed his robe as a sign of respect and subjugation. Said Senator Lieberman, "Doesn't he look wonderful in that new uniform. Now is the time for all Americans to get behind General Bush, our Supreme Commander."

Washington, D.C. - President Bush, citing recent incendiary statements by Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez, today ordered a total closure of America's border with Venezuela. Said President Bush, "Our neighbor to the south is unrespecting us and that is something that no Commander-in-Chief can tolerate. Therefore, I have instructed the army and national guard to immediately seal the border with Venezuela."

Reaction on Capital Hill was swift with Bush receiving strong bipartisan support for this policy decision. Senator Bill Frist said, "This is a bold move by a forceful and decisive leader. Venezuela must be made to pay a price for their harsh and reckless rhetoric." Senator Lieberman added, "I agree completely with my colleague from Tennessee. All Americans stand united behind our president as he protects us from this verbal abuse."

Later in the day, Acting Assistant Attorney General Steven Bradbury was asked if the president was aware that the United States did not share a border with Venezuela. Bradbury replied, "The president is always right. If he says that the United States has a border with Venezuela, then the United States has a border with Venezuela."

Fox News, in support of the president, prominently featured a map that showed Venezuela sharing a common border with Arizona and New Mexico.

http://wertz.livejournal.com/210715.html

That is pure comedy gold. Wertz is on his game.

Arf! True poo, and in Wertz living color.

OKay, help out the dizzy foreigner here... Wertz made those up ...right?

Yes, I think that is a safe assumption.

Americans who make Lesly cry.

TOPEKA, KS—In response to a Nov. 7 referendum, Kansas lawmakers passed emergency legislation outlawing evolution, the highly controversial process responsible for the development and diversity of species and the continued survival of all life.

"From now on, the streets, forests, plains, and rivers of Kansas will be safe from the godless practice of evolution, and species will be able to procreate without deviating from God's intended design," said Bob Bethell, a member of the state House of Representatives. "This is about protecting the integrity of all creation."

<snip>

Violators of the new law may face punishments that include jail time, stiff fines, and rehabilitative education and training to rid organisms suspected of evolutionary tendencies. Repeat offenders could face chemical sterilization.

To enforce the law, Kansas state police will be trained to investigate and apprehend organisms who exhibit suspected signs of evolutionary behavior, such as natural selection or speciation. Plans are underway to track and monitor DNA strands in every Kansan life form for even the slightest change in allele frequencies.

"Barn swallows that develop lighter, more streamlined builds to enable faster migration, for example, could live out the rest of their brief lives in prison," said Indiana University chemist and pro-intelligent-design author Robert Hellenbaum, who helped compose the language of the law. "And butterflies who mimic the wing patterns and colors of other butterflies for an adaptive advantage, well, their days of flaunting God's will are over."